Before I had kids it would not have occurred to me to come help out either. I'm female also.

It's not like the guy has a bunch of toys or craft supplies or children's movies around the house. Now that I'm a parent, it MIGHT occur to me to come say "hey, we've got a Curious George dvd if the kids are bored." But really, what could he do? If the dad needed help, he should ask, or take the kids somewhere.

Dha needs to know that's what having kids does -- makes life unpredictable. i.e. no shower in this case. He needs to be able to roll with the punches, or it's going to be a really hard couple of decades (or more).

He also needs to know that if DHb has no kid, he's probably clueless about what dads have to do, so it may not have even crossed his mind to offer to help. I know it never would have crossed my mind to help out before kids, (I'm female.)

Dha is misplacing his (understandable) frustration on his brother in law, and instead should look to see how he could handle a similar situation better in the future.

I'm on my own with two kids for weeks on end while my dh is in another state for work. I'd have slapped my dh upsides the head if he complained about a few hours alone with them. Suck it up, DHa!!

Thank God my husband is not one of these Inept Dad types who considers it "babysitting" to watch his own kids.

If your husband needed help for 20 minutes to get a shower, he could have plopped kids in front of TV and POLITELY ASKED BIL or FIL for help.

Um, duh. Dad takes care of his own kids. If he needs help for a few minutes, he can politely ASK.

Anonymous wrote:No, DHa is responsible for the care and entertainment of his own kids. The guy in the bedroom is sick of having a house full of in-laws and has nothing to offer by stepping into the mayhem.

+1 DHa can't watch his own kids for 3 hours? No, it's not his brother-in-laws responsibility to care for his kids.

No, DHa is responsible for the care and entertainment of his own kids. The guy in the bedroom is sick of having a house full of in-laws and has nothing to offer by stepping into the mayhem.

Anonymous wrote:
Too confusing. Too many DWs and DHs, etc.

I agree.

It is silly when posters try to be cryptic like this. Better to just say "my husband, his sister's husband, our kids" than all this coded nonsens.

But seriously OP, most husbands have a hard time figuring out they need to help their wives take care of the kids without a special invitation, and many husbands (qpparently including your own) have a difficult time entertaining their own preschool wnd toddler aged kids without intervention, direction and guidance from the women (ie mom) in their lives.

Why on earth would you or your husband expect the currently childless husband of your husband's sister to magically and intuitively know that he was to jump in without prompting or an outright request, volunteer to supervise and entertain your husband's kids, so your husband could shower, freshen up, and take a break from parenting his own kids?

Anonymous wrote:The kids are DHa's and his responsibility, not his BIL's. The BIL has no experience with kids.

DHa could have asked for 10 minutes of help from BIL or grandpa if he really needed a shower but honestly his issue, if there is one, is with his wife.

Um, yeah--where was Grandpa in this? That is the father of "DHa" right?

But no---the BIL isn't obligated to help out.

Too confusing. Too many DWs and DHs, etc.

It is HIS kids for three hours and he can't handle them? My H took my kids to the indoor pool this afternoon fr 3 hours to give me a break. Google is your friend. Find some kid friendly stuff to do in the area. There is always something.

The kids are DHa's and his responsibility, not his BIL's. The BIL has no experience with kids.

DHa could have asked for 10 minutes of help from BIL or grandpa if he really needed a shower but honestly his issue, if there is one, is with his wife.

It is really up to DHb to decide if he wants to or not. These are not his children.
Had it been me, heck, yeah, I would have helped out - but without knowing the dynamics between these two men and DHb and the two kids, it’s hard to know what is best.

your kids, your problem. you'll survive without a shower. take the kids outside and run the heck out of them then feed them and put them to bed. Done.

Family A (DHa, DWa, two rambunctious but generally well-behaves kids age 2 and 4) staying with family B (DHb, DWb who is pregnant and due any day) for the holiday weekend. DHa and DWb are brother and sister and their parents are staying with family B as well. The parents usually host, but because of DWb's advanced pregnancy, they wanted to host so they could be close to home. Close family where everyone gets along.

The women (grandma, DWa - mother of two, DWb - pregnant) go out for some day after Christmas sale shopping. They leave immediately after DHa gets back from running, and he hasnt showered or even sat down, likely due to getting lost in the strange neighborhood and coming back late.

It is raining and the kids get a little antsy. DHa does his best to entertain them, but after a few hours is going a bit nuts. his BIL, DHb, has a bedroom on the first floor and can absolutely hear DHb's frustrating situation, but doesn't come out of his bedroom to entertain/help for about 3 hours.

Does DHa have a right to be annoyed? It is, after all, DHb's house and he is about to be a new dad and can do what he wants. Or should DHb have sucked it up, been a brother and helped out?