1 2 3 Magic doesn't work for a lot of kids. There are better ways to discipline that involve empathy and understanding what's provoking your kids' behavior. 1 2 3 Magic focuses on modifying behaviors that grown ups find inconvenient/unacceptable using consequences (another name for punishments).

Try reading Laura Markham's books or check out her website at www.ahaparenting.org In the long-run, empathy-based parenting is a lot more effective than seeing children's behaviors as crimes deserving of punishment.

Anonymous wrote:The key is consistency. If every time you get to three the child gets a time out or has a privilege taken away, kids learn quickly to stop the misbehavior at one or two.

Consistency is important, but the key is to take the emotion out of it. Your kid wants to get a rise out of you, and if you count in an angry way or in a way that shows any emotion, your kids are getting what they want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - I laughed out loud at "no one told me about the book.."

you are correct, there is no magic in counting to three..however, the method described in the book is pretty effective..

+1.

+1000. I read the book when my now-first grader was 2 and it still works with him at 6. It also works with my preschooler.

The key is consistency. If every time you get to three the child gets a time out or has a privilege taken away, kids learn quickly to stop the misbehavior at one or two.

Can anyone outline the key tenants? (I have a 20 month old throwing food and giggled every time despite first ignoring and now trying to be stern. His twin sister doesn't like being spoken to sternly and stopped. But he doesn't care at all.)

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - I laughed out loud at "no one told me about the book.."

you are correct, there is no magic in counting to three..however, the method described in the book is pretty effective..

+1.

it was funny to me too "no one told me about he book" Imagine cry it out, without reading the theory behind it.

there is just so much information swirling around us all the time, it is easy to have gaps and totally miss things.

Sorry - I laughed out loud at "no one told me about the book.."

you are correct, there is no magic in counting to three..however, the method described in the book is pretty effective..

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

NO ONE told me about the book!! So glad I asked.

He is 4.

Yep, read the book. There's also a video, which can be helpful to actually see it in action. Not sure if it's been updated--when I last used it a few years ago it was really cheesy, but still effective.

OP here.

NO ONE told me about the book!! So glad I asked.

He is 4.

Yep it's not just counting. At this point I only need to hold up 1 finger to my 3 y/o DD and she immediately stops whatever she was doing and listens. The off time she does mimic me and count she still ends up in time-out (or has something taken away) and won't do it again for quite a while (she also tends to only do that when she's tired).

Anonymous wrote:I say "1!!!! .... 2!!!!! 2 and a half!!!!"

Son says "3!!!!"

I say "Time Out!!!"

Son says "4!!!! 5!!!! 6!! 7!! 8! 9! 10!" from time out.

We do it over and over.

What is so magical about it?

How old is he? And if you are doing 123 magic, you are not doing correctly.

Sounds like you didn't read the book. If you did you'd know it's not just about counting. I use it with emotionally disturbed preschoolers and it works pretty darn well.

He learned to count to 10?

I have no idea what is so magical about it.

I say "1!!!! .... 2!!!!! 2 and a half!!!!"

Son says "3!!!!"

I say "Time Out!!!"

Son says "4!!!! 5!!!! 6!! 7!! 8! 9! 10!" from time out.

We do it over and over.

What is so magical about it?