Dude, you can't have warm, loving vacations unless the people in your family are warm and loving. Sounds like your parents are not.

Your alternative is to go somewhere extremely upscale with them. We did Six Senses in the Seychelles with my ILs because they expect to go to only really fancy places. But the villas have their own pools and the service and amenities are great, so everyone had a relaxing and fun time.

We have two young kids and only stay in 5 star hotels/resorts. I don't want to stay at some rickety beach house, to be honest. If I'm going on vacation, I want to ENJOY that vacation.

See if they will rent a villa at the One and Only in Cabo and then you can all go. I'm sure they have sitters at the resort who you can leave the kids with.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The cost isn't a factor. Our kids are 12 months and 3. We go to the beach for vacations because it's the easiest and most child-friendly vacation that both our kids like. Usually beach towns don't have name brand hotels such as the "Ritz." We usually stay in nice but family friendly hotels. They do like the beach, that's not the issue. It's just that they don't want to vacation in non-fancy places. If they were willing to vacation with us it would be a great way for them to see the kids more because it's too hard to go and visit them since my husband doesn't get much vacation time.

I have this dream of the big, warm, loving family vacations where we rent a big house at the beach and spend a fun week together. Sadly, that kind of vacation will never happen, not with my family and not with DH's either.

What about Hilton Head Disney? Very nice and a great family vacation? Or if you go to Florida, there's a Ritz, the Breakers and many fancy hotels right on the water.

Would they go to Disney? Lots of very nice hotels on Disney property and kids would love that in a few years.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The cost isn't a factor. Our kids are 12 months and 3. We go to the beach for vacations because it's the easiest and most child-friendly vacation that both our kids like. Usually beach towns don't have name brand hotels such as the "Ritz." We usually stay in nice but family friendly hotels. They do like the beach, that's not the issue. It's just that they don't want to vacation in non-fancy places. If they were willing to vacation with us it would be a great way for them to see the kids more because it's too hard to go and visit them since my husband doesn't get much vacation time.

I have this dream of the big, warm, loving family vacations where we rent a big house at the beach and spend a fun week together. Sadly, that kind of vacation will never happen, not with my family and not with DH's either.

Ask them about Disney World. Seriously. It has fancy places to stay and is designed to be very easy for families, even families with small kids.

Like PPs have said, they've made themselves clear. You should respect their decision. You should also not be stressing over their visit to your house. Have them stay in a 5 star hotel, order out, live your life as you normally would.

They don't want to ait at a tacky beach and be asked to help. They've told you that. They like fancy places. These things don't mesh with two little kids. I'm really sorry OP, but you are just going to have to accept it.
My ILS don't want to leave the house either, so I go about my routine with my kids. I always invite the ILs, but they usually don't come. It's just not practical to sit in the house staring at eachother for 5 days.
They aren't interested in doing stuff with the grandkids. It's a hard pill to swallow.

Maybe when your kids are older they can go on some exotic vacations with their grandparents.

OP here. The cost isn't a factor. Our kids are 12 months and 3. We go to the beach for vacations because it's the easiest and most child-friendly vacation that both our kids like. Usually beach towns don't have name brand hotels such as the "Ritz." We usually stay in nice but family friendly hotels. They do like the beach, that's not the issue. It's just that they don't want to vacation in non-fancy places. If they were willing to vacation with us it would be a great way for them to see the kids more because it's too hard to go and visit them since my husband doesn't get much vacation time.

I have this dream of the big, warm, loving family vacations where we rent a big house at the beach and spend a fun week together. Sadly, that kind of vacation will never happen, not with my family and not with DH's either.

OP, my family is a lot like yours. Would your parents do Skype? That's how my mother sees my kids on a regular basis.

OK I don't think it's just the niceness of the place you're staying in. I love to travel and I can't sit on the beach for a week. I actually avoid beaches. I prefer ruins, museums, historic houses, you name it. Maybe your inlaws are like that? Can you go on a different vacation instead of the beach?

You can try out-stubborning them. Pick out some place nice, that you know they would like. Tell that is what you want to do with them. Insist that they do it. Keep insisting. Refuse to let them stay with you.

Either they will give in or you will.

Not sure, but the next time they do one of their 5 day visits to you, why don't you suggest they stay in a 5 star hotel near you so you don't wear yourself out taking care of them.

Sorry, have they ever offered to pay for you to stay in a nicer place? They sound sort of selfish. My problem is sort of the opposite, the inlaws want us to travel with them and pay for it, but I'd rather not spend so much time with them. Are your kids very young? Maybe they will be more interested when they are older and can go to restaurants or the like.

You cant. They have made their priorities clear. I am sorry OP.

We have no local family. My parents live on the West Coast. We have 2 young kids. My parents are retired and travel the world. However, they only stay in 5 star hotels and they only go to "fancy" places. We only see them twice a year and my kids don't really know them. In order to see them more often, I have invited them many times to vacation with us. We usually go to the beach and stay in a family friendly hotel. They always decline, saying that they only go to "nice" places. I feel like couldn't once in awhile they come with us to the beach so they can see their grandkids more often? They can stay at a different hotel, but it really bothers me that they let the fact that we don't go to "fancy" places get in the way of seeing their only grandkids.

When they do see us, they come to visit us, and stay with us for 5 days. They just want to sit in the house, they don't help out with anything, and are very high maintenance guests. It is hard for me to do all their cooking and cleaning on top of taking care of two young kids when they do visit, especially since my husband works long hours and isn't around for their visits. Plus they never want to do anything outside of the house, so that makes it much harder to entertain them in the house all day. Vacationing with them would be a much easier and nicer way for them to see their grandkids. How can I convince them to vacation with us?