It was me, not being 100% about what I wanted, and letting his needs come first.

I am happily married but one thing I don't love that I overlooked is that he never planned any dates not took initiative with initiating fun. It was subtle in the beginning, but it was always me leading the way with that.

I overlooked it because he was traveling 1.5 hours every weekend to visit me, which indicated effort.

Anonymous wrote:When he stayed out past 10:30 at his company Christmas party.

You so wrong.

HA HA !

Anonymous wrote:WAlso bean counting. Very tit for tat.

Go make your own money.

Was moody and randomly got enraged if I so much as looked at him the wrong way.

Wanted to be with me ALL the time. Was always pushing for more, and pursued me non-stop.

Self-absorbed, talked about himself and his family endlessly, as if they were all part of some grand mythology.

Kept losing jobs and lived with parents.

Had never had a relationship and was in late twenties.

Always expected everyone to wait on him and give him things.

Massive porn collection.

Anonymous wrote:My friend's bad marriage--always wanting to do things he enjoyed doing (many of which she enjoyed, but some she didn't) and not willing to do (or being very pissy when he did) anything she liked to do.

Within 2 months of dating, she was paying his car insurance.

Always wanted to be with her. Ten years later, any attempt to have girl's night is met with passive-agressiveness, heavy sighing or accusations of cheating.

She didn't like his parents, they didn't like her. He didn't like her parents, they didn't like him.

When living together they would fight every morning and evening about who was going to take the dog out. Once they came up with a system (at my urging)-he did morning, she did night, whoever got home first did after work- they could never switch. If she had a cold, she would still be out there (and it usually was winter time) coughing and sneezing walking the dog.

Ten years later--he is selfish, doesn't do the hard work of raising their DC, horrible with money and the families still hate each other.

I'm 22:49. This is it exactly. He is so rigid and can't deviate from any system we've come up with. Even if I'm sick I'm still expected to do "my" jobs.

Being extremely upset/acting possessive when I wanted to go out without him at night with my friends and sister. Questioning our motives and not trusting us to get home safely w/o "male protection."

My friend's bad marriage--always wanting to do things he enjoyed doing (many of which she enjoyed, but some she didn't) and not willing to do (or being very pissy when he did) anything she liked to do.

Within 2 months of dating, she was paying his car insurance.

Always wanted to be with her. Ten years later, any attempt to have girl's night is met with passive-agressiveness, heavy sighing or accusations of cheating.

She didn't like his parents, they didn't like her. He didn't like her parents, they didn't like him.

When living together they would fight every morning and evening about who was going to take the dog out. Once they came up with a system (at my urging)-he did morning, she did night, whoever got home first did after work- they could never switch. If she had a cold, she would still be out there (and it usually was winter time) coughing and sneezing walking the dog.

Ten years later--he is selfish, doesn't do the hard work of raising their DC, horrible with money and the families still hate each other.

Sarcasm that I never really liked by tolerated. It became very mean-spirited and abusive.

Wanting to be with me all of the time. I was flattered but he would get upset if I made plans with friends instead of him. That dynamic continues today. Also bean counting. Very tit for tat.

When we visited his family on the west coast and he played golf with his dad and his sister shopped with his mom while I sat in their house with the dog, no car, and nothing to do.

Cultural differences from the beginning

When he stayed out past 10:30 at his company Christmas party.

Never taking responsibility when things go wrong

Ladies who are unhappily married, did you spot trouble early on in your relationship?

If so, what were the warning signs?