Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex boyfriend of 5 years got married today and I don't know how I feel about it. We were together for 5 years and broke up in 2012 so it's been awhile and we haven't been in contact in about 6 months. I thought about him a few times today and wondered how his wedding was, if he was happy, etc. One side of me was kind of sad because for the longest time, I thought that would be him and I getting married but then another part of me realizes that I am in a happy relationship and am happy for him but it's still just weird. Has anyone gone through this and had the same feelings?

Do you mean that you feel like he is the "one that got away"?

OP here: Not necessarily. We were together for 5 years but the last 2 years weren't that great. We fought a lot, he said mean things to me, we'd break up but we'd always end up back together after a day or two. It was very unhealthy in the end and the breaking point was him cheating on me. We tried to work through it but I just couldn't get past that. But with that said, it's still weird and kind of sad to think of him now married. I spent 5 years with him and always had seen us getting married in the end but obviously things didn't work out. I'm in a relationship now where we are just starting to talk about engagement and all that so I am happy but I still was a little "sad" over the thought of my ex now being married.

Anonymous wrote:My ex boyfriend of 5 years got married today and I don't know how I feel about it. We were together for 5 years and broke up in 2012 so it's been awhile and we haven't been in contact in about 6 months. I thought about him a few times today and wondered how his wedding was, if he was happy, etc. One side of me was kind of sad because for the longest time, I thought that would be him and I getting married but then another part of me realizes that I am in a happy relationship and am happy for him but it's still just weird. Has anyone gone through this and had the same feelings?

Do you mean that you feel like he is the "one that got away"?

I've been married for 8 yrs and two kids. My ex got married this summer - we were together 5 yrs. I cried! I have. I idea why. We had been engaged. But I've sooo moved on, but when I found out I felt very emotional. I must have been on a fight with Dh that week.

I think it's normal to think about what might have been. I'm not always super-excited when an ex gets married or has kids, because yeah, sometimes I wonder what could have been. I'm not dwelling on it or losing sleep, but I think it's normal to think about the different ways life can go. I have the same thoughts about jobs I didn't take (or stay at) or houses I didn't buy, sometimes.

An ex-boyfriend can cross your mind from time to time for many years, while you're going on with your life happily with someone else. It can even happen from time to time 20 years later, and it's still perfectly normal.

Normal

completely normal to wonder what happened with someone you cared deeply for. If it interferes with your current relationship or "moving on", or you're invading their life, then it's a problem, but otherwise not weird.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's normal. When you leave someone, you think of them (when you do) in the same "place" that you left them in. You know your own life moves on, but you're not acutely aware that their's does. When something significant happens to them, and you're made aware of it, you're just realizing that life really didn't stand still for them, and how far you've really both come since the point where you said goodbye. And sometimes, even if you're happy, it's a little shocking to realize how far behind you those other happy times are.

X100 This is totally normal. And not a problem as long as you don't get stuck on it or start convincing yourself that the ex was "the one" and you get distracted from today's reality and focus on him.

I think it's normal. When you leave someone, you think of them (when you do) in the same "place" that you left them in. You know your own life moves on, but you're not acutely aware that their's does. When something significant happens to them, and you're made aware of it, you're just realizing that life really didn't stand still for them, and how far you've really both come since the point where you said goodbye. And sometimes, even if you're happy, it's a little shocking to realize how far behind you those other happy times are.

I'm sorry OP. I have an ex that I broke up with around the same time. We werent together as long as you two and it would still break me cause I thought the same thing. I guess it's just the finality of it all.

Anonymous wrote:This is ridiculous! You broke up for a reason. THREE YEARS AGO! If you said it was three DAYS ago, I'd understand. But MOVE ON! Why do you even KNOW what he's doing at all?

Cut the cord is what I'm saying. Focus on the man who is paying attention to you and loving you NOW.

Love,
Tough love

this is op-
I know he got married today because I'm still friendly with his sister and I'm still facebook friends with her, his three cousins and a few of his friends. I know we broke up for a reason and I'm happy in my current relationship, it just hit me a bit today and made me remember the relationship I had with him and how at one point in time, I thought it would have been him and I getting married.

Are you going to let her get away with this?

This is ridiculous! You broke up for a reason. THREE YEARS AGO! If you said it was three DAYS ago, I'd understand. But MOVE ON! Why do you even KNOW what he's doing at all?

Cut the cord is what I'm saying. Focus on the man who is paying attention to you and loving you NOW.

Love,
Tough love

It's weird because you miss the dream of 'what could have been'. But you guys broke up for a reason. And the dream you have in your head would never have happened. So grieve for the dream, but focus on your relationship now.

My ex boyfriend of 5 years got married today and I don't know how I feel about it. We were together for 5 years and broke up in 2012 so it's been awhile and we haven't been in contact in about 6 months. I thought about him a few times today and wondered how his wedding was, if he was happy, etc. One side of me was kind of sad because for the longest time, I thought that would be him and I getting married but then another part of me realizes that I am in a happy relationship and am happy for him but it's still just weird. Has anyone gone through this and had the same feelings?