Anonymous wrote:Thank you for your response, I'm so confused and getting everything second hand because I (granddaughter) live out of state of my grandmother. Two local family members have declined, 1 is deemed unsuitable because she previously had POA and just took grandmothers money and assets, 1 is unsuitable because he is an addict and is homeless, and 1 is my father who is unemployed and lives in another state. A cousin stepped forward but courts are saying she is conflict of interest because she lives in one of my grandmothers properties rent free. I visited grandmother this past weekend and the nursing home she was recently placed in and fell in love with the place from the residents, staff, vibe. She is getting the best care. My concern with state appointment is that she will have to be moved. And also as you said, when we were there she wanted sunglasses, a light jacket, warmer clothes etc. Which we went out and got for her but if in the future she needs something, will they even care to tell me? I have no problem purchasing these items for her and told everyone I could at the nursing home to call me if she needs something, and I would overnight it. I just don't want her to be moved from this amazing facility. She played bingo and sat by their garden all weekend and was genuinely having fun for the first time in a long time.

Guardianship gives you the right to manage her money and make decisions such as medical. If she was those things, the gov't or nursing home most likely will say no. We are going through this now as the nursing home took over payee for social security without consulting us. We said she needed XX, XX, XX and they said no. They will not pay her medical, dental or other bills and are holding her personal care funds (a whopping $77 a month). I do not see how a court can deny your cousin for living in a house for free if this was approved by your grandmother years ago when she was mentally able (isn't it better to pass a house on to family). The nursing home may tell you and you can then purchase it with your funds but we found the nursing home wants absolutely minimal amount of stuff and has clearly stated that they may only have 5 outfits. I ask all the time what she needs and am told she is fine. She had on a filthy sweatshirt (she had others) she loved and it was beyond cleaning. I just replaced it with the same one not telling them. My relative has a lot more (we did a shopping spree prior to placement) as well as many other things I purchased. We had someone take advantage of her before. She will not be moved from the facility in less she or medicaid does not pay or there is a extreme situation. They are two separate issues. In theory if the state takes guardianship, yes they can move her, but why would they as that takes more effort than most would want to do. For you grandma's sake, take guardianship. If you are not guardian then you have no rights to say about her care. Most nursing homes, or at least the one we are dealing with, is unwilling to work with family in less you have guardianship or power of attorney. The tricky part is the court piece as you are out of state.

Thank you for your response, I'm so confused and getting everything second hand because I (granddaughter) live out of state of my grandmother. Two local family members have declined, 1 is deemed unsuitable because she previously had POA and just took grandmothers money and assets, 1 is unsuitable because he is an addict and is homeless, and 1 is my father who is unemployed and lives in another state. A cousin stepped forward but courts are saying she is conflict of interest because she lives in one of my grandmothers properties rent free. I visited grandmother this past weekend and the nursing home she was recently placed in and fell in love with the place from the residents, staff, vibe. She is getting the best care. My concern with state appointment is that she will have to be moved. And also as you said, when we were there she wanted sunglasses, a light jacket, warmer clothes etc. Which we went out and got for her but if in the future she needs something, will they even care to tell me? I have no problem purchasing these items for her and told everyone I could at the nursing home to call me if she needs something, and I would overnight it. I just don't want her to be moved from this amazing facility. She played bingo and sat by their garden all weekend and was genuinely having fun for the first time in a long time.

It is the option of last resort. If you allow it, you have absolutely no say in the care your loved one is receiving. You have no control over the money, medical care or overall care. We are in a situation with a nursing home and they are not respecting our choices nor providing adequate care. They are upset that we are stepping in to get needs met. They even went so far as taking all the social security money and their reason was... well, we can... needless to say, we're headed to guardianship and working with social security to address it. If they had guardianship, we'd have no say what so ever. Nursing homes want easy. After they took the money, they are refusing to purchase our family member the needed items and pay her medical bills. They claim its our responsibility when it is theirs as the payee. Its a Make demands... forget it. If there is no family or friends to do it, then yes, the state takes over but its not a good option. If you are not willing, just be prepared to have no say in the care your family member is receiving.

Subject says it all! I've seen a lot of posts lately on elder care and guardianship and everyone seems opposed to state appointed guardian's. I wanted to see what the pros and cons are as my family is facing this as well. Courts are leaning towards state appointment due to lack of interest or lack of suitable family candidate. TIA!