Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses make me glad I am single. Why is it scary to live on your own? Even on your own with kids?

Once you know what a life partner is, and when you've built a family with them, it's very hard and complicated to undo that.

Been there, done that. Leaving was the best part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses make me glad I am single. Why is it scary to live on your own? Even on your own with kids?

The problem is not being with your kids alone, it's having you kids climb into bed every other weekend with the latest girlfriend(s).

At least you get some time off!

Anonymous wrote:These responses make me glad I am single. Why is it scary to live on your own? Even on your own with kids?

The problem is not being with your kids alone, it's having you kids climb into bed every other weekend with the latest girlfriend(s).

Staying was scarier than leaving. Leaving felt freeing, not scary at all.

Anonymous wrote:These responses make me glad I am single. Why is it scary to live on your own? Even on your own with kids?

Once you know what a life partner is, and when you've built a family with them, it's very hard and complicated to undo that.

These responses make me glad I am single. Why is it scary to live on your own? Even on your own with kids?

Anonymous wrote:You have to get to a point where you know that you're going to be okay on your own. Counseling might help you work through it. Talk to a lawyer too to get an idea of what to expect legally.

Agree. Also, I realized that the agony of living in a constant state of "what should I do?" was slowly killing me. I was really functional and hid my misery well, but once I decided to divorce the weight of my shoulders was incredible. I've been divorced for a few years now and it was the best decision I have ever made. I had three young kids so it wasn't easy, but the reality is, it was much easier than staying and living in (well-hidden) misery.

I highly recommend divorce. I don't say that lightly and obviously it's not true for everyone. When people were saying to me "I'm so sorry" about the divorce, I just wanted to shout "I'm not, it's awesome!" And I'm not a flippant person. It's just that as difficult as divorce is, it was way easier for me than living unhappily. There are tough parts, of course, but overall I am far, far happier.

It was scary and I didn't have kids. Having to rethink what the future would look like, feeling like a failure, the embarrassment. But there was no staying married. That wasn't an option.

When the thought of being alone forever is better than staying with your spouse. It's scary, but also very freeing.

When you are with a partner that doesn't care and zero drive to work in the marriage. I realized that I was happier without him so I made the leap. Hard as hell but necessary. Feeling suffocated and controlled but not loved was not enjoyable.

I knew it was going to be hard on my daughter but honestly- it really is better like this. I'm a much happier mom, person, friend when I'm free to be myself.

Anonymous wrote:You have to get to a point where you know that you're going to be okay on your own. Counseling might help you work through it. Talk to a lawyer too to get an idea of what to expect legally.

This is exactly what my SAHM friend of 4 kids said before she left.

I think you start by figuring out what you don't know and getting answers, bit by bit and evaluating whether present life is worth the upheaval and possible gain. Your risk averseness plays huge impact in your decision making.

You have to get to a point where you know that you're going to be okay on your own. Counseling might help you work through it. Talk to a lawyer too to get an idea of what to expect legally.

When the prospect of continuing to live that way is scarier than change.

...without being paralyzed with fear to leave that is. Especially with children involved, how do you leave your life and all you've known for years to start over?