My husbands paycheck is shameful and unimpressive. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be married to a rich guy.

Then reality hits and I remember all of his amazing qualities or I remember all of the things that are lacking in me.

Poor guy ?

Jesus, way to jump off the deep end PP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your dh knows this and was eager in order to impress you. I feel bad for the guy! Does he have friends?

Maybe he was trying. He always tries too hard, and it's just to much.

Did I mention the dancing? He had to convince everyone to dance, and I do love dancing, but he's so bad at it.

I suppose he always was a dork, it wasn't such a big deal when were younger, but I feel like the standard is different now that we're in our 30s.

As for why I married him he's a nice guy, smart, decent family, we had fun together, I guess I loved him.

Very convincing...

Anonymous wrote:Take him shopping. Find clothes that he feels good in and will want to wear. Do you think you are sending non. verbal cues to him that yiu are embarrassed - so he is trying too hard and not relaxing? When my husband met my closest friends the first time he got really anxious and talked faster than usual, etc. With time that passed. Also, I am guessing you are much more aware of these externals than the others there.

I have gone shopping with him. It's no use. I've resorted to picking out his outfits for when it really matters like tonight, and he still managed to mess that up, and ended up going in the outfit I described in my OP.

He shouldn't have been anxious he knows all the people we were out with.

I would tell him that you find it hot when he looks good. Or that you would like to see him with x y and z on. If there are a pair of pants or a shirt you don't like, have it disappear. Tell him you would like for you both to up your game and present yourselves as more put together. Tell him that presentation is very important to you and that you are shallow. If you are shallow - own it.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your dh knows this and was eager in order to impress you. I feel bad for the guy! Does he have friends?

Maybe he was trying. He always tries too hard, and it's just to much.

Did I mention the dancing? He had to convince everyone to dance, and I do love dancing, but he's so bad at it.

I suppose he always was a dork, it wasn't such a big deal when were younger, but I feel like the standard is different now that we're in our 30s.

As for why I married him he's a nice guy, smart, decent family, we had fun together, I guess I loved him.

Take him shopping. Find clothes that he feels good in and will want to wear. Do you think you are sending non. verbal cues to him that yiu are embarrassed - so he is trying too hard and not relaxing? When my husband met my closest friends the first time he got really anxious and talked faster than usual, etc. With time that passed. Also, I am guessing you are much more aware of these externals than the others there.

Maybe your dh knows this and was eager in order to impress you. I feel bad for the guy! Does he have friends?

The next predictable question will be: "Why did you marry him?" Or, "is this a change from how he used to be?"

So let's see: he loves you, comes home to you every night, makes a decent income, but just doesn't fit in like Pig Pen in the Charlie Brown cartoons?

Are you saying that he needs a makeover or deportment lessons?

If he was always like this what made you fall in love with him in the first place? Are you bored, falling out of love with him or just coming under the influence of superficial friends?

Here's the thing: looking over this forum over time, I've read about drinkers, abusers, serial cheaters, gamblers, workaholics and people who never have sex. You seem to have none of these problems. Lighten up.

Sure, feel free to talk to your husband about his unfashionable haircut or clothing stains if you must, but consider getting less shallow friends and getting less shallow yourself.

This just hurts my heart for your husband. I don't know any answers, but I hope you don't make him doubt himself or feel less a man. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel a little terrible for thinking this way, but it's the truth.
It's just when I see my colleagues with their spouses, my husband seems so basic and unsophisticated. He's embarrassing.
He's a terrible dresser with a bad haircut. I've given up on the hair, but I try to help him put, but even that doesn't help. Tonight I picked out a nice outfit for him to wear to dinner with our friends. What does he do? He some how gets it dirty , and comes back down dressed in a blue shirt and maroon pants. Of course we're running late so there's no time for him to change.
At dinner he orders way too much food, and gets a doggy bag. He doesn't need the extra food he's already too think around the middle. I seriously don't know how he has middle age pudge as he works out and is only 32.
If that wasn't enough I was cringing as he participated in the conversation. He didn't say anything wrong in particular, he was just a little to eager to participate and was stumbling and stuttering over his words, and repeated himself.
I try to focus on his good qualities. He has a steady job and career that he loves, and makes a decent income, but even that is a downside as he could be further than where he is if he were just a little more ambitious.
No, I'm not contemplating an affair, and I want a divorce.
I do wonder what it would be like to have a husband that was more impressive.

You want a divorce b/c your husband is unimpressive.

OP, do you realize how shallow you are? Even if the divorce part is a typo (Freudian slip), you are still extremely shallow. You should be ashamed of yourself.

That was a typo. I don't want a divorce. Maybe I'm shallow, but it's how I feel.

Anonymous wrote:I feel a little terrible for thinking this way, but it's the truth.
It's just when I see my colleagues with their spouses, my husband seems so basic and unsophisticated. He's embarrassing.
He's a terrible dresser with a bad haircut. I've given up on the hair, but I try to help him put, but even that doesn't help. Tonight I picked out a nice outfit for him to wear to dinner with our friends. What does he do? He some how gets it dirty , and comes back down dressed in a blue shirt and maroon pants. Of course we're running late so there's no time for him to change.
At dinner he orders way too much food, and gets a doggy bag. He doesn't need the extra food he's already too think around the middle. I seriously don't know how he has middle age pudge as he works out and is only 32.
If that wasn't enough I was cringing as he participated in the conversation. He didn't say anything wrong in particular, he was just a little to eager to participate and was stumbling and stuttering over his words, and repeated himself.
I try to focus on his good qualities. He has a steady job and career that he loves, and makes a decent income, but even that is a downside as he could be further than where he is if he were just a little more ambitious.
No, I'm not contemplating an affair, and I want a divorce.
I do wonder what it would be like to have a husband that was more impressive.

You want a divorce b/c your husband is unimpressive.

OP, do you realize how shallow you are? Even if the divorce part is a typo (Freudian slip), you are still extremely shallow. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I feel a little terrible for thinking this way, but it's the truth.
It's just when I see my colleagues with their spouses, my husband seems so basic and unsophisticated. He's embarrassing.
He's a terrible dresser with a bad haircut. I've given up on the hair, but I try to help him put, but even that doesn't help. Tonight I picked out a nice outfit for him to wear to dinner with our friends. What does he do? He some how gets it dirty , and comes back down dressed in a blue shirt and maroon pants. Of course we're running late so there's no time for him to change.
At dinner he orders way too much food, and gets a doggy bag. He doesn't need the extra food he's already too think around the middle. I seriously don't know how he has middle age pudge as he works out and is only 32.
If that wasn't enough I was cringing as he participated in the conversation. He didn't say anything wrong in particular, he was just a little to eager to participate and was stumbling and stuttering over his words, and repeated himself.
I try to focus on his good qualities. He has a steady job and career that he loves, and makes a decent income, but even that is a downside as he could be further than where he is if he were just a little more ambitious.
No, I'm not contemplating an affair, and I want a divorce.
I do wonder what it would be like to have a husband that was more impressive.