Hugs op. I'm sitting here thinking about you and hoping you are doing ok. I'm so glad that you received this gift from your mom. It is both difficult and lovely. Take care op.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Well I am posting because I feel like this is sort of my diary of my own private thoughts about my mom. Sort of.

I sometimes find myself weeping because it occurs to me, no one will ever worry about me that way my mom did. Every time I traveled, every time I was working like crazy and felt overwhelmed, every time I had any sort of situation, my mom would start by saying, "Oh I have been so worried about you" when I called. My son loves me but does not worry about me of course. And I'm not married. And my dad passed away years ago. That sense that there is no one thinking about me and hoping I am okay -- it's so sad. Of course, I have tons of friends who check on me, but you know what I mean. There really is nothing like a mom.

Well, I am sure everyone goes through these stages of grief, and time does make it better. But it is so strange to realize I am no longer anyone's child. I am the grown up.

Yes, I completely understand. I have thought about this a lot, because I can't stand my mother most of the time, yet I know she gets worried about me and is always there to listen (when not accusing me of things I didn't do, or saying we're all overweight when we're actually underweight, or stabbing others behind their back, or verbally abusing my Dad). I keep telling myself that I will REALLY miss her when she's gone... but not before. Morbidly, that thought helps to give me patience whenever we interact.

OP again. Well I am posting because I feel like this is sort of my diary of my own private thoughts about my mom. Sort of.

I sometimes find myself weeping because it occurs to me, no one will ever worry about me that way my mom did. Every time I traveled, every time I was working like crazy and felt overwhelmed, every time I had any sort of situation, my mom would start by saying, "Oh I have been so worried about you" when I called. My son loves me but does not worry about me of course. And I'm not married. And my dad passed away years ago. That sense that there is no one thinking about me and hoping I am okay -- it's so sad. Of course, I have tons of friends who check on me, but you know what I mean. There really is nothing like a mom.

Well, I am sure everyone goes through these stages of grief, and time does make it better. But it is so strange to realize I am no longer anyone's child. I am the grown up.

What a treasure!


I'm sorry for your loss, OP. Best wishes.

Throw nothing away until you are in a better emotional state. Peace to you.

Anonymous wrote:Well, I got through Thanksgiving. It was a great holiday, but I felt the immense absence of my mom.

I don't think I can throw anything away for a while. I like having all these boxes full of mom. It helps.

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP.

Well, I got through Thanksgiving. It was a great holiday, but I felt the immense absence of my mom.

I don't think I can throw anything away for a while. I like having all these boxes full of mom. It helps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's nice that you're getting the chance to see this. I vote that you don't save all of it though. Restaurant menus from the 50's or 60's don't need to be saved. Save the diary from the year she had you, sure. You should feel the need to save even a quarter of what a hoarder has.

OP here. This is actually a real concern. Less for her journals than for all the other stuff. She did genealogy and wanted that saved. Of course, my family history, I would want to save. But it's literally more than 20 boxes of material. I can't make her life passion my life burden. It would literally take me years to sort through and understand.

But for now, I'm concentrating on all the sweet memories that I am unearthing.

Buy a scanner. Scan it all. Then save only the most precious items.

And put things like the restaurant menus on eBay. There are people out there who would tear their hair out at the notion of things like that being thrown away.

Anonymous wrote:It's nice that you're getting the chance to see this. I vote that you don't save all of it though. Restaurant menus from the 50's or 60's don't need to be saved. Save the diary from the year she had you, sure. You should feel the need to save even a quarter of what a hoarder has.

OP here. This is actually a real concern. Less for her journals than for all the other stuff. She did genealogy and wanted that saved. Of course, my family history, I would want to save. But it's literally more than 20 boxes of material. I can't make her life passion my life burden. It would literally take me years to sort through and understand.

But for now, I'm concentrating on all the sweet memories that I am unearthing.

It's nice that you're getting the chance to see this. I vote that you don't save all of it though. Restaurant menus from the 50's or 60's don't need to be saved. Save the diary from the year she had you, sure. You should feel the need to save even a quarter of what a hoarder has.

This is really beautiful, OP.
Treasure them and save them!
Sorry for your loss .
*hugs*

My mom passed away 2 weeks ago today. These last two weekends we've been traveling up to clean out her two bedroom apartment. Turns out mom was a bit of a hoarder.

When I first saw my mom's apartment I was thinking, "OK, I need to haul out a bag of trash a day so this doesn't happen to me".

But, the flip side is the boxes and boxes of journals and memories my mom saved. She saved everything. Every letter she received, and all the letters she had sent to sisters (when they passed away, she got them). Now, as I read all these memories (in her diary at age 15, for example, she had stuffed menus from good restaurants, her movie tickets, etc.), I think it's such a nice gift to have given me. I love learning about the sweet plucky girl my mom was as a teenager. I love hearing about her first date with my dad (also deceased). I love reading about what she was thinking about when she had her kids. It's a new vision of my mom that I can treasure. Somehow, this is really helping ease my pain.