Another reason I never want to be a runner.

This happened to me recently in the garage !

I ate two small Twix bars and took some cough medicine earlier in the day. I was bending down sweeping up my toenail clippings, my stomach growled once and before I could stand up the hot liquid shot out of my butt. I seriously could not stop it. I clenched, it didn't work. No gas, no warning, it just flowed.

Praying my husband wouldn't come outside I closed the garage door, stripped off my pants, ran to the guest bathroom and washed up. Thank God I keep a robe on the bathroom door. When he saw me in the robe he asked what was up. I laughed hysterically. Then he told me his poop stories.

Shit happens. Yes it do, do.

My sister once had to shit on the Jersey turnpike, between the guardrails of a center lane. Saturday night, dense traffic, headlight shining on her bright white ass while she tried not to shit on her white shorts.

Had a similar incident - was inspecting progress on our home that was being built. Roads weren't built yet - so had to park at the high school and walk there (maybe 1/4 a mile). At some dinner right before. It did not sit well. EXPLOSIVE incident. I sent my daughter back to the car (there was no holding it in- I was doubled over in pain). Bush defiled. My daughter still laughs about it. 10 years later. POOP happens. Roll with it.

Shit happens. If you manage to get through life without any embarrassing incidents like this then you are doing very well.

I've done this. Twice. First time was a winter run in Rock Creek Park: dug a quick cat-hole with my heel and sacrificed an undershirt in the cleanup.

Second time I was more prepared, with wet wipes in my camelback. But it was in my parents' neighborhood in a tony MD suburb, where I defiled a shrubbery. This is why the pre-dawn run is key: less chance of a clear image on CCTV.

Two caveats: I'm male, and DW tells me that my military service desensitized me to pooping in the woods.

LOL, thanks for the laugh OP. I've had #1 accidents (not while running) but don't think I've ever had a #2 accident.

Treat yourself to a glass of wine this evening, you deserve it!

It was a dream (or nightmare). Leave it at that. I had to do something like this once in Italy, up in the hills. I couldn't hold it.

Anonymous wrote:Hah! It's totally real! I did do it behind some bushes. What was I supposed to do?!

I used to do a 3.5 mile trail every day and I used to wonder what would happen if....ugh. It never happened to me, probably because I was on such a schedule with my eating and everything.

You went behind bushes. No one saw you. It was out of the way so no one will step in it (gag). It never happened.

Hah! It's totally real! I did do it behind some bushes. What was I supposed to do?!

I farted once in a barre class.

Things happen.

We just don't talk about it.

Ugh. All you can do is disassociate from that ....if you don't believe it happened, it didn't happen.

There were no woods, no tall grass? ugh.

This can't be real.

Some things are better kept to yourself.

Staying with DH's family for the holidays, and went for a run in his suburban neighborhood. On my way back i had to go #2 so badly and I am so embarrassed but I couldn't hold it. I had to squat in some poor persons side yard and get it over with! I debated just going in my pants but I didn't want to walk into DH's house with his entire family was there and smelling so horribly! Now I'm terrified that the house has video security or that a nigh or somehow saw (all the lots are relatively small). I feel so humiliated!!! I've always been sort of proud that despite running long distances, I never had this type of thing happen. Ugh!!

I debated on driving back and cleaning it, but then I thought what if they see me? There is rain coming through tonight so I'm hoping that it washes it all away!! Also hoping that they're out of town!