Anonymous wrote:Honestly, it sounds like you're being really unfair to your husband, and he may be resentful because you're controlling a major life decision.

OP here. How is this unfair to my husband? I'm the one who has to deal with the side effects of IVF treatment and the discomforts of pregnancy. My perspective is that we have one healthy child, which is wonderful. While it would have been wonderful to conceive naturally, we are now officially in secondary infertility and are facing an infertility issue (low ovarian reserve) that may be very difficult to overcome. I don't want to put my body through taking hormones and the physical stresses of an IVF cycle, though I need to do more research and I might consider IVF with minimal hormones. Though I have read that the success of natural cycle IVF is much lower than with full IVF.

DOR with secondary infertility poster here. Really think you need to take a deep breath and get educated before coming to any decisions. Honestly, it sounds like you're being really unfair to your husband, and he may be resentful because you're controlling a major life decision. On the one hand, you definitely have to be 100% committed before doing full stim IVF. On the other hand, with DOR you may be better off with low or no stim (natural cycle) IVF, which is less involved and has no cancer risk (not there is a very high risk from full stim IVF).

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I haven't heard of that type of IVF. I'm just scared of hormones due to all the reproductive cancers in my family tree. I feel like we should be grateful for having one child, and if we can't conceive naturally then we should just be content with one. My husband does not agree with that perspective at all and wants to trudge ahead with IVF treatments. I would be willing to try something with minimal hormones. But with my low ovarian reserve not sure if that would be a good use of time and money?

OP, I'm the one who suggested mini IVF, and I have low ovarian reserve too. You'll get fewer eggs to be sure than you'd get from normal IVF, but typically the eggs you get are of higher quality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe try a consult with Dominion about a natural cycle IVF without stim drugs. And/or trying acupuncture and supplements to up your odds. I had two kids over 40 without IVF (tried it, it just didn't work for me), and I think there are things you can do without IVF to improve your chances.

OP here. I am more than willing to try acupuncture and supplements. I am researching all that now. I have very low Vitamin D, so increasing that is a priority, as well as taking a prenatal and eating better overall. Accupuncture scares me but I'm willing to try it.

Vitamin D is a big one, and it frustrates me that fertility doctors don't take it seriously. I'm convinced it's a big part of why I got pregnant a few months after moving to Virginia, after trying for years in upstate NY. There are studies that show its impact on ovarian function. And correlation to ovarian cancer, so you should get your levels up for tgat reason anyway. Also get your thyroid tested. If your tsh is over 2.5, find someone to treat you to get it closer to 1.0. There are things you can do that aren't ivf.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe try a consult with Dominion about a natural cycle IVF without stim drugs. And/or trying acupuncture and supplements to up your odds. I had two kids over 40 without IVF (tried it, it just didn't work for me), and I think there are things you can do without IVF to improve your chances.

Yes to all of the above. Also, get a second opinion on the ovarian reserve. I was diagnosed with the same when TTC our first. I went for a second opinion with Dominion and they were able to confirm that was not the case. We discussed natural cycle IVF, but I was able to get pregnant on my own before starting the process. DOR is difficult to diagnose and at 37, especially with your family history, seems unlikely.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe try a consult with Dominion about a natural cycle IVF without stim drugs. And/or trying acupuncture and supplements to up your odds. I had two kids over 40 without IVF (tried it, it just didn't work for me), and I think there are things you can do without IVF to improve your chances.

OP here. I am more than willing to try acupuncture and supplements. I am researching all that now. I have very low Vitamin D, so increasing that is a priority, as well as taking a prenatal and eating better overall. Accupuncture scares me but I'm willing to try it.

OP here. I haven't heard of that type of IVF. I'm just scared of hormones due to all the reproductive cancers in my family tree. I feel like we should be grateful for having one child, and if we can't conceive naturally then we should just be content with one. My husband does not agree with that perspective at all and wants to trudge ahead with IVF treatments. I would be willing to try something with minimal hormones. But with my low ovarian reserve not sure if that would be a good use of time and money?

Maybe try a consult with Dominion about a natural cycle IVF without stim drugs. And/or trying acupuncture and supplements to up your odds. I had two kids over 40 without IVF (tried it, it just didn't work for me), and I think there are things you can do without IVF to improve your chances.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else diagnosed with decreased ovarian reserve who is experiencing secondary infertility? Been TTC for 6 months with no pregnancy. Blood tests and ultrasound showed very few eggs remaining. I am really upset and not sure how to proceed. I'm 37. Conceived our child quickly (after one month of TTC) and easily just 2 years ago, so this comes as a complete shock. Not only am I upset about the secondary infertility but also the implications for premature menopause. My family history on both sides is of very fertile women, having babies with their own eggs well into their 40s.

However, for the last 6 months my cycles have shortened by 2 days and I knew I wasn't ovulating.

I'm leaning towards being content with my only child and not pursuing fertility treatments. Husband is not of this same perspective, wants to do IVF, and is very resentful towards me because of this diagnosis. Any thoughts from others who have been there too?

