Anonymous wrote:Isn't it supposed to be some special number? Like a multiple of 7?

18 represents "chai" or "life" in Hebrew, so a monetary gift in a multiple of 18 is appreciated for superstitious reasons. It's not necessary, though.

Anonymous wrote:Glad to see this thread because if we are ever invited to such events, I will decline - $100? $200? $300? You people are out of your minds. Unless op is rich herself, it doesn't matter her friend (the host) is rich.

Now, when this kid gets married if op is invited, that is another story….

In the other thread on the exact same topic from last week (cited above), the vast majority of us who are throwing a Bar/Bat Mitzvah or have thrown one said that we just want our guests to come and enjoy celebrating with our family and recognize the signifance of the day for our child. We don't care about the gifts at all and definitely dont' think that the amounts some people keep throwing around are necessary or even possible for most people.

Glad to see this thread because if we are ever invited to such events, I will decline - $100? $200? $300? You people are out of your minds. Unless op is rich herself, it doesn't matter her friend (the host) is rich.

Now, when this kid gets married if op is invited, that is another story….

Isn't it supposed to be some special number? Like a multiple of 7?

Thanks to whoever posted the old thread.

Anonymous wrote:This is op- and will give more if that's what people do. But isn't a kids bday present a bit different than sending a couple off on their wedding day?

This isn't just a kid's birthday present. This is a coming-of-age thing. When I got bat mitzvah'd I studied one-on-one with my cantor twice a week to learn my torah portion, and practiced every single day of the week. I'd give at LEAST $100.

Anonymous wrote:Didn't we just have a huge thread on this last week?

+1

OP, I don't think a bat mitzvah gift needs be as lavish as a wedding gift at all. My DS would be thrilled to get an iTunes gift card, and DH and I would be thrilled to have your child and/or your family attend the event. Please know that you'll get a lot of different responses here, but just do what you feel comfortable with giving, and what your child will be happy to give, to commemorate this occasion.

Didn't we just have a huge thread on this last week?

It's more like a weddingif only your kid is going $50 is fine. If you and spouse are going and they are your rich friends, at least $200. If it's in NY or NJ at least a $300.

Anonymous wrote:This is op- and will give more if that's what people do. But isn't a kids bday present a bit different than sending a couple off on their wedding day?

That is just it, OP. Many Bar/Bat Mitzvahs these days are the equivalent (even more) of weddings in scope, events, cost and expectation.

This is op- and will give more if that's what people do. But isn't a kids bday present a bit different than sending a couple off on their wedding day?

100 minimum if you are an adult

Since this is YOUR friends kid, and not your kids friend, I would do whatever you would give this family for a wedding gift. If you would give them a $50 iTunes card as a wedding gift, then that is fine.

whats the going rate? going to a friend's kid's bat mizvah they are rich so she doesn't need anything. $50 itunes gift card or is that too cheap? flying to another city and staying in a hotel if that matters.