$10 per child/6 kids is a lot to ask someone to do. Pillows sounded perfect to me. I would not have been ok with a boy/girl sleep over at a stranger's house where you cannot easily communicate with the parents. It sounds like it was more a failure on your and your husband's part than your child's part.

I'm confused. Your daughter knew what was going on which is why she made 6 pilows. then you took over and insisted on baking and getting the bath stuff? Next time don't take over

Sounds like the pillows were the perfect gift and your DD/M knew to have 6 of them. Maybe she told your DH about the party because she knew you would try to take over?

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a question, or a point? You just plop down a long-ass story and your discussion with your family. What do you want from DCUM?

Yes, what is your question, OP?

It sounds like your daughter knew what was going on, but I'm sure the treat bags were perfectly acceptable as gifts. She had fun. It all worked out.

Anonymous wrote:How are we supposed to deduce "M" as daughter? Why would OP say "DH" but not "DD"?

I cracked the code and by DCUM standards I'm neither very bright or accomplished, so there's that.

Do you have a question, or a point? You just plop down a long-ass story and your discussion with your family. What do you want from DCUM?

Anonymous wrote:How are we supposed to deduce "M" as daughter? Why would OP say "DH" but not "DD"?

Sorry, yes, M is daughter.

How are we supposed to deduce "M" as daughter? Why would OP say "DH" but not "DD"?

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your daughter had it under control (making 6 pillows) and would have been fine taking those as her gifts.

Your panic is the only problem here.

agreed Your daughter had a handle on it but your panic is what messed it up. Does this happen normally?

The invitation was to get together with friends and enjoy each other's company. the gifts were for fun, unlike those on DCUM, 13 year olds aren't that concerned about that.

M is the daughter.
She had a good time though the gift exchange was confusing is the Cliff notes version

It sounds like your daughter had it under control (making 6 pillows) and would have been fine taking those as her gifts.

Your panic is the only problem here.

What's an M? I tried to read this, but it is way too long and weird.

I'm sick and have been out of it for a week or more. Also I cannot walk very well because I have a CROW Boot on for several months.

Last week 13 year old M received "invitation" to a Christmas Breakfast for this morning -Tuesday. Nothing written except scribble with phone number, address, date. She gave it to DH who promptly forgot about it. Nobody told me anything.

Sunday morning DH and M decide they better RSVP and tried the phone number. wrong number so M decided to look up e mail using school directory. This is when I learned of the party. She e mails asking for phone number but doesn't RSVP. I tell her she should send another e mail with RSVP, She finally tells me she is making 6 small pillows to take to the party as gifts cause they are supposed to MAKE gifts for everybody. WTH???

I panic and decide to get more information. How many going and boys or girls. She says 1 boy (host) and 5 girls.
I suggest we get to baking to give homemade cookies, muffins and turtles in gift bags. We get started at 5:30 and she goes to bed with 6 nice gift bags full of goodies.

Early Monday morning I see e mail from mother saying party is breakfast with gift exchange (no more than $10). We scramble and find 2 bottles of nice body wash, stick them in a gift bag and send M off to the party with gift bag and yummy bags.

She comes home with SIX gifts from the other party goers. Stuffed animals, candles, colored pencils, etc.
So now I'm thinking did this mother expect each child to show up with $60 worth of gifts for a breakfast party? or was she expecting $10 in total gifts for 6 kids? Very cheap gifts almost impossible to find. To me gift exchange no more than $10 means they will draw names and exchange gifts with that one other person.

I know we dropped the ball by not checking for more details earlier but honestly don't you think a written invite or evite would have saved everybody some trouble. And it turned out to be 4 boys and 2 girls. I doubt any 13 year old boy would be happy with 2 bottles of peach scented body wash! No idea how that was handled.
But she came home happy and said she had a good time which is what matters. I did sit her down and tell her RSVP is very important and should be done much sooner than day before cause boy's mother had to purchase and make food and needs to know how many are coming. And I asked DH and M to let me know ASAP about any social situations like this cause frankly, DH is out to lunch on things like this. He was trying to keep me from having to do much but it ended up I had to be in the kitchen on my feet with M for several hours.