Anonymous wrote:A couple years back my mom got involved with an mlm company. She was pretty evangelical about it for a while but I had no problem telling her I wasn't interested. I occasionally buy stuff from her but not regularly. Anyway she has asked me in the past to host a party for her and invite my friends. I demurred but she's been pushing harder lately. I just don't know how to tell her how I feel about it. On the one hand I would do anything for my mom, but not this. I don't know. Am I wrong? She gets very prickly. And has invested too much effort to about face and drop the whole thing. Bonus points if you can give me advice to help her ease out of it.

Depends on wehat she is selling....and why not? I would tell her I will do this one time, invite your friends who will either come or not. And i would tell my friends, this is a favor to my mom, don't feel obligated to come. This is her hobby/ way to earn a little money, there are worse things. My FIL retired. He needed a hobby, and found church involvement. Now it is all he does and talks about...MLM of Jesus.

Anonymous wrote:What is "mim"? I understand that it is one of those sell-some-crap parties, but unfamiliar with the term mim.

MLM = Multi-Level Marketing

What is "mim"? I understand that it is one of those sell-some-crap parties, but unfamiliar with the term mim.

My friends really don't take well to that, so I'd just be honest.

I would be honest and tell my mom "I don't know who I'd invite; none of my friends like these parties. I've known acquaintances who've had parties and nobody in my circle showed up."

I mean, there's no point to saying yes if nobody will show up.

Sorry mom, I don't feel comfortable doing that.

Anonymous wrote:Or, you could humor her and let her host the party with the caveat you don't think many of your friends will be interested. Let her send the invites and message your friends privately to let them know they are not obligated to come and only come if they are really interested in the products (being open its MLM). Worst case scenario your mom hosts her party for other ppl who want to buy into MLM.

OP, this would only encourage your mom. Even if none of your own friends go a party you host, she is going to get the message that you were willing to host for her and even if you tell her "Just this ONE time," she is going to take one party as a precedent and put more pressure on you to do it again. It won't be humoring her -- it'll be encouraging her, no matter how much you tell her that you are only doing it once.

I would tell her that while you're happy to buy a bit of product from her when you run out of the last batch and need something, you aren't into hosting any product parties and won't be giving her your friends' contacts if she hosts one (add that latter part only if she asks for your friends' contacts for some other party since a party at your house is not going to happen).

If she complains about your unwillingness to host a party, I'd let it roll off, smile a big smile, and say, "Hey, I'm sorry you feel that way but I would never want to lead you on or give you a false hope that I'd host, so that's why I'm saying I'm not comfortable doing it."Then Change. The. Topic. Every. Time. Or gracefully remind her that "Oh, it's time for me to head out to pick up Child...." Never engage on this. Smile, sorry mom it's not my thing, did you see X on TV last night....

If she does want to get your friends' contact information from you at any time (has she tried that yet? She might), you know you must decline or your friends will be irked at best, furious at worst. "I can see how you'd like to sell to them, mom, but my friends, like me, don't give out contact information much and don't want others giving it out. Everyone's concerned about their online and phone security these days. Their addresses aren't really mine to give out." Smile, sorry mom, time for me to pick up Child.... And so on.

If she is otherwise in her right mind, doesn't dole out her money to anyone who asks, and doesn't fall for every scheme that comes along, well, I would not try to make her see the light. She's an adult. But OP, if she is elderly, and/or in money trouble and sees this as "the way out," or has health issues that cost money she should not be spending on this MLM, or if she is indeed gulllible in other ways -- Then you might need to intervene, but otherwise, doing so may only alienate her. Only you, not we, know if this MLM presents merely an irritating distraction or if it presents a real danger to her savings or health.

Or, you could humor her and let her host the party with the caveat you don't think many of your friends will be interested. Let her send the invites and message your friends privately to let them know they are not obligated to come and only come if they are really interested in the products (being open its MLM). Worst case scenario your mom hosts her party for other ppl who want to buy into MLM.

^^this is pretty much what I did when she first asked, except that I did actually reach out to the few people I know (acquaintances) who are into this kind of thing. Ugh. Thanks for confirming though that I should absolutely not give in.

Mom my friends habe talked about how they really hate this sort of thing. I know no one would come or buy anything, and I don't want to put myself out there when I already know they are not interested. I'll take some brochures and your card and give it to some friends, and Mary at work, but that's it.
** you won't actually give the brochures

Yes, you take the hard line, OP.... And your mother IS in danger of losing all her money. You know that in these pyramid schemes these ladies have to buy their inventory, and buy their way out (or in). Elderly ladies are often victims. So if you can persuade her that this is not worth her while, please do so.

Well I was clear about my opinion without being contemptuous at the very beginning. So she knows where I stand. The products are fine albeit pricy so I buy them from her.

I mean my instinct is to take a hard line but I don't think it's going to change things other than damage our relationship.

Why on earth did you buy stuff from her?

Anyway, the correct response is to scoff and say no.
As often as it takes. Don't be afraid to be contemptuous, because that kind of shady business IS contemptible, and always ends up wringing out the little sellers like your mother.

She DOES need to drop the whole thing, before she gets in over her head.

"No". That's how you do it. Her pushing doesn't matter.

A couple years back my mom got involved with an mlm company. She was pretty evangelical about it for a while but I had no problem telling her I wasn't interested. I occasionally buy stuff from her but not regularly. Anyway she has asked me in the past to host a party for her and invite my friends. I demurred but she's been pushing harder lately. I just don't know how to tell her how I feel about it. On the one hand I would do anything for my mom, but not this. I don't know. Am I wrong? She gets very prickly. And has invested too much effort to about face and drop the whole thing. Bonus points if you can give me advice to help her ease out of it.