Anonymous wrote:My father just passed away and we are getting ready to do all of this. My mom wants "Prayer of St Francis" and "Let There Be Peace on Earth". I would like "On Eagle's Wings". I really like "Here I Am, Lord", "Be Not Afraid", and "Be With Me, Lord" but I am worried I won't be able to keep it together.

Nothing wrong with some tears at a parent's funeral

My father just passed away and we are getting ready to do all of this. My mom wants "Prayer of St Francis" and "Let There Be Peace on Earth". I would like "On Eagle's Wings". I really like "Here I Am, Lord", "Be Not Afraid", and "Be With Me, Lord" but I am worried I won't be able to keep it together.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. The priest will be from the parish where we grew up but my parents moved away 20 years ago so he doesn't actually know our family personally but that is what she wants. Music was a big part of our childhood and church life so I like your suggestions for adding music. Thank you again.

If the priest is engaged and helpful, that makes a big difference. That was not the case with both my parents' funerals and the funerals of some friends' parents. I also vote for the choir idea. Church singers are often eager to help out at funerals, even if they don't know the person who died.

I'm sorry, OP. I'm saying a prayer for your mom and your family.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. The priest will be from the parish where we grew up but my parents moved away 20 years ago so he doesn't actually know our family personally but that is what she wants. Music was a big part of our childhood and church life so I like your suggestions for adding music. Thank you again.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Have you talked to the priest yet? Even without knowing your family personally, he may be able to give you some guidance on what's traditionally done, and what you do to make it a more uplifting event.

I also like Be Not Afraid

What do you mean by Vigil?

I'm sorry about your mom. That's so hard.

I'm so sorry, OP you and your family is going through this.

If you find solace and comfort in Precious Lord, it's more than fine to use at a funeral mass.

A priest local to you or the one where the mass will be held can walk you through the planning. It doesn't matter if you don't know them or don't regularly attend their church.

We typically do a rosary at the wake/viewing the night before the mass. The only part of the mass itself that can be customized, really, is the music and the eulogy. The eulogy can be a wonderful celebration of life -- we laughed out loud several times at the stories my BIL told about my FIL. And of course you can have a reception afterward with photographs, video, etc. that celebrates her life.

Another one they used was "Be Not Afraid"

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dWpG7qHtB8g

Here I am Lord:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EcxOkht8w7c

My mom passed away over ten years ago. We were all a mess so a neighbor, the musical director from another parish, handled her music.

Unexpectedly, he showed up with a full choir from his parish (her parish was small and did not have a music ministry). The music he selected was beautiful, joyful. It made us cry but because we were genuinely moved and not because the music was sad and somber. I don't remember all the songs but the one that still sticks with me today is the song "Here I am Lord". He also used "On Eagle's Wings" and "Ave Maria" (mom was devoted to Mary)

If I remember any of the others I will post later.

Thank you. The priest will be from the parish where we grew up but my parents moved away 20 years ago so he doesn't actually know our family personally but that is what she wants. Music was a big part of our childhood and church life so I like your suggestions for adding music. Thank you again.

Pp again. Can you get a chorus with instruments to sing? You can pick your moms favorite song and have them sing or do a string quartet at the end? Just trying to think of ways to
Make it personal for her/you

I think what makes it more of a "celebration of life" are the personal eulogies given by family and friends. That and the music selection will really set the tone. Maybe "joyful joyful we adore thee"?

Do you know the priest who will be doing the ceremony? I would call and hopefully he can direct you. Sorry about your mother and good luck

The priest is the one who walked us through the entire process. If your father and aunts are there, they should make the decisions - or at least send you "choices."

Send your questions to your family and they can ask the priest.

My mom is dying and it is a matter of weeks. My aunts have helped me with the readings and songs for the funeral mass, but I have never planned a vigil so have some questions. I am doing this from across the country which makes it difficult. My dads only request is that it is not depressing but a celebration of her life. For instance, I love the hymn Precious Lord, Take my Hand but I do not k ow if that is appropriate to sing at a vigil. Also, do we do a rosary in addition to the vigil service or is that done in place of ? I have seen that a lay person can lead if they know the order of service? What other things are usually included? Apologies if my post seems scattered, I am kind of a mess emotionally.