Are you estranged from them? Or do you see them occasionally?

Anonymous wrote:Did your family treat you bad? Were they abusive? Are they still abusive?

If not, then I can't imagine not introducing them to your spouse or not inviting them to the wedding. Do you see them? Or have you also cut links with them?

If just embarrassment, then I think you just need to suck it up.

Yes and yes. My mother and siblings usually call when they need money. I visit every Christmas, sometimes thanksgiving.

Sounds like your mother is a stress to you. Sounds like you don't want to be around her.

These reasons are valid in themselves to keep your family out of your life. It is your life after all.

It took me years to extricate myself from my family. I admire your speed.

Skip the drama. Do what your heart is telling you to do. It's O.K. to avoid them.

Anonymous wrote:I have a distant cousin who secretly got married and had a baby with a man. She is from a strict Christian family and he is Muslim.

Of course this was the worst possible way for her to handle the situation and caused tremendous drama. I think someone who would do this is only trying to increase the drama factor in their lives.

I don't want to cause drama, I don't want his family to think poorly of mine (me). I grew up with nothing. Think holes in my tennis shoes, no socks in the middle of the winter in the snow. Washing dishes with a water hose. I am far from home. My family is just loud, and crass. I can see my drunk Mother screwing a 25 yr old waiter in the bathroom.

Did your family treat you bad? Were they abusive? Are they still abusive?

If not, then I can't imagine not introducing them to your spouse or not inviting them to the wedding. Do you see them? Or have you also cut links with them?

If just embarrassment, then I think you just need to suck it up.

I never met my MIL. Talked to her on the phone once.

He knows all about them. Even the horrific family secrets. We have stated talking about marriage, and I don't want my family there if we do marry. His family is upper middle class, mine is not only poor but my Mother is embarassing. I could imagine her asking his family for money.

I have a distant cousin who secretly got married and had a baby with a man. She is from a strict Christian family and he is Muslim.

Of course this was the worst possible way for her to handle the situation and caused tremendous drama. I think someone who would do this is only trying to increase the drama factor in their lives.

I think if you want this long-term relationship to work, your partner needs to understand where you came from, good or bad. Have you at least talked about your family, that they're screwed up and that you're embarrassed by them?

*whole

Sorry, work emergency. I'm really embarassed of my family. I left a small town, and I've made a while new life for myself. My family is really screwed up.

Embarrassed of your partner or embarrassed by your family?

You need to be able to share embarrassing family with your partner. If not, maybe you need to reevaluate how close yyou really are

Can't imagine it. What are you afraid will happen, OP?

I am in a long term relationship. My family lives across country. I have never introduced my partner to my family, and I don't plan to. I'm a bit embarassed by them. Has anyone ever done this?