In our family, lists are the norm but we wait until someone requests them before making one.

In my family that would be odd, however among DH's immediate family it sounds like that's the norm for the four of them. Everyone does Christmas differently, but with no kids between them it sounds like DH, his sister, and parents still enjoy sending gifts among themselves.

I have a friend whose family does this, and they all go along and get exactly what they want.

My family would laugh.

If money is tight, then just send your own gift list with things you would have spent that money on for yourself. Request a car sear or stroller or something. Or just request gift cards. This is why I think gift giving is pointless. I prefer to just spend time together and eat yummy food.

My stepmom did this exact same thing to me this year -- sent an email with a list of gift demands and then asked me to respond within a week with my own Christmas list. DH and I are also expecting our first and money is also tight for us, but at least they asked for gift cards so we can spend as much as we can afford.

Nevertheless, it's incredibly rude for grown adults to send a list of gift requests without being ASKED to first provide that list.

Anonymous wrote:In our family we welcome lists, because everyone is older and impossible to buy for and we'd rather get people something they'd enjoy. However, you are not under any obligation to get anything on the list you are sent (we call them "suggestions") and you certainly do not buy things you can't afford.

This is us as well. It's a nice jumping off point, especially since we live far away from each other and it's hard to know what everyone is wanting or needing.

We do exchange gifts with my parents/siblings, but we would never give a list unless explicitly ASKED to provide one. To just hand someone a list with the expectation of receiving a gift is extremely rude.

No lists. It would be vulgar to send a list of your demands - that is not how gifts work.

We do not exchange with grown adults.

??
What kinds of things do they put on their list?

My parents both tell me what they want, and I usually go with their list, but their items are usually under $50.

In our family we welcome lists, because everyone is older and impossible to buy for and we'd rather get people something they'd enjoy. However, you are not under any obligation to get anything on the list you are sent (we call them "suggestions") and you certainly do not buy things you can't afford.

Buying presents for parents is ridiculous in the first place. If you want to, fine, but we usually just give them calendars or photo books with pictures of the grandkids.

I vote "laughed out of the house"

Never even heard of anything that ridiculous before

My family stopped making Christmas lists around the same time we discovered the truth about Santa. Dhs family still writes out lists of their present requests. There are no children present. It's just MIL, fil, SIL and DH. It might not be a problem except that their lists are quite extravagant and we are on a tight budget especially this year, with me bring pregnant with our first. DH thinks this is totally normal. I think if my family wrote out a list of what they were requesting for the holidays, they would be laughed out of the house. So is this normal or not?