Anonymous
10/07/2015 17:52
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
Trim all ear and nose hair, for starters. Eyebrows too.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 17:47
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
Anonymous wrote:I am a middle aged man (51). I am widowed (8 months) with a teenage daughter. Since DW's passing, I have spent most of my time split between work and my daughter. But, I am getting lonely. At this point, the people that were initially coming around to make sure things are ok have moved on. These were mostly my wife's friends; all are married with children.
I am trying to figure out the best way for me to get back out there. I am not into bars, live in my house in the suburbs, and have my own (medical) medical issues (cancer and diabetes). I am told I am reasonably good looking, though tall and somewhat overweight (20% or so, based on weight). My hair is intact, and the only (significant) grey is in my facial hair.
I am thinking of on-line dating. I hear that there is a shortage of single people my age. Particularly those with decent careers (good salary, but not big law dollars) who are educated (grad degree in physical sciences) and funny. I know tinder would not play to my strengths, and I am not looking for hookups. I am thinking of okc or e-harmony. If this matters, I am a agnostic, but was born (and pretend to be) a reform jew.
I am open to suggestions....
Talk to those friends of your DW. THey may have someone in mind for you. HOwever, 8 months may be considered too early for them. Was your DW's passing a surprise?
Anonymous
10/07/2015 17:05
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
*you're*^
Anonymous
10/07/2015 17:04
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
I'm a woman, a little younger than you. I echo the PPs who say don't rely solely on online dating. I've made an effort to socialize more with friends and acquaintances & have joined a few meetups in addition to doing OKC. The online dating thing can be time consuming and exhausting and won't really fill a void. It can be a while before you get the hang of things and really connect with someone. So follow the advice above and put yourself out there at cultural & art events, meetups, etc. so that you also have a non-dating social outlet.
Good luck. A successful, decent, fairly attractive man can get plenty of dates online, as long as your not aiming solely for the young, super-hot women.
Good luck. A successful, decent, fairly attractive man can get plenty of dates online, as long as your not aiming solely for the young, super-hot women.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 16:29
Subject: Re:What is the best way to find a new partner?
I am sorry for your loss OP. Let me know if you want to have coffee. I am
45 and divorced ?
45 and divorced ?
Anonymous
10/07/2015 13:32
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
I'm sorry for your loss, OP.
In addition to the dating sites, which a lot of my normal 40+ friends use, you should let your circle know that you're ready to start dating. There's a pretty good chance that at least one of them will have a person or two in mind, and will be happy to make introductions. I'm always excited to invite people out to events (happy hours, parties) when I think they might be a good match.
In addition to the dating sites, which a lot of my normal 40+ friends use, you should let your circle know that you're ready to start dating. There's a pretty good chance that at least one of them will have a person or two in mind, and will be happy to make introductions. I'm always excited to invite people out to events (happy hours, parties) when I think they might be a good match.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 13:27
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
Also, if you're just out looking for a wife because you are lonely, another person will sense that.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 13:20
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
I agree with PP, not that I think you shouldn't date, but you shouldn't be dating because you're lonely.
Think about your daughter. Would you want her to look for a boyfriend to fill some void in her life, or would you want her to look for a boyfriend to add to her already-fulfilling life?
You deserve the same level of self-care.
How much can you really bring to the table if your reason for being there is a negative?
Call on friends and family, members of your cultural or religious groups, and spend the next six months or so building a new life as a widower. When you feel like your life is more or less complete, that's the time to seek out a partner. Whoever you end up dating will not be able to cure your loneliness, you need to do that yourself first.
Think about your daughter. Would you want her to look for a boyfriend to fill some void in her life, or would you want her to look for a boyfriend to add to her already-fulfilling life?
You deserve the same level of self-care.
How much can you really bring to the table if your reason for being there is a negative?
Call on friends and family, members of your cultural or religious groups, and spend the next six months or so building a new life as a widower. When you feel like your life is more or less complete, that's the time to seek out a partner. Whoever you end up dating will not be able to cure your loneliness, you need to do that yourself first.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 13:05
Subject: Re:What is the best way to find a new partner?