That is not ok. He can be upset that you won't pursue treatment, but he is not allowed to be mad that you have a medical condition. Please have him examine those feelings before moving forward. How is it your fault you are going through early menopause?

OP here. He is resentful because he wanted to have kids earlier in our marriage, but I insisted we wait 5 years because I was not ready until we started to TTC, at which point we got pregnant right away (thankfully). But he is resentful because as a result of being AMA, now we are having difficulty getting pregnant with #2. DH really wants more than one child. I am content with one, but I am upset that the choice has been taken away from me by biology. I am fine with having an only child, which makes the idea of facing all the IVF treatments very unappealing. I don't want to take hormones, we have a lot of reproductive cancers in the family (ovarian, uterine, breast) and I don't want to do anything to elevate my risk. DH wants to proceed with treatment because his ideal family size is more than one child.

OP, while you obviously should not do anything you are uncomfortable with, maybe consider minimal stimulation IVF? I had success with this once. You could try natural cycle, too, but that's a lot less successful I think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else diagnosed with decreased ovarian reserve who is experiencing secondary infertility? Been TTC for 6 months with no pregnancy. Blood tests and ultrasound showed very few eggs remaining. I am really upset and not sure how to proceed. I'm 37. Conceived our child quickly (after one month of TTC) and easily just 2 years ago, so this comes as a complete shock. Not only am I upset about the secondary infertility but also the implications for premature menopause. My family history on both sides is of very fertile women, having babies with their own eggs well into their 40s.

However, for the last 6 months my cycles have shortened by 2 days and I knew I wasn't ovulating.

I'm leaning towards being content with my only child and not pursuing fertility treatments. Husband is not of this same perspective, wants to do IVF, and is very resentful towards me because of this diagnosis. Any thoughts from others who have been there too?

That is not ok. He can be upset that you won't pursue treatment, but he is not allowed to be mad that you have a medical condition. Please have him examine those feelings before moving forward. How is it your fault you are going through early menopause?

OP here. He is resentful because he wanted to have kids earlier in our marriage, but I insisted we wait 5 years because I was not ready until we started to TTC, at which point we got pregnant right away (thankfully). But he is resentful because as a result of being AMA, now we are having difficulty getting pregnant with #2. DH really wants more than one child. I am content with one, but I am upset that the choice has been taken away from me by biology. I am fine with having an only child, which makes the idea of facing all the IVF treatments very unappealing. I don't want to take hormones, we have a lot of reproductive cancers in the family (ovarian, uterine, breast) and I don't want to do anything to elevate my risk. DH wants to proceed with treatment because his ideal family size is more than one child.

Anonymous wrote:Shady Grove has counselors, don't they?

I'd take a little time to process and research and do a couple session with a counselor. Can you and DH take a day off work and send your first to daycare and devote some time to thinking this all through?

That's a good idea, didn't think of that.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else diagnosed with decreased ovarian reserve who is experiencing secondary infertility? Been TTC for 6 months with no pregnancy. Blood tests and ultrasound showed very few eggs remaining. I am really upset and not sure how to proceed. I'm 37. Conceived our child quickly (after one month of TTC) and easily just 2 years ago, so this comes as a complete shock. Not only am I upset about the secondary infertility but also the implications for premature menopause. My family history on both sides is of very fertile women, having babies with their own eggs well into their 40s.

However, for the last 6 months my cycles have shortened by 2 days and I knew I wasn't ovulating.

I'm leaning towards being content with my only child and not pursuing fertility treatments. Husband is not of this same perspective, wants to do IVF, and is very resentful towards me because of this diagnosis. Any thoughts from others who have been there too?

That is not ok. He can be upset that you won't pursue treatment, but he is not allowed to be mad that you have a medical condition. Please have him examine those feelings before moving forward. How is it your fault you are going through early menopause?

Shady Grove has counselors, don't they?

I'd take a little time to process and research and do a couple session with a counselor. Can you and DH take a day off work and send your first to daycare and devote some time to thinking this all through?

Both you and your husband should learn what IVF entails before deciding whether or not to pursue it. I believe Shady Grove has some informational videos on their website but I'm sure YouTube has some as well. Also look into your finances and see if you will have to pay out-of-pocket.

Anyone else diagnosed with decreased ovarian reserve who is experiencing secondary infertility? Been TTC for 6 months with no pregnancy. Blood tests and ultrasound showed very few eggs remaining. I am really upset and not sure how to proceed. I'm 37. Conceived our child quickly (after one month of TTC) and easily just 2 years ago, so this comes as a complete shock. Not only am I upset about the secondary infertility but also the implications for premature menopause. My family history on both sides is of very fertile women, having babies with their own eggs well into their 40s.

However, for the last 6 months my cycles have shortened by 2 days and I knew I wasn't ovulating.

I'm leaning towards being content with my only child and not pursuing fertility treatments. Husband is not of this same perspective, wants to do IVF, and is very resentful towards me because of this diagnosis. Any thoughts from others who have been there too?