I can't believe they named one of their kids Jesse when his wife's name is Bessie. Rhyming names sound ridiculous.

Yeah, this really resonated with my husband, in a way a lot of this stuff doesn't.
We're at the tail end of the long grey years, and I'm thrilled to see them come to a close. Because they have been awful and socially isolating and....tiring.
I almost don't care what happens this cycle, I just want this whole process firmly behind me. I'm ready for whatever is next,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't find it the least bit helpful. "We had issues, we had plenty of money, we spent it and had two kids, the end." That's great - for you. Pretty textbook.

This is getting into Pain Olympics territory. A person can only write about their experience if they didn't have plenty of money and treatment didn't work? If someone comes out the other side with a happy ending, they should just shut up?

It probably didn't feel pretty textbook for them when they were going through it.

Well, you have to remember that bc he succeeded, he has the luxury of being cavalier about it. It's not exactly written for people still fighting infertility. Maybe that's why it's confusing.

I don't think he sounds cavalier. I think he's coming from a different perspective. He's a guy and he's on the other side. It's a different point of view and for some might be hopeful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't find it the least bit helpful. "We had issues, we had plenty of money, we spent it and had two kids, the end." That's great - for you. Pretty textbook.

This is getting into Pain Olympics territory. A person can only write about their experience if they didn't have plenty of money and treatment didn't work? If someone comes out the other side with a happy ending, they should just shut up?

It probably didn't feel pretty textbook for them when they were going through it.

Well, you have to remember that bc he succeeded, he has the luxury of being cavalier about it. It's not exactly written for people still fighting infertility. Maybe that's why it's confusing.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't find it the least bit helpful. "We had issues, we had plenty of money, we spent it and had two kids, the end." That's great - for you. Pretty textbook.

This is getting into Pain Olympics territory. A person can only write about their experience if they didn't have plenty of money and treatment didn't work? If someone comes out the other side with a happy ending, they should just shut up?

It probably didn't feel pretty textbook for them when they were going through it.

I get it that if you are in the middle of treatment, this probably seems trite. But I think it's a good window on what it feels like to look back on the process.

I am someone who went through hell to get my two kids as it sounds like this guy did with his wife. The phrase "long, gray years" are a good description. And he's right, you get to the end and you lose some perspective. Your kids are annoying and overwhelming like anyone else's kids. And you move on. But it's always a part of who you are and you are profoundly grateful in a way that people who had kids easily probably never really feel.

In some way, I would think this would give people hope. Whatever your outcome is, you too will lose perspective on some level when you get to the end of your journey. And yes, I understand that for some people that journey is longer and for some people the end isn't two kids or even one kid. But I do remember when I was in the thick of things, I hoped and prayed for some peace and that some day it wouldn't be so all-consuming and I wasn't sure it was possible. But it is.

Good luck to all.

Thanks for sharing OP. Hugs to you back.

I feel like the author was so close to getting it right, but to me it comes across as a little goofy and frivolous. At least he was brave enough to put it out there!

I didn't find it the least bit helpful. "We had issues, we had plenty of money, we spent it and had two kids, the end." That's great - for you. Pretty textbook.

That's cool. Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:He sounds unrealistically cheery.

He's a sports columnist with a formula, and a little sentimental.
Nonetheless, I thought it was interesting to hear a man's voice on infertility. (And I'm usually an advocate of hearing more women's voices.) It could reach men (our bosses and fathers and friends and co-workers) who might not normally consider the emotional implications of infertility.

And I thought the part about the empty room was particularly poignant. Since we have one of those in our home, too.

He sounds unrealistically cheery.

Thanks for sharing that.

This is by someone who came out the other side, but I thought some of you still in IF hell might want to read this
http://www.wsj.com/articles/adventures-in-fertility-1446231687

Hugs to all of you on what was my least favorite holiday while struggling for three years with IF.