yes. If my husband took a serious interest in how to make me more stimulated in bed, I would be more likely oblige him in his studies.

Absolutely!

Even just a little effort works.

It would have made a difference to me. In particular, if he had tried to make sure that I was satisfied each time we had sex.

The last orgasm he gave me was from oral prior to our marriage. 20 years of marriage and ZERO orgasms from him in any format whatsoever.

Since our divorce, I have finally learned what it is like to be with a giving and generous lover. Now, I orgasm 97% of the time -- not often from PIV, but that's not a problem!!

These responses would be more useful if the posters identified their sex. Also, how long married.

Anonymous wrote:more often if they were better in bed?

I'm curious how much of a difference it makes and whether or not bad sex contributes to low sex drive.

Yes.

Maybe if he dropped 30 pounds.

Anonymous wrote:more often if they were better in bed?

I'm curious how much of a difference it makes and whether or not bad sex contributes to low sex drive.

When I was married, the poor quality of sex from my then-husband contributed to a lack of desire to do anything about my lack of desire. In contrast, my fiancé is awesome in bed and when I had libido issues earlier this year, I was really motivated to resolve the problem.

It is not a function of how good he is in bed at this point. I would have sex with him more if he actually gave a rat's ass about his appearance and fitness level. He could be the best lover in the world, but I need to be attracted first to even get to that point. I make a huge effort to keep things nice and tight, but he has just let it go.

My answer would be no.

My husband isnt great in bed, doesnt help out with household chores, doesnt compliment me or show affection in other ways, but I still want to have sex with him because I have a high sex drive. And he's attractive, to me.

Anonymous wrote:Probably a chicken/egg problem here. If you want to have sex with him in the first place, that's going to go a long way toward making him "good in bed." Different guys doing the exact same thing are going to provoke different responses depending on how much you want to have sex with them in the first place.

No, no, no! DCUM heresy! This does not conform to all the generally accepted norms on this board.

There are only a few acceptable answers:

- I don't want to have sex with him because he is bad in bed/unattractive/small penis/fat

- I don't want to have sex with him because he's too beta

- I don't want to have sex with him because he doesn't help out enough around the house (not beta enough)

- I don't want to have sex with him because it's rapey

Anonymous wrote:No. The sex is great but 1-2 times per week is still enough for me.

+1

Plus, I liked his skills before we got married. They don't need to be "better." What does that mean? It's about a connection between two people, not a performance of some sort.

Probably a chicken/egg problem here. If you want to have sex with him in the first place, that's going to go a long way toward making him "good in bed." Different guys doing the exact same thing are going to provoke different responses depending on how much you want to have sex with them in the first place.

No. The sex is great but 1-2 times per week is still enough for me.

If he wanted it more, I would have it more, regardless of how he is in bed. His lack of desire is the thing that keeps the frequency down.

more often if they were better in bed?

I'm curious how much of a difference it makes and whether or not bad sex contributes to low sex drive.