Anonymous
12/18/2015 15:12
Subject: Re:Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
3 full days is a long stay
Anonymous
12/18/2015 15:10
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
Anonymous wrote:OP - I don't understand why you assume staying for 3 days = knowing that your family is pretty much coming out of obligation and is basically doing it to be nice. I think you are making assumptions and feeling badly over nothing.Anonymous wrote:OP here. The time off isn't a factor - they are continuing their own tour of my state after leaving our house. And I most certainly would NEVER say anything to them. I totally get what they are doing - as I've stated - and I would do the same. Just to be on the receiving end, knowing that your family is pretty much coming out of obligation and is basically doing it to be nice - just kind of stinks. I definitely appreciate their efforts.
+1000. The length of their stay isn't a referendum about how much they care about you or how much they want to see you. You don't know all the factors that went into their plans. Let it go.
Anonymous
12/18/2015 15:08
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
Ugh. I love my family but I don't want to spend all of my holiday / vacation days with them.
Anonymous
12/18/2015 14:52
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
Anonymous wrote:OP here. The time off isn't a factor - they are continuing their own tour of my state after leaving our house. And I most certainly would NEVER say anything to them. I totally get what they are doing - as I've stated - and I would do the same. Just to be on the receiving end, knowing that your family is pretty much coming out of obligation and is basically doing it to be nice - just kind of stinks. I definitely appreciate their efforts.
So you'd do the same thing, but it's not okay for them? I feel like you're looking for an insult where there isn't one, OP.
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:46
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
OP here. Maybe I'm projecting because what they are doing is exactly what I would want to do if it were my husband's family we were visiting. 
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:45
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
OP - I don't understand why you assume staying for 3 days = knowing that your family is pretty much coming out of obligation and is basically doing it to be nice. I think you are making assumptions and feeling badly over nothing.Anonymous wrote:OP here. The time off isn't a factor - they are continuing their own tour of my state after leaving our house. And I most certainly would NEVER say anything to them. I totally get what they are doing - as I've stated - and I would do the same. Just to be on the receiving end, knowing that your family is pretty much coming out of obligation and is basically doing it to be nice - just kind of stinks. I definitely appreciate their efforts.
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:41
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
OP here. The time off isn't a factor - they are continuing their own tour of my state after leaving our house. And I most certainly would NEVER say anything to them. I totally get what they are doing - as I've stated - and I would do the same. Just to be on the receiving end, knowing that your family is pretty much coming out of obligation and is basically doing it to be nice - just kind of stinks. I definitely appreciate their efforts.
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:37
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
Anonymous wrote:My brother and sister-in-law, who don't have any kids, are flying across the country for Xmas at our house, which is small. My parents are also coming, and we have a 1 and a 3 year old. They get in at midnight on the 22nd and are leaving at 6 am on the 26th. I totally get it - we have small kids, a small house, they have to sleep on a pull-out bed, etc. Just - it feels like they are staying JUST long enough and it bugs me and makes me sad for my mom, who I know would love it if they stayed longer.
I'm also not someone who gets bothered by people in my house, so I guess if I were, I'd be glad they were staying only the requisite 3 days.
Just a vent, that's all.
OP, they may not have kids but they're flying cross-country to spend time with you and your family at a time when days away from work are at a premium. In many offices there's a huge negotiation to get time off at the holidays - be glad your brother and sister-in-law are able to be with you instead of complaining and wishing they had more time. And please don't do what my own mother does and complain TO them about the length of their stay - that one always makes me want to say, "great! Maybe next time I won't visit at all since what I'm doing isn't good enough."
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:35
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
Do they have jobs to be at the rest of the week? Not everyone has time off.
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:34
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
Or pay for them to stay in a hotel maybe?
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:33
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
How about, you offer them your room, and you offer to sleep on the pullout bed?
They are flying across the country to see you and sleep on a pullout bed and you are complaining?
Your attitude is ridiculous.
They are flying across the country to see you and sleep on a pullout bed and you are complaining?
Your attitude is ridiculous.
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:33
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
OP here. Yes, i agree, they are trying to be considerate, and I'm thrilled they are coming!
I would never say anything at all to them, and as I stated, I totally get what they are doing. Also, if it were my husband's family, I'd want the same thing - come for three days I could handle and be done with it.
I'm just sad for my mom, and a little for me.
I would never say anything at all to them, and as I stated, I totally get what they are doing. Also, if it were my husband's family, I'd want the same thing - come for three days I could handle and be done with it.
I'm just sad for my mom, and a little for me.
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:31
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
So, they're staying for too short a time as far as you're feeling?
Sounds like, from all you've shared, they're trying to be considerate re the small house situation.
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:30
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
I'm mind-boggled. I look at this and see such a big thing - travelling all the way across the country at a very busy time - and still people aren't completely happy. Guests stay too long, don't stay long enough, they don't do this, they do do that - why are people so hard to please?
Anonymous
12/18/2015 13:28
Subject: Ugh, I understand what they are doing, but...
My brother and sister-in-law, who don't have any kids, are flying across the country for Xmas at our house, which is small. My parents are also coming, and we have a 1 and a 3 year old. They get in at midnight on the 22nd and are leaving at 6 am on the 26th. I totally get it - we have small kids, a small house, they have to sleep on a pull-out bed, etc. Just - it feels like they are staying JUST long enough and it bugs me and makes me sad for my mom, who I know would love it if they stayed longer.
I'm also not someone who gets bothered by people in my house, so I guess if I were, I'd be glad they were staying only the requisite 3 days.
Just a vent, that's all.
I'm also not someone who gets bothered by people in my house, so I guess if I were, I'd be glad they were staying only the requisite 3 days.
Just a vent, that's all.