Anonymous wrote:Early decision allows you an 'out' if the finances are impossible

Need-based, or merit-based?

I think insufficient need-based aid is an out, but don't believe that is so with respect to merit-based aid.

My parents told me way back that my only option was to live at home and go to UMBC and if I wanted something more expensive, I was going to have to come up with the money myself. UMBC turned out to be an excellent school and I got so much out of my experience there. I went on to get a masters degree at a big-name school which was paid for by my employer. I have never felt that my state school degree was not good enough. I have already told my kids that UMBC or UMCP will be their likely school.

Honestly, if your kids want that big name on the resume, save it for graduate school. A masters only takes a year of full-time work (took me 3 years part-time).

I DID take some schools off the table for DC based on tuition; I would pay full price for Stanford but not Carnegie-Mellon

Early decision allows you an 'out' if the finances are impossible

Anonymous wrote:I think a better strategy than banning kids from applying to certain schools is to be upfront about how much money they have for college. They can apply to any school, but in order to accept it has to fit the budget. Some school give generous aid to wealthy kids, and you don't know until you apply.

But why apply to schools that do not give merit aid, which the parents know they cannot afford based on their budget?

It is not a blind exercise, it is a strategic one. Some schools give no merit aid, period.

I think a better strategy than banning kids from applying to certain schools is to be upfront about how much money they have for college. They can apply to any school, but in order to accept it has to fit the budget. Some school give generous aid to wealthy kids, and you don't know until you apply.

Anonymous wrote:If she truly applied and was accepted early decision, she is bound and must attend that school. This is why people who need aid and whose enrollment is dependent on that aid do not/cannot apply ED.

My son is a senior and we have been very upfront about our budget and limitations for college funding. He has only applied to state schools and schools where he might receive merit aid. (We don't qualify for need based aid.) One of those latter schools is a stretch for merit aid and he understands that if he gets in there with no aid, he cannot go.

So to answer your question, we have not looked into or let him apply to schools we cannot afford.

It might have been "early action." It's been a while since I applied to college and a while b/f I have to think about it, so I amy have gotten my terms confused. I wish my niece's parents would have the same discussion that you had with your son.

We knew that cost was an issue from the beginning and did advocate for schools - public and private - that there was a good chance would be responsibly affordable. Public was predictable enough for in-state. Private, not so much. The online calculators were worthless, and the aid/scholarship packages were quite varied.

This was for our older kid (now a junior, at a public in-state) and we didn't end up in a situation of letting/restricting where he applied. It was all part of the discussion. I won't be surprised if we end up in a different dynamic with our younger kid. Different personality. It'll be the same financial situation and we'll be trying to have the same discussions, but I can see him pushing more for all sorts of reasons. I do think I can keep it from being Thanksgiving dinner conversation, though!

She should file the fafsa, you never know ... And yes acceptances have been going out for a few weeks.

If she truly applied and was accepted early decision, she is bound and must attend that school. This is why people who need aid and whose enrollment is dependent on that aid do not/cannot apply ED.

My son is a senior and we have been very upfront about our budget and limitations for college funding. He has only applied to state schools and schools where he might receive merit aid. (We don't qualify for need based aid.) One of those latter schools is a stretch for merit aid and he understands that if he gets in there with no aid, he cannot go.

So to answer your question, we have not looked into or let him apply to schools we cannot afford.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are younger, but my older nieces and nephews are going through the process of college visits/applications.

One niece got into a good, private university on early decision. Acceptances/rejections for the states schools to which she applied aren't in yet. Her parents kept mentioning over and over during the holiday that they were delighted that she was accepted at this school but are really hoping she decides on one of the state schools b/c of the expense. (The private is twice the price.)

Fortunately, the state school system is pretty good, but I'm wondering if you can't afford a private (or reluctant or unwilling to pay), then why allow your kid to apply to these schools? Why not have a frank discussion about the cost realities b/f visits and applications? This kid like most isn't going to get some phenomenal scholarship and getting financial aid is pretty dubious since she probably wouldn't qualify.

Congrats but I was under the impression that private universities are not announcing their decisions until next week and mid-December

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PP what was the point of your post - besides to be nasty? Congrats....BUT.....

So you just happen to know when the acceptance letters go out for all 2000 private colleges and universities?

Anonymous wrote:My kids are younger, but my older nieces and nephews are going through the process of college visits/applications.

One niece got into a good, private university on early decision. Acceptances/rejections for the states schools to which she applied aren't in yet. Her parents kept mentioning over and over during the holiday that they were delighted that she was accepted at this school but are really hoping she decides on one of the state schools b/c of the expense. (The private is twice the price.)

Fortunately, the state school system is pretty good, but I'm wondering if you can't afford a private (or reluctant or unwilling to pay), then why allow your kid to apply to these schools? Why not have a frank discussion about the cost realities b/f visits and applications? This kid like most isn't going to get some phenomenal scholarship and getting financial aid is pretty dubious since she probably wouldn't qualify.

Congrats but I was under the impression that private universities are not announcing their decisions until next week and mid-December.

It depends on the school and the student, but many will match the in state costs through merit aid and you don't know until you apply and receive the financial aid offer.

I sort of agree with your point, OP. Maybe your sister/brother's family feels they can make it work if they choose the private school, even if they're hoping the kids take the public option? If I were repeatedly mentioning the topic in front of my kids I'd worry they'd feel almost obligated to take the public option, though.

My kids are younger, but my older nieces and nephews are going through the process of college visits/applications.

One niece got into a good, private university on early decision. Acceptances/rejections for the states schools to which she applied aren't in yet. Her parents kept mentioning over and over during the holiday that they were delighted that she was accepted at this school but are really hoping she decides on one of the state schools b/c of the expense. (The private is twice the price.)

Fortunately, the state school system is pretty good, but I'm wondering if you can't afford a private (or reluctant or unwilling to pay), then why allow your kid to apply to these schools? Why not have a frank discussion about the cost realities b/f visits and applications? This kid like most isn't going to get some phenomenal scholarship and getting financial aid is pretty dubious since she probably wouldn't qualify.