Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 13:21     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
Yes, she did this on purpose. The fact that this was the first time she invited you to Christmas in FIFTEEN YEARS is also pretty suspect.

Don't give her the satisfaction of acknowledging the slight in any way. The best revenge is to be totally above it. And next time, bring snacks!
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 13:20     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
I'd lean towards overreacting, but defer heavily to your DH. It's his mother, and if he thinks it was deliberate, it probably was. That said, nothing really to be done about it now.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 13:18     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
The issue is that the mil has known that she doesn't eat pork for 15 years. So she goes and puts bacon all over things like veggies??
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 13:16     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
I think I have to disagree. If the DH is mad, maybe he has more insight into his moms inner workings than the DIL has. The amount of pork seems excessive to me. Keep monitoring and know that you will soon have all the power when your baby is born and you can determine how often he/she sees MIL.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:57     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
There was nothing wrong with the beef, rolls, or salad. Cheeses made in the US are pasteurized. If you don't like rare beef, ask for a more well done piece. Go scramble an egg for breakfast. And if you're not halal or kosher, pick the bacon off the vegetables.

You are overreacting.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:57     Subject: Re:MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
Anonymous wrote:The ham thing is weird and questionable. For the other stuff, I'll share that when I was pregnant with the first grandchild on both sides, both my parents and my ILs thought I was crazy for not eating certain foods that are now considered no-nos for pregnant women. Soft cheeses, deli meats, etc. They weren't being mean just didn't do those things 30 something years ago. So maybe its a lack of knowledge thing rather than an intentional dig?


Yep. Had my first child nearly 30 years ago and none of these things were taboo.
In fact, I probably ate them all with both my kids and they were both born happy and healthy.
Times have changed, I know, but I seriously doubt it was intentional on your MIL’s part.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:50     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
If DH is furious, well, he knows his mom better than you. Let him handle it. I bet it won't happen again.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:48     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
Anonymous wrote:We attended Christmas dinner for the first time at in-laws. We have never been invited before and I am pregnant so we were excited to attend. MIL asked for a list of what I can and cannot eat weeks before to plan her menu. I don't eat pork for personal preference but she has known that for 15 years. Her entire menu were items I cant safely eat while pregnant. Rare prime rib, raw oysters, ham, veggies covered with bacon, salad with feta cheese. The only thing safe was the dinner rolls. Breakfast the next morning was the same, eggs with undercooked yolks, ham and bacon for the sides. What gives?? An oversight or is this something to be mad about? DH is furious and thinks this was done on purpose as a slight to me. I don't know if she is THAT crazy. But it was strange that nothing was pregnancy friendly. Had I known I could have brought something to eat. What do you guys think? The weird thing was DH said they have never had ham before.
Yup could have easily cooked the prime rib to well and asked for scrambled eggs with toast and a bit of fruit for breakfast. More than likely she didn't have a lot of dietary restrictions when she was pregnant.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:47     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
I've had 4 kids and ate most of those things while pregnant. Your diet restrictions sound ridiculous. Not doubting you, just surprised that things have changed so much.

What was she supposed to serve?
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:43     Subject: Re:MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
The ham thing is weird and questionable. For the other stuff, I'll share that when I was pregnant with the first grandchild on both sides, both my parents and my ILs thought I was crazy for not eating certain foods that are now considered no-nos for pregnant women. Soft cheeses, deli meats, etc. They weren't being mean just didn't do those things 30 something years ago. So maybe its a lack of knowledge thing rather than an intentional dig?
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:42     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
Was this issue discussed on Christmas when you simply are dinner rolls? Did DH ask his mom about it? Not directly, but asking if she had other options? Did you are DH ask to leave your portion of the prime rib in longer to cook for you?

Yes, if every single vegetable option was covered in bacon, them it seems she was being passive aggressive about something. If there were some choices that did not have bacon, it seems like a compromise as you could cook the beef longer.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:41     Subject: Re:MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
Most of those foods seem like they are pretty standard Christmas fare. Did you give her the list of what you could and couldn't eat and she ignored you? BTW - i ate all of those items except oysters when I was pregnant, so she may not have realized how restrictive your diet was unless you gave her the list and she ignored it.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:40     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
Ham and bacon are pregnancy-friendly, just not you-friendly. Salad with feta was also pregnancy-friendly. So many pregnant women on this board act like they're so delicate and can't eat anything.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:39     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
Prime rib can be lovely and tastes better rare to all those not pregnant. You could have/should have asked to put your portion in microwave or in oven for a little longer (blaming your 'uptight' doctor). Eat around the cheese.

Ham is an easy, affordable way to feed a crowd. Let it go. Please.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 12:34     Subject: MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?
We attended Christmas dinner for the first time at in-laws. We have never been invited before and I am pregnant so we were excited to attend. MIL asked for a list of what I can and cannot eat weeks before to plan her menu. I don't eat pork for personal preference but she has known that for 15 years. Her entire menu were items I cant safely eat while pregnant. Rare prime rib, raw oysters, ham, veggies covered with bacon, salad with feta cheese. The only thing safe was the dinner rolls. Breakfast the next morning was the same, eggs with undercooked yolks, ham and bacon for the sides. What gives?? An oversight or is this something to be mad about? DH is furious and thinks this was done on purpose as a slight to me. I don't know if she is THAT crazy. But it was strange that nothing was pregnancy friendly. Had I known I could have brought something to eat. What do you guys think? The weird thing was DH said they have never had ham before.