Anonymous wrote:He's retiring in a few months. It can wait. It's not like your baby won't ... still be a baby in a few months. And hell, in 3-4 months the baby will be able to hold her head up, be more interactive, etc. Newborns are boring.

A thousand times this.

OP, I know you're hurt, but I suspect this is really not about you. Let it go. Appreciate your baby's grandpa on his own terms. It's fine.

Why do you think he should do this? Are they going to play golf? Watch a football game together? Go out as drinking buddies? NO. He has to drive 5 hours to see a boring sleeping and/or crying infant? I don't blame him! Believe me,OP,yiu are the only person in the world who thinks your offspring is the most fascinating human being ever born.

He can see the baby in a few months. Some people are just not crazy about newborns. And you sound a little dramatic when you say you're asking for "just a few days to be part of the kids life." Visiting when you want him to visit is not the only way he can be a part of the child's life.

Congratulations on your child. I hope this all works out and grandfather and grandkid have a wonderful relationship for many years.

Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm in the minority: I think it's weird. But maybe he's enjoying the end of his career. Hopefully he'll spend a lot of time with the grandkid when he retires!

I also think it's weird and disappointing, but not unexpected given who he is. No way in hell would I schlep my newborn to see him though-that long of a drive isn't worth the risk and neither is flying during flu season. I know it hurts but is his loss. Enjoy your baby!

I understand your feelings. I have an 82 year old father who is still working. But they are not going to change.

Anonymous wrote:My father (DD's grandfather) refuses to take off work to meet his new grandchild. He lives about 5 hrs away so would need to take some days to drive. It's his ONLY grandchild.

Dad is doing more than fine financially. Keeps bragging that "he will be rich in retirement"" since he saved every penny. Has over 6 months of vacation saved because he never takes off --ever. And is retiring in a few months. He works a civil servant job with a very generous work/life balance philosophy-- one that he has never taken advantage of, even in emergencies.

How do I convince him that meeting your only grandchild warrants 3 days off work. I'm not asking for weeks, just a few days to be part of the kids life.

Too much to ask?

So... I'm confused. If he's never used this generous policy, even for an emergency before, why do you think he will suddenly change, especially at the end of his career?

Some people, especially men of the older generation view work as their "purpose" and have a very strong work ethic. I think more people should have it, really.

Also, some unions have added financial benefits at retirement for not utilizing time off policies/ sick days. Could be be maximizing that? Sounds like he has banked vacation days. You should be happy that he has sound finances for his future.

Grandchild will be around ... Well.. Probably will outlive him. Let him finish off his career and then visit. If it's really important to you, take grandchild to see him. No one should dictate someone else taking time of work, no matter the reason.

People live a lot longer in retirement now. Maybe he wants to be extra sure to have enough saved to pay for his care so that he doesn't become a burden to his children?

I guess I'm in the minority: I think it's weird. But maybe he's enjoying the end of his career. Hopefully he'll spend a lot of time with the grandkid when he retires!

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you take the grand kid to visit him?

+1

Yes, too much too ask. Invite him and leave him be. He will meet the baby in a few months.

Could he have a health issue preventing him from travelling, of not feel confident driving?

My dad refused to travel to see me when he was ill because he didn't want me to think he was too bad. He kept going on about needing a passport.

He's retiring in a few months. It can wait. It's not like your baby won't ... still be a baby in a few months. And hell, in 3-4 months the baby will be able to hold her head up, be more interactive, etc. Newborns are boring.

Why don't you take the grand kid to visit him?

It may be too much to ask of him. Don't take it personally. He doesn't think the way you do. Sorry.

My father (DD's grandfather) refuses to take off work to meet his new grandchild. He lives about 5 hrs away so would need to take some days to drive. It's his ONLY grandchild.

Dad is doing more than fine financially. Keeps bragging that "he will be rich in retirement"" since he saved every penny. Has over 6 months of vacation saved because he never takes off --ever. And is retiring in a few months. He works a civil servant job with a very generous work/life balance philosophy-- one that he has never taken advantage of, even in emergencies.

How do I convince him that meeting your only grandchild warrants 3 days off work. I'm not asking for weeks, just a few days to be part of the kids life.

Too much to ask?