Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:59     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The throw might be worth more or about the same as SILs gifts. I'd prefer a throw -- but I'm probably not normal. Was it really ugly or not your style?


Me too. Love them. How is this less personal than lotions, which I think are just tacky to give someone.


This is a good point. Lotions aren't exactly amazing gifts. Quantity does not equal quality.



Not cheap bath and body lotions, perfumed lotions. For sake of anonymity, let's say Dolce and Gabana hand lotion, etc.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:57     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Anonymous wrote:The throw might be worth more or about the same as SILs gifts. I'd prefer a throw -- but I'm probably not normal. Was it really ugly or not your style?


It isn't. It's a really cheap one. Totally not me, and she knows it. By the way, this is the second blanket I've received from her. A few years back she bought SIL a Ralph Lauren sweater and I received a fleece blanket. I was so confused then and a bit upset. I always thought that she should gift is equally as she does her own children. Even if the shoe was on the other foot I would feel awkward. I think it's just a recipe for disaster.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:57     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The throw might be worth more or about the same as SILs gifts. I'd prefer a throw -- but I'm probably not normal. Was it really ugly or not your style?


Me too. Love them. How is this less personal than lotions, which I think are just tacky to give someone.


This is a good point. Lotions aren't exactly amazing gifts. Quantity does not equal quality.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:56     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
You should let this go. Being WAYYYYYY too sensitive.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:54     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Anonymous wrote:The throw might be worth more or about the same as SILs gifts. I'd prefer a throw -- but I'm probably not normal. Was it really ugly or not your style?


Me too. Love them. How is this less personal than lotions, which I think are just tacky to give someone.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:54     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh boy, I get this but there could be so many explanations for this. A benign possibility is that perhaps SIL has hit hard times and NEEDS lotion, makeup, clothes.

A good way to let go of things like this is to think up a benign possible explanation and then let it go. Sure, MIL could be trying to send you some message passive aggressively, but does it benefit you in any way to stew on that possibility?



Stewing on it? That's exactly what I'm doing and I hate it. The gift exchange was hours ago. I think I ruffled her feathers not too long ago. Our convos have been somewhat weird for the past two weeks. I suppose that's one reason this thing frustrates me and feels so contrived. But this isn't the first time, so I shouldn't read too much into it. But it really does sting a bit. Makes me want to pull back from her. Perhaps it's just me, but it seems like the makings of getting me and SIL into an awkward place. We get along okay at the moment. But it could pit us against one another if this kind of thing continues to go on..

This woman is showing you who she really is- believe her. Remember this version of her when she starts acting normal again; at least she won't be able to surprise or catch you off guard anymore.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:53     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Op, you think she's prickly? Maybe she thinks you're prickly.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:52     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
That's weird OP, I agree she must be annoyed about something. How crappy of her to show you in this way. Hopefully her annoyance will pass quickly, you can't really win with these types of people.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:51     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Anonymous wrote:Oh boy, I get this but there could be so many explanations for this. A benign possibility is that perhaps SIL has hit hard times and NEEDS lotion, makeup, clothes.

A good way to let go of things like this is to think up a benign possible explanation and then let it go. Sure, MIL could be trying to send you some message passive aggressively, but does it benefit you in any way to stew on that possibility?



Stewing on it? That's exactly what I'm doing and I hate it. The gift exchange was hours ago. I think I ruffled her feathers not too long ago. Our convos have been somewhat weird for the past two weeks. I suppose that's one reason this thing frustrates me and feels so contrived. But this isn't the first time, so I shouldn't read too much into it. But it really does sting a bit. Makes me want to pull back from her. Perhaps it's just me, but it seems like the makings of getting me and SIL into an awkward place. We get along okay at the moment. But it could pit us against one another if this kind of thing continues to go on..
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:50     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
The throw might be worth more or about the same as SILs gifts. I'd prefer a throw -- but I'm probably not normal. Was it really ugly or not your style?
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:42     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Oh boy, I get this but there could be so many explanations for this. A benign possibility is that perhaps SIL has hit hard times and NEEDS lotion, makeup, clothes.

A good way to let go of things like this is to think up a benign possible explanation and then let it go. Sure, MIL could be trying to send you some message passive aggressively, but does it benefit you in any way to stew on that possibility?
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:41     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
I don't think it will end well and I will probably look ungrateful.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:40     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Anonymous wrote:I'm extremely close to my inlaws. So I'm not sure why my MIL would choose to buy me a blanket for Christmas but buy my SIL at least 5 nice items. I'm a heck of a lot closer to her. I didn't expect such an impersonal gift. We all open gifts together and needless to say, I was a bit embarrassed that I received a throw while my counterpart kept pulling out nice hand lotions, cosmetics and a dress. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but she made me feel like she was sending a message. I would've felt bad even if the tables were turned. I always go out of my way to buy gifts that will be appreciated. I take the recipient into mind as well as who will open up what where and in front of whom. Unfortunately, this happened on a few occasions. I don't know what gives. But I'm ready to get out of here. As much as I love MIL sometimes some of her actions seem a bit passive aggressive.


Here's my thought. Maybe she realizes her relationship with you is strong. That's great! Have you read the other posts on here today about inlaws? Most of us hate ours. Maybe your SIL is in our camp too. Maybe your MIL realizes that and is trying to mend things and grow a relationship through gifts. Misguided, yes, but that's what I suspect is going on. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Gifts are gifts. You don't need 'em. Be grateful you have a MIL you can stand!
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:40     Subject: Re:Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
Instead of diagnosing her, ask her.
Anonymous
Post 12/25/2015 22:37     Subject: Petty yes, but I'm still bothered
I'm extremely close to my inlaws. So I'm not sure why my MIL would choose to buy me a blanket for Christmas but buy my SIL at least 5 nice items. I'm a heck of a lot closer to her. I didn't expect such an impersonal gift. We all open gifts together and needless to say, I was a bit embarrassed that I received a throw while my counterpart kept pulling out nice hand lotions, cosmetics and a dress. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but she made me feel like she was sending a message. I would've felt bad even if the tables were turned. I always go out of my way to buy gifts that will be appreciated. I take the recipient into mind as well as who will open up what where and in front of whom. Unfortunately, this happened on a few occasions. I don't know what gives. But I'm ready to get out of here. As much as I love MIL sometimes some of her actions seem a bit passive aggressive.