She is making an effort not to smoke in the house. Just stay.

My mom smoked (she died two years ago.) She would kiss me goodbye in the morning before she left for work when I was asleep, and it was a mix of smoke, soap, and coffee. Sounds horrible, but I miss it.

I also nearly threw up on Christmas Day at the sound of my MIL talking to my kids over FaceTime. She is 3000 miles away and she still gives me a headache.

I'd stay. C'mon, OP, if she's not smoking in the house your secondhand exposure is minimal, so it's just about you hating the smell. It's unpleasant, yes, but it's not going to kill you (or your child).

Speaking of smells, I hate the body lotion/perfume my MIL is wearing to the point that it's making me gag; I'm not allergic per se, it's just this particular
scent doesn't sit well with me. Still, we visit, stay in their house and I'm holding my breath when I have to come too close to her. Would love to stay at the hotel, though, but don't.

The smell of smoke is awful. I'd go to a hotel. I'm sorry. You are in a tough spot. I wish this was an easier conversation to have with MIL, but I agree with the poster who said that the conversation is DH responsibility, not yours. Tell DH to focus on the well-being of the child with asthma in the conversation, rather than the smell.

I wouldn't go to a hotel. I would just deal with it for a few days. It's family and who knows how long or short our time will be with them.

Could you just be smelling her like from when she walks in after a cig? I smoke and I know it lingers,when I walk in and it's gross. Well I'm down to 1 a day. But I wouldn't go to a hotel unless your child's asthma is acting up. I'd just deal and never go back. Make them come to u.

I would also stay in a hotel (next time, for sure). You will carry that smell home with you!

My MIL also smokes like a chimney. She mostly keeps it to her room, and for the first 2 years of DS's life, we just didn't let him go upstairs. She was offended, but that's the way it was.

For the last few years, though, we've stayed at a hotel, and while it wasn't an easy conversation for DH to have with his parents (it's his conversation to have, by the way), it was definitely the right move.

Is an FIL in the picture? If so, is this a talk that DH can have with him, to get him on your side before bringing it up to MIL? That really helped us.

Anonymous wrote:Go to a hotel.

Smokers have no right to get offended if people don't want to be exposed to their lingering secondhand smoke, particularly if one is an asthmatic kid.

This. I would get a hotel room.

Go to a hotel.

Smokers have no right to get offended if people don't want to be exposed to their lingering secondhand smoke, particularly if one is an asthmatic kid.

Have your husband say you're all going to a hotel.

If you can afford it, I'd go to a hotel. My parents smoke and I refuse to stay at their house with my RAD kid.

The lady is not smoking inside while you are there so just tolerate it. It's warm enough to open a few windows too

I'd stay.

Currently visiting for the holidays and the smell is pervasive. Day 2 & she is not smoking in the house while we're here (at least not anywhere I can see) but you can't escape the smell and I keep feeling like I'm getting fresh whiffs of smoke at random times. MIL would absolutely be offended if we told her we're heading to a hotel instead of staying another night. I've even got an asthmatic kid, which should make this an easier decision but I know she will react strongly if we leave early or book a hotel. Kid seems to be managing despite hating the smell. We're supposed to be here 3 more nights and we rarely visit because of the distance. Wwyd?