^^ sorry it would not be inappropriate. Go to everything.

You should attend everything that you can attend. It would be "inappropriate" for you to attend anything. I would go to the gathering and the mass.

I would definitely go to one, and I think you can choose whichever one makes the most sense for you.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little confused as to why your sister's going, but whatever. Go the Mass since she'll be there.

You couldn't come up with a reason why her sister would go? Really?

I would go to the one that is most convenient.

Anonymous wrote:My BIL's sister died suddenly. Funeral arrangements will be a gathering one day and a Catholic Mass funeral and maybe a reception afterwards the next day.

Question is whether I should go to one or the other. I'm going to support my BIL, but did not know the deceased very well at all. I think we met twice.

Issues to consider that might help you help me decide - I'm not Catholic. Everything is just over an hour's drive, I have a flexible work schedule. My sister is flying in from the Midwest to attend the Mass, then will leave immediately after. If I don't go to the Mass, I won't see my sister.

I believe in showing up and supporting family and friends in grief, but is it inappropriate for me to attend either since I'm kind of far removed?

NO. There are very, very few circumstances in which it is inappropriate to show up at a funeral. You may not have known the deceased well, but you know the loved ones left behind, and that is more than enough. Go and support those left behind, that is what these services are for.

Attend with your sister. Mass and then the graveside (if there is one). He will see you there. He might not talk to you, but he will know you came. That's what matters.

Is there a graveside service after the mass? That's how most of my Catholic funerals go.
Day 1- Wake
Day 2- Mass, Graveside service and then a luncheon at the church or at the spouse's house.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little confused as to why your sister's going, but whatever. Go the Mass since she'll be there.

Because it is her husband's sister.

I was raised Catholic. Go to the wake. Mass is longish and they won't know you are there. They may or may not have food after it. The wake is when you show up, say "sorry for your loss" and sign the guest book.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little confused as to why your sister's going, but whatever. Go the Mass since she'll be there.

Presumably because OP's BIL is also sister's BIL. There's a third sister married to the man who's sister died.

Go to the Mass with your sister. Catholics do typically have some kind of receiving afterward when you'll be able to socialize with BIL and his family briefly.

I'm a little confused as to why your sister's going, but whatever. Go the Mass since she'll be there.

I don't think it matters which one you attend, as long as you attend one. Go to the one that is most convenient.

My BIL's sister died suddenly. Funeral arrangements will be a gathering one day and a Catholic Mass funeral and maybe a reception afterwards the next day.

Question is whether I should go to one or the other. I'm going to support my BIL, but did not know the deceased very well at all. I think we met twice.

Issues to consider that might help you help me decide - I'm not Catholic. Everything is just over an hour's drive, I have a flexible work schedule. My sister is flying in from the Midwest to attend the Mass, then will leave immediately after. If I don't go to the Mass, I won't see my sister.

I believe in showing up and supporting family and friends in grief, but is it inappropriate for me to attend either since I'm kind of far removed?