2-3 times a year. I only wish they would stay in a hotel and endlessly bitch about every dime they have to spend to get here. And we can't go anywhere while they are here because they refuse to rent a car and with the car seats we cannot fit another person I our car beyond us and the 2 kids.

Once a year and they stay with us. This may decrease as my parents health is failing. Your arrangement sounds great.

Do you work? Are the kids in preschool or daycare? Of not, then I don't get what is so horrible about this arrangement.

My husband's family rarely if ever visits with us. Their budget is not unlimited. Then my BIL and his kids had to move in, so there goes more money and time. They were coming to us maybe once a year, and ONLY them. If we want to see any more of the family, we have to go there. And now my FIL is dying.

Be thankful for parents who can easily travel.

Op, more important is the amount of time spent with you when they come. They are free to travel to any city they want. I assume they like where you live - maybe they have lived there before? Encourage them to dig-in and establish their own routine when they come. Fine to set boundaries/expectations. No reason to drop everything when they come. What is reasonable to you? Seeing them every other day for a meal? Explore what would make this feel right, and works towards that.

My mom has a 3-month limit for how long she can go, she we usually see her/my parents every 2-4 months. Mostly she comes to us, but we do the cross-country flight once a year. I find 3 months to be about exactly right.

I grew up extremely close - geographically and emotionally - to both sets of my grandparents, so I find it pretty gut-wrenching to be so far away from my parents. If they are paying and staying at a hotel, I would welcome their visits every 2-3 months.*

*Caveat - if having your parents (or his!) around causes tension in your relationship with your husband, that is something you should address head on to see if you can find the root and a solution.

There is only one parent who visits in our family and he comes every 8-10 weeks or so. He stays with us and just rolls with our usual routines. We go there 2x a year.

I'm sure there is more to it if OP is unhappy with the situation, but there are a lot of folks who would love to be in OP's position. It's a pretty good deal. When I was a kid, my grandparents and extended family sort of dominated our lives -- they lived a 2 hour drive away and someone made the drive at least every other weekend. It felt like way too much of a good thing.

But now almost everyone is dead and I'd give anything to have the option to hop in the car for a visit. That's not a guilt trippy thing, just a perspective thing. I never envisioned that my parents would be gone so soon.

My ILs want to see the kids frequently since they're young and growing and changing quickly and they want to be a part of their lives. If we don't have plans to go to see them (usually 3-4 times a year) then they come to stay with us for 5-7 days at least every 8 weeks.

My parents live in Seattle and we only see them once or twice a year. I'd love to see them every other month!

They are flying out and paying for it. Good for them. What great grandparents you have.

I don't see the problem if they're staying at a hotel.

Anonymous wrote:They pay their own way and stay at a hotel and you're complaining about what exactly?

+1

I mean, ok, yes, more than a week is kind of long. But! If you can keep up with your regular life and include them in it, it doesn't have to be so disruptive.

Perhaps talk with them about shorter visits just covering one long weekend.

My parents also are a two-hour flight away, but they (and we) usually make the 10-hour drive rather than flying. (Mom sometimes flies by herself.) When my family drives, we usually stay overnight in a hotel on the way there and on the way back, but my parents drive straight through.

My parents together come out to see us about 2-3 times a year, staying for a long weekend or maybe 5 days tops, at our house. My mom comes by herself more frequently as she's fully retired and likes to travel more. (Dad's a homebody.)

We travel to see them about twice a year.

If they stay in a hotel when they visit, I don't think that frequency/duration is too bad, though maybe you could get some of those stays down to a long weekend rather than a week?

Have you thought about driving to see them occasionally? It's not that bad, and that may "satisfy" their needs a bit more and result in less frequent visits, if it's too much for you.

How often does your spouse's family visit?

They pay their own way and stay at a hotel and you're complaining about what exactly?

3-4 times a year for long weekends. Then we go to them once and meet somewhere else for vacation once a year.

We have two small children and don't want to fly much with them unless necessary. My retired patents have unlimited money and time and want to fly out to see us at least every other month. I think it's a bit much especially since they stay for more than a week (at a hotel).