Jewish woman here. I always dated outside of Judaism. I ended up married to an atheist (who was raised Catholic) from South America. Most of my Jewish female friends are also married to non-Jews. While my family practiced the reform version of it, I just never felt connected to it. If I had to say what religion resonates with me most, I would say Buddhism.

Anonymous wrote:I think women in general keep traditions (not religious practices) more. I'm Jewish and I knew I wanted to do Passover Seder, Jewish camps, etc but not necessarily religious stuff (like keeping kosher or joining a synagogue). So when I started considering marriage for my future, I looked for men with Jewish backgrounds so they would understand the home life I wanted. My brother, on the other hand, was focused on who was hot and fun. He met his non-Jewish wife in a bar. He never wanted to be in charge of home life but he's married with kids and doesn't party anymore. He's suddenly realized that if he wants his kids to know what Passover is, he has to do something about it.

I bet you treat your sil wonderfully! From your post it sounds like you think there are two options for your brother - hot and fun or nice and Jewish. Maybe some of the hot and fun women your brother dated were also nice and possibly marriage material?

I thought it was way more obvious than all these overly long posts.

Anonymous wrote:Women are generally more invested in raising children with religion (women who are religious that is). Marrying outside of your religion makes doing that vastly more complicated. Unnecessarily complicated IMO. (I intermarried and we make it work, but I don't recommend it.)

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Not always true. I intermarried, but we are both nonreligious, except for popular holidays. I know several interfaith couples, including one in which the DH converted and three in which the DW converted to Judaism, but most of the ones I know "make it work" without anybody converting to anything. It works well for us because we were both secular anyway. I DO recommend it!

I'm a Jewush woman who married a non-Jewish man. Only actually ever dated one Jewish guy, and he was Jewish in name only. DH is "Jew-ish," as in he respects our traditions and participates in them with us, but he didn't become Jewish, nor did I ask him to.

Of my female Jewish friends, only two of them married Jews. So, maybe we're the exceptions to the rule!

All of us are raising our kids Jewish.

I'm not Jewish, but I was married to a Jew and have many Jewish female friends. None of my Jewish femal friends even dated non-Jewish guys growing up or as young adults. It seems a mix of lack of interest from Gentile guys and the fear of family disapproval when they were younger, then the desire for a strong Jewish family life when they reach marriage age. On the other hand, my XH and most Jewish guys I know met non-Jewish females who expressed interested in dating and either concealed their shiksa dates from family or didn't care. The family joke was I was my XH second serious Catholic gf and his grandmother's second mini-stroke. My coworker grew up the only Jewish family in a small non-US town. She didn't date until coming to the US for college. She married the blond son of a convert and they moved here because there was a robust Jewish social life for families. To her dismay, her sons have all dated non-Jewish girls.

I think women in general keep traditions (not religious practices) more. I'm Jewish and I knew I wanted to do Passover Seder, Jewish camps, etc but not necessarily religious stuff (like keeping kosher or joining a synagogue). So when I started considering marriage for my future, I looked for men with Jewish backgrounds so they would understand the home life I wanted. My brother, on the other hand, was focused on who was hot and fun. He met his non-Jewish wife in a bar. He never wanted to be in charge of home life but he's married with kids and doesn't party anymore. He's suddenly realized that if he wants his kids to know what Passover is, he has to do something about it.

I think that women, in general, are thinking about the long term much earlier than men. I have lots of Jewish male friends who dated non-Jewish women all through their 20s and early 30s, and the relationships always ended. They usually married the first Jewish woman they dated after that pattern ended.

Judiasm is passed down through the maternal blood lines depending on who you talk to. If a man marries a non-Jew, most would consider the child 1/2 jewish and its fine but for many religious, the mom needs to convert and not everyone is open to it. Judaism allows conversions but depending on where/how not always welcoming.

Anonymous wrote:Women are generally more invested in raising children with religion (women who are religious that is). Marrying outside of your religion makes doing that vastly more complicated. Unnecessarily complicated IMO. (I intermarried and we make it work, but I don't recommend it.)

Agree 100% albeit my situation is more complicated. Half Jewish on my dad's side so I have a Jewish last name. Used to attract Jewish women who looked at me as more athletic than the typical Jewish guy. But once they found out my mom wasn't Jewish, I was toast. They were really particular about keeping the Jewish religious customs and both my parents were agnostics. Maybe like OP I had a thing for Jewish women because they are more urban, into culture, and generally dark haired than other women. Perhaps a stereotype but that is what I have found.

Anonymous wrote:Women are generally more invested in raising children with religion (women who are religious that is). Marrying outside of your religion makes doing that vastly more complicated. Unnecessarily complicated IMO. (I intermarried and we make it work, but I don't recommend it.)

Asian/Indian women date out of their religion way more than asian/indian guys though.

Anonymous wrote:My Jewish brother married a shiksa. She converted to Judaism.

How is this relevant?

Women are generally more invested in raising children with religion (women who are religious that is). Marrying outside of your religion makes doing that vastly more complicated. Unnecessarily complicated IMO. (I intermarried and we make it work, but I don't recommend it.)

My Jewish brother married a shiksa. She converted to Judaism.

Non-jewish guy here who has a bad habit of falling for jewish women. I want to get the perspective of jewish women here - why is it that Jewish men are way more willing to have relationships with non-jews compare to women? If 'being jewish' is passed down through the female, I would imagine that if anything it would be the opposite (i.e. jewish men wanting to date jewish women exclusively moreso than jewish women wanting to date jewish men).