Anonymous wrote:Insight from the other side:

My SIL and brother cut ties with my family because my husband did not call them from the delivery room after the birth of our 2nd child. They said since we did not have the decency to call them immediately we obviously did not consider them family so that would be the last we would be hearing from them. I was always kind to my SIL, but I guess she might have had issues with us that I was oblivious of as to make a break. My parents and siblings are devastated that our family is broken.

I miss my brother very much, and have tried to reach out but my SIL wants no contact and I don't want to put my brother in that situation. The ball is in his court.

There has to be more to this. How did they find out about the birth of your second child? Did you not let them know at all?

Anonymous wrote:Insight from the other side:

My SIL and brother cut ties with my family because my husband did not call them from the delivery room after the birth of our 2nd child. They said since we did not have the decency to call them immediately we obviously did not consider them family so that would be the last we would be hearing from them. I was always kind to my SIL, but I guess she might have had issues with us that I was oblivious of as to make a break. My parents and siblings are devastated that our family is broken.

I miss my brother very much, and have tried to reach out but my SIL wants no contact and I don't want to put my brother in that situation. The ball is in his court.

That is a ridiculous reason for them to stop speaking to you guys. Sorry pp.

Insight from the other side:

My SIL and brother cut ties with my family because my husband did not call them from the delivery room after the birth of our 2nd child. They said since we did not have the decency to call them immediately we obviously did not consider them family so that would be the last we would be hearing from them. I was always kind to my SIL, but I guess she might have had issues with us that I was oblivious of as to make a break. My parents and siblings are devastated that our family is broken.

I miss my brother very much, and have tried to reach out but my SIL wants no contact and I don't want to put my brother in that situation. The ball is in his court.

When my child's life was put in danger by being in a car driven by a relative that ODed immediately after stepping out of the car. Actually not even then, but the next day when he threateningly refused to acknowledge that he had a problem and insisted that we get back in the car. We did not. After much very scary arguing, we went different ways. This was less than one day after arriving halfway around the world to visit him. Such a long life of this, I'm over it.

Final straw was when my asshole brother started talking smack about my dad ("what kind of father does this or that?") two days after my dads funeral. He said all this to my mom. She damn near jumped down his throat (rightly so).

If someone doesn't have common decency (among other things), I'm done. That was about a year and a half ago.

There were many things, perhaps worse than this. But I had 'enough' when this family member started telling me that other family members didn't care about me (not true), and that they were the only person in the family that cared about me (also not true).

MY SIL was having an epidose, she would CC all of our relatives on nasty emals she sent mso she would send me an email stating that I a slut who slept with dozens of men, that I owe her everything and would be nothing without her.
She cc or forward these to everyone.

Anonymous wrote:It was never just one thing... I just finally realized that life is too short and I didn't have time for the drama. That was 15 years ago. I think about it sometimes, but have no regrets.

This about sums it up for me. Given, there were a few things that acted more like catalysts (think drunken phone calls at 2 in the morning to berate me for some perceived slight), it was really the build up that did it.

Mostly, I realized the only miserable person in the equation I could help was me - my mother was just being her toxic self and I realized she deeply got joy out of it in her own sick way. 20 years ago now, and hardest and best decisions I've ever made. She gave me enough reasons to need therapy from what she did or allowed to happen during my childhood - why would I continue to give her the rest of my life when, as an adult, I finally had a choice in the matter ?

Yes. Their last visit out here. We were supposed to meet up four times. They were late three of those times. One time after we met for breakfast they were heading off to do something with other relatives outdoors and I was giving them easy directions to a drugstore to pick up sunscreen. As they're leaving my father said, "I guess you could come if you want." Wow, thanks for making me feel welcome and wanted. They spent more time with cousins than their adult children.

They would ask me questions and then disregard my answers. I'd ask questions and they wouldn't give me straight answers. I just got nothing positive out of the visit at all.

DH's sibling gave me and DH the silent treatment at family gatherings for years (he felt we slighted his mother) and we stupidly kept on trying to be cordial. DH decided at one point to stop trying and no longer is in contact with that sibling.

My step-sister went stone cold on me when I was going through a divorce. Our parents married when we were both teens - they were both divorced when they met each other - and we were close like real sisters through our 20's and 30's. Apparantly she disapproved of my decision to end my marriage.
She basically stopped calling, just like that. Oddly, she was aware that my ex was abusive and a drinker - she picked up on this without me telling her years before the divorce.
Going through the divorce was painful of course. But being cut off by a family member because of it nearly put me over the edge. She (sort of) reached out a couple of years later - it was tough for us to avoid each other at family functions so my guess is she felt she had to make amends. I was too hurt though. I made no effort to reconnect with her. It is too late now, the relationship is damaged beyond repair. Sad.

When my mother started jeopardizing our careers and children, I was done. She began contacting our employers and children's schools to talk bad about us. All because she was mad that we didn't visit for Thanksgiving. Seriously.

When I withdrew because of that, she got more vicious, even threating to call child services and telling family members atrocious lies about us and our children.

At that point I put a protective wall around my family and she lost us for good. Not risking our lives to the whims of a crazy person, sorry. I still miss her and wish things were different.

It was never just one thing... I just finally realized that life is too short and I didn't have time for the drama. That was 15 years ago. I think about it sometimes, but have no regrets.

there wasn't one. just one day I blocked their number on my cell phone cause I didn't want to deal with them for a couple days. Never felt the urge to unblock. I think it's been about 6 months now...? Haven't missed them. My life has been more pleasant.

Was there one thing that finally made you say "enough" and cease a relationship with this person?