OP - I'm sorry. Obviously, your mom has way too many issues. Can't you go to your dad's for the holidays? My mom isn't bipolar but, sometimes I get a sense that she is jealous of me, too. I limit my contact with her.

OP here. I go because I love the holidays and pry every year they will change or mature a little. This doesn't happen every holiday but 9 out of 10 times. I've noticed the more I branch out on my own and start working towards my goals, they started doing this. I think they are jealous as many f theme never accomplished much in their lives in terms of education or careers.

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up for different reasons. I do walk out of the room and stick up for myself but it doesn't seem to matter. They claim it's a joke and I'm being a " big baby" but I don't think I am. They used to do this to my brother a little until he threatened my brother and he backed off.

Every family picks on each other and jokes about things but my family takes it to extremes some of the time. I'm convinced my mother is jealous because she always made angry commend about how my ex was well off and how I didn't deserve it. I think she is jealous she was a teen mom and did not accomplish anything but having kids. She has never worked and doesn't have a high school education.

My dad is the only great one but they are divorced and he lives far away. She also hates me because I'm his child and he left her. She treats my other siblings better because they are my stepdads kids.

Want to come to my house for Christmas next year? You will be expected to say how cute the cute baby is, and pet the dog when she sits near you. But if you pet the baby and tell the dog she's cute, nobody will mind. We have no illnesses and are not mean. Come hungry.

I think I'd rather be alone for holidays than hang out with that type of family.
Why are you going to see them? They're terrible.

Did you ex boyfriend leave because of how you let them treat you?

Maybe therapy would be helpful?

OP, what do you get out of spending time with them? It sounds like you are volunteering to stick your head into an emotional buzz saw. That is not a choice that you have to choose.

In families where emotional abuse and instability is rampant, sometimes on family member becomes the central scapegoat or target. Sounds like that's you. It's not your fault. But you can't change them. Ever. It has even crossed to the next generation.

The only positive choice for yourself is to limit your exposure to them. Work on learning to love yourself and try to build friendships with people who treat you with kindness and caring.

Seek Therapy for yourself to get tools to deal with your reactions and how much you share. Totally sucks and you can't change them. All you can do is detach and think of happier things. You deserved better, you are a capable person and can accomplish a lot. Don't let them get into your head. Your mom can unfortunately say what she wants and she clearly doesn't care that she hurts you. You in the other hand are under no obligation to listen. Leave the room. Don't come visit, hang up the phone politely.
Good luck. Make a New Years resolution to find tools to deal with this.

OP have they told you why they do this?

Your mom is a narcissist. They are scapegoating you and it's abuse. You need to spend some time away from them to heal and figure out how you want to have relationships with them. Get therapy seriously. It will help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your mom is bi-polar, your brother (and you) are more at risk.

I think you need therapy to put their behavior into perspective. If your mom or brother say mean things about you, it doesn't mean that you are a laughing stock to the rest of your family. More than likely, they see through the mean comments.

I pointed out my mother and brother but the rest of my siblings and their spouses insult me, too. My own 15 year old niece does it often. If I tell her not to speak to me like that, I'm immediately attacked about how she can say what she wants.

My mom is not being treated and refuses to. I'm not bi-polar nor are any of my siblings.

Bipolar can be comorbid with other forms of mental illness including borderline personality disorder. I am picking up hints of it in your family dynamic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your mom is bi-polar, your brother (and you) are more at risk.

I think you need therapy to put their behavior into perspective. If your mom or brother say mean things about you, it doesn't mean that you are a laughing stock to the rest of your family. More than likely, they see through the mean comments.

I pointed out my mother and brother but the rest of my siblings and their spouses insult me, too. My own 15 year old niece does it often. If I tell her not to speak to me like that, I'm immediately attacked about how she can say what she wants.

My mom is not being treated and refuses to. I'm not bi-polar nor are any of my siblings.

My aunts and uncles that come over are just like my mom. I'm insulted and attacked for everything I say or do for the entire time I'm there. The rest of he time they just gossip and talk ill of me.

Anonymous wrote:If your mom is bi-polar, your brother (and you) are more at risk.

I think you need therapy to put their behavior into perspective. If your mom or brother say mean things about you, it doesn't mean that you are a laughing stock to the rest of your family. More than likely, they see through the mean comments.

I pointed out my mother and brother but the rest of my siblings and their spouses insult me, too. My own 15 year old niece does it often. If I tell her not to speak to me like that, I'm immediately attacked about how she can say what she wants.

My mom is not being treated and refuses to. I'm not bi-polar nor are any of my siblings.

If your mom is bi-polar, your brother (and you) are more at risk.

I think you need therapy to put their behavior into perspective. If your mom or brother say mean things about you, it doesn't mean that you are a laughing stock to the rest of your family. More than likely, they see through the mean comments.

There is a lot going on here.

Your mom has a serious mental illness. If she isn't being treated, she should be. If she is under care, it may be time for different meds or a different doctor.

Sadly, her ability to parent well has been impaired your whole life. This in turn has impacted you and your siblings both individually and in terms of your relationships with each other.

Right now, your mother is too ill to be a mother to you. Sounds like your brother is too ill to be a sibling to you.

You are able to help yourself though. You need to prioritize your own physical health as you complete the BC screening process and your own mental health for the future. Try to minimize contact and to plan it for situations where you have an easy exit.

I am sorry, OP.

You are 27. You can choose I cut them out or limit your exposure. Go to a family gathering but only for an hour.

I'm don't know if I'm acting too sensitive but here it goes. I'm am 27, single, and have a large family. I'm always the laughing stock of my family at every holiday event. My mom is bi-polar and was a horrible mother to all of us. She is a gold digger that has never done anything for herself. She puts me down at every chance she gets - telling me I'm going to die along, I'm not smart enough for med school, I have no talent, and how she hates my annoying voice. Yesterday I was talking to my cousin about a personal issue and my mom gets mad the attention isn't on her. She starts telling me to shut up because I'm too annoying and nobody cares what I have to say. She always acts like my opinions are wrong or invalid. She pretty much has made me feel worthless my whole life but worships my younger sister.

My brother is a narcissist. He pokes fun at everyone. We do banter back and forth like a normal family but he will always insult my looks, my intelligence, and just puts me down. My whole family acts like I'm a bother to them. All of them put me down but expect the world from me. Part of me wants to cut them all out of my life because I can't take it anymore. Standing up for myself doesn't work. I don't cry or give any reaction but it still goes on.

Yesterday we were opening presents and my mom was mad I didn't get her a " better" gift. My brother told me to quit school because being a house wife is all I will be good at. They never apologize. My ex-boyfriend was pissed about the way I was treated. I fear bringing any guy to holiday gate rings or parties because of it. I am being screened for breast cancer and my mom tells everyone I'm faking it and I'm a liar.

I don't know if I need to toughen up but this is getting to me. I can't take it anymore. I am about to cut them all out of my life.