Anonymous wrote:Dear God, you sound insufferable.

No kidding. Must be miserable to be around her.

DIL here. I think it's really sad that this woman apparently has little relationship with her own son, is trying to buy her grandson something he'd like for xmas, and you're acting like she's this big nuisance because she picked out something that YOU don't like. Why are you so invested in the decor of your son's bedroom? Why don't you ask HIM if he wants to keep it since it was a gift for him? Try a little empathy, OP.

Dear God, you sound insufferable.

Wow. Your poor MIL can't divine what's going to irritate your self-involved little self, can she? Unless you had specifically said: "Please no licensed characters." or "Please nothing except 100% cotton." (which I HAVE requested).

You thank her, put it on his bed once, and then put it away, forget about it and donate it next year.

Next year, you can suggest inexpensive and easy to find gift ideas for him (ask her if she might be interested to look at his Amazon wish list).

I'd return it. I think it's kind of wasteful to just open it and not use it or just pull it out when she's there.

Say "thank you" and only pull it out when she comes. She meant well.

I like the idea of using it as a tv blanket.

It is a bedspread not a new living room set! I think you need to chill a little bit. Although I am tightly wound, this wouldn't be something I would bother getting worked up about.

I think this is one of those things you have to let go. Let him use it if he wants for awhile. Offer it as an extra blanket on cold nights. Or when sick. Pack it away for summer, and be done.

Can you exchange it for the character sheet set instead? Or have it sewn into a sleeping bag? Then she'll feel she didn't totally miss the mark.

Whoa lady, calm down there. I too, do not allow licensed character things in my home for the most part. However, she meant well, so take it in that spirit!

Just return or donate it. Get him something else - a book or toy you're cool with him having - and tell her "Oh, I wish I'd known you were looking at a Star Wars bedspread for Jake, because I'd have told you his room is already decorated in monkeys and bananas and we don't use bedspreads. But thank you SO MUCH for thinking of Jake - we love you so much!"

Then if you feel it's appropriate you can tell her "Each time Jake tells me he wants something i put it on his Amazon wish list so when I'm going to get him a gift I can look there to see what he'd like." Hopefully she'd ask and you could share that with her.

Don't put it on the bed, but use it as a movie-on-the-couch blanket/sleepover blanket/fort-building blanket.

If she asks, say you use it for that kind of snuggle/play time, but the room was already decorated to his liking and yours.

I agree. Your overreacting. Also, it's a gift. Say Thank you and move on.

He could use it for watching movies or as a back up. No big deal.

I think you're overreacting. It will irritate you every time you see it? Really? But it also sounds like your kid doesn't like it...so problem solved.

She doesn't know what little boys like. Her son probably would've wanted something like that way back int he 70s or 80s or whatever. Fold it in a corner of his room. He can use it when you're washing his other stuff. Or just if he wants to.

Your incessant questions about her intent are a bit crazy, OP. It's just a gift. Move on.

So, tell me if you agree that this is an irritating present. My MIL sent my DS a new bedspread for Christmas. This is not something we asked for. This bedspread is covered with characters from a popular movie franchise that he likes okay, but it's not like it's his favorite thing or anything. I personally don't like bed spreads or other home decorations covered with licensed characters--fine for toys or T-shirts, but I"m not going to decorate my house as an ad for a movie. Also, his room is already decorated with a totally different "theme" (to the extent there is a theme) and décor. We (my DS and I) both really like how his room is decorated currently. I feel like this is a really odd present to send unsolicited--like she's redecorating my house without my permission. I don't want to even give it to my kid, as it will irritate me every time I walk into his room and see it. I know she'll ask him about it though. The last time she sent an inappropriate question I just put it away, and when she asked if he liked his present he just said "I love it!" because he was only 3 and it didn't occur to him that she was talking about a specific present from her. He's older now, so I don't think that will fly.
Blech -- why can't she just send a book or a toy? Who sends home furnishings to a little kid?
Any suggestions for how to handle? My husband doesn't speak to his mother except in monosyllables, so the usual "let your husband deal with it!" advice won't work.