Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 15:24     Subject: When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't take no for an answer. Lived in the south for 5 years so my husband could do his PhD. Traveled back to dc every chance I got. Constantly talked about moving back. Like every single day . This was super important to me. I really believe location matters so much for me personally. This is a tricky matter though. Good luck!


So your method was to nag your husband every single day like a child rather than act like an adult and equal partner.


Where do you get the judgment of PP from? She didn't act like a child; she made it clear that she wanted to move back to DC after her husband was done with his PhD. And talk about being an "equal partner"; she moved to the south and lived in a place she HATED for FIVE YEARS as a sacrifice to her husband's career. Your judgment is misplaced.


She just stated that she talked about it every day. Every day for five years. He should not have put up with it and she should have put on her big girl pants and realized it is not all about her.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 15:20     Subject: Re:When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:What suburb of Atlanta? Just curious.


Walton County, not going to be more specific than that. There are clearly nice places like, say, Sandy Springs.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 15:15     Subject: Re:When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It depresses me to no end that I will spend my entire adulthood in a place I dislike so much.


This happened to my sister (outer suburbs of Atlanta, which, gag & puke). But she wasn't thoughtful on the front end about the choices and decisions and is now stuck, because uprooting the family (jobs, children) is a huge challenge. Redneckistan.


WOW prejudice much!


What, does that sound like nirvana to you? Endless crap subdivisions, interspersed with trailer parks, some random farms (not yet subsumed) and strip malls...non-stop congestion for your ambience, and pseudo-religious bigotry and willfull ignorance for your cultural offerings (plus any corporate chain culinary offering you like). Just lovely. Or are you a "relativist" who believes all cultures are subjectively equal?

I'm PP who said we compromised; DW tried to get me to move to a part of NoVa (drive-till-you-can-buy outer edge) exactly like this, because it's closer to her work, with zero regard for my commute. NFW. My solution was live apart and see each other on the weekends; she compromised then.


What suburb of Atlanta? Just curious.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 15:05     Subject: When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
"hate" is a ridiculous way to live one's life
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 14:07     Subject: Re:When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:It's a problem. And it is how I wound up living here.

It depresses me to no end that I will spend my entire adulthood in a place I dislike so much.


Yes, I'm here too bec DH's job is only here. I was okay with the trade off bec I planned to be a SAHM. But then we hit infertility & ended up child free. Rather ironic.

So I tried, and I've made friends, and the area has grown on me. But it's not where I'd choose to live if I had my druthers. I guess after infertility, the idea that you can always control your life, & get everything you want, seems sweetly naive.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 13:50     Subject: Re:When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It depresses me to no end that I will spend my entire adulthood in a place I dislike so much.


This happened to my sister (outer suburbs of Atlanta, which, gag & puke). But she wasn't thoughtful on the front end about the choices and decisions and is now stuck, because uprooting the family (jobs, children) is a huge challenge. Redneckistan.


WOW prejudice much!


What, does that sound like nirvana to you? Endless crap subdivisions, interspersed with trailer parks, some random farms (not yet subsumed) and strip malls...non-stop congestion for your ambience, and pseudo-religious bigotry and willfull ignorance for your cultural offerings (plus any corporate chain culinary offering you like). Just lovely. Or are you a "relativist" who believes all cultures are subjectively equal?

I'm PP who said we compromised; DW tried to get me to move to a part of NoVa (drive-till-you-can-buy outer edge) exactly like this, because it's closer to her work, with zero regard for my commute. NFW. My solution was live apart and see each other on the weekends; she compromised then.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 12:56     Subject: When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't take no for an answer. Lived in the south for 5 years so my husband could do his PhD. Traveled back to dc every chance I got. Constantly talked about moving back. Like every single day . This was super important to me. I really believe location matters so much for me personally. This is a tricky matter though. Good luck!


So your method was to nag your husband every single day like a child rather than act like an adult and equal partner.


Where do you get the judgment of PP from? She didn't act like a child; she made it clear that she wanted to move back to DC after her husband was done with his PhD. And talk about being an "equal partner"; she moved to the south and lived in a place she HATED for FIVE YEARS as a sacrifice to her husband's career. Your judgment is misplaced.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 12:42     Subject: When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't take no for an answer. Lived in the south for 5 years so my husband could do his PhD. Traveled back to dc every chance I got. Constantly talked about moving back. Like every single day . This was super important to me. I really believe location matters so much for me personally. This is a tricky matter though. Good luck!


So your method was to nag your husband every single day like a child rather than act like an adult and equal partner.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 12:40     Subject: Re:When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It depresses me to no end that I will spend my entire adulthood in a place I dislike so much.


This happened to my sister (outer suburbs of Atlanta, which, gag & puke). But she wasn't thoughtful on the front end about the choices and decisions and is now stuck, because uprooting the family (jobs, children) is a huge challenge. Redneckistan.


WOW prejudice much!
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 12:38     Subject: Re:When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:It's a problem. And it is how I wound up living here.

It depresses me to no end that I will spend my entire adulthood in a place I dislike so much.


I am in a similar boat. My tactic for dealing with it is to travel to other places as much as possible, to have honest conversations with my spouse about long term goals for our life, and to plan to move once the kids finish school. Hopefully with my spouse, but alone if necessary until spouse could join in retirement. Which seems odd to say, but the thought of living here the rest of my life is far more damaging to my mental health then the thought of a stint with a long distance marriage.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 12:06     Subject: Re:When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
Anonymous wrote:It depresses me to no end that I will spend my entire adulthood in a place I dislike so much.


This happened to my sister (outer suburbs of Atlanta, which, gag & puke). But she wasn't thoughtful on the front end about the choices and decisions and is now stuck, because uprooting the family (jobs, children) is a huge challenge. Redneckistan.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 11:59     Subject: Re:When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
It's a problem. And it is how I wound up living here.

It depresses me to no end that I will spend my entire adulthood in a place I dislike so much.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 11:57     Subject: When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
I wouldn't take no for an answer. Lived in the south for 5 years so my husband could do his PhD. Traveled back to dc every chance I got. Constantly talked about moving back. Like every single day . This was super important to me. I really believe location matters so much for me personally. This is a tricky matter though. Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 11:57     Subject: When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
We compromised and picked a place neither of us is crazy about but which makes the situation bearable for both. It's been better, ultimately, than expected.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2015 11:52     Subject: When one of you loves living somewhere and the other person hates the area
What eventually happened to rectify the situation or did you just suck it up for a while? Need to keep the location confidential.