OP, do you have any friends? Do you have a support network? A relationship shouldn't be a bandaid you throw over loneliness, and looking to that one person to fix it for you puts a lot of pressure on the other person. It might be easier for a find a partner for a healthy, happy, reciprocal relationship if you come into it with an already full life instead of with a gaping hole you need someone else to fill. That's not to say don't date, just don't date to the exclusion of building up the rest of your life.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 12:55
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
OP, cultural events are filled with women. Stay out pf bars.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 12:19
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
I would be honest about the cancer and diabetes by the third date and before you become intimate or exclusive. If you are overweight, lose weight. Usually a good teeth whitening is needed.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 12:05
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
Museums , starbucks, library, nats game, community meetings, on metro. Key is being friendly. I chat with whomever, wherever. I meet knew people all the time. One thing is I'm married, so I feel comfortable chatting or flirting as it never goes anywhere.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 11:09
Subject: Re:What is the best way to find a new partner?
Dating in one's 40s and 50s is easier for men than for women, and in general, there's a premium on widows/widowers rather than divorced folks. I know that sounds awful but I speak from experience-- I'm a 48 year old who was widowed four years ago and remarried this past year.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 09:00
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
J-Date is good (Jewish focused dating site)
My mother-in-law (Jewish) - after she was widowed - met her new husband on J-Date. He's actually not even Jewish! But many Gentiles use it because the people on J-Date are typically well educated, upper middle class, and "serious" about dating someone.
My mom (divorced, late 50s) met her current boyfriend on a website called "It's Our Time." This website is focused on dating for the Boomer population.
Definitely get online - it seems to be getting more popular everyday among Baby Boomers. You'll definitely find companionship.
My mother-in-law (Jewish) - after she was widowed - met her new husband on J-Date. He's actually not even Jewish! But many Gentiles use it because the people on J-Date are typically well educated, upper middle class, and "serious" about dating someone.
My mom (divorced, late 50s) met her current boyfriend on a website called "It's Our Time." This website is focused on dating for the Boomer population.
Definitely get online - it seems to be getting more popular everyday among Baby Boomers. You'll definitely find companionship.
Anonymous
10/07/2015 08:55
Subject: What is the best way to find a new partner?
I am a middle aged man (51). I am widowed (8 months) with a teenage daughter. Since DW's passing, I have spent most of my time split between work and my daughter. But, I am getting lonely. At this point, the people that were initially coming around to make sure things are ok have moved on. These were mostly my wife's friends; all are married with children.
I am trying to figure out the best way for me to get back out there. I am not into bars, live in my house in the suburbs, and have my own (medical) medical issues (cancer and diabetes). I am told I am reasonably good looking, though tall and somewhat overweight (20% or so, based on weight). My hair is intact, and the only (significant) grey is in my facial hair.
I am thinking of on-line dating. I hear that there is a shortage of single people my age. Particularly those with decent careers (good salary, but not big law dollars) who are educated (grad degree in physical sciences) and funny. I know tinder would not play to my strengths, and I am not looking for hookups. I am thinking of okc or e-harmony. If this matters, I am a agnostic, but was born (and pretend to be) a reform jew.
I am open to suggestions....
I am trying to figure out the best way for me to get back out there. I am not into bars, live in my house in the suburbs, and have my own (medical) medical issues (cancer and diabetes). I am told I am reasonably good looking, though tall and somewhat overweight (20% or so, based on weight). My hair is intact, and the only (significant) grey is in my facial hair.
I am thinking of on-line dating. I hear that there is a shortage of single people my age. Particularly those with decent careers (good salary, but not big law dollars) who are educated (grad degree in physical sciences) and funny. I know tinder would not play to my strengths, and I am not looking for hookups. I am thinking of okc or e-harmony. If this matters, I am a agnostic, but was born (and pretend to be) a reform jew.
I am open to suggestions....