Anonymous wrote:OP again. Thanks for replying, 20:28. I'm so desperate to do something, rescue them from their despair. The mom told me her daughter's injury was overwhelmingly severe. I guess that means there is no hope short of some kind of miracle. I really wish I could ease their pain. Aside from sending food and cards, i don't think There's anything anyone can do, unfortunately. It's just so, so, so sad. I didn't suggest accupuncture, but I would if it could help.

Anonymous wrote:13:53s second paragraph hits the nail on the head. It's very easy for people to get hopes and expectations up, and especially in the early weeks and months, being realistic is important.

Your DDs friend has youth and health on her side. The coma may or may not be medically induced, and that can give some clues to outcome. Also, the nature of the injury is a factor. A single hit to one area of the head is more likely to have a better outcome than a diffuse type of injury (like a coup/ counter coup) injury, when a lot of tissue gets sheared, kind of like jello. It sounds as though she has the latter, and that may be why the doctors are not being super hopeful. It's hard to pinpoint what deficits will remain when it's a large area of brain damaged. Also, it's harder for a brain with a large amount of damage to rewire itself.

Even elderly people who have strokes can and so learn to talk and do self care again. A young brain is even more likely to rewire itself, which is the good news.

I have a friend who was hit by a drunk driver probably 10 years ago. He was in a medically induced coma for about a month. He had months and months in a rehab hospital. These days, he's back doing triathlons. Now, it's not 100% in the capacity he used to, and he has many of the after effects of a TBI- headaches, emotional lability, etc. BUT he is still able to live a pretty normal life. It didn't look like that would ever happen, had one seen him immediately post injury.

Anonymous wrote:I had a student who was severely injured. He was hospitalized, in a coma, with a tracheotomy. We were told to prepare the students for the fact that he was going to die. A few months later, he regained consciousness, and we were told that he would return, but would use a wheelchair and be nonverbal. A few months after that, he finally came home. At that point he was able to walk, and could use a speech generating device at lightning speech. Over the next few years he continued to gain skills, including spoken language.

Anonymous wrote:Kennedy Krieger Institute and Johns Hopkins.

Get her there now.

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry. My child suffered a severe brain injury and although she survived she is severely disabled. Whatever happens with your friend's daughter the family has a long road ahead of them and really all you can do is be there for them. In my experience, I didn't want people offering me treatment advice, or platitudes, etc. Don't ask how you can help, just do stuff: drop off meals at the hospital, do their laundry, clean their house (or hire people to go do that, organizing it all yourself so they don't have to). They probably are paralyzed but life goes on and someone needs to tend to it.

Doctors - and neurologists in particular - are some of the most negative people out there. They can't predict the future for any individual, so there is always hope, but it's also important to be realistic. When we were still in the acute phase we swung between those extremes, some days feeling hopeful our daughter would recover and other days just lost in a black hole of desperation and grief. There is no way out, no way to know what the future holds, no way to fix it - you just have to get through it, one day, minute, second at a time. Just be there for them.