I'm right there with you, OP. I started dating my now ex at 20, and am now 28. We lived together the past 5 years. I found out he cheated on me over the summer while away on a trip, and he came back a changed man. At the time, I wanted him to fight for me and our relationship, but he started sneaking around and lying for the next 3 months after. I just worked up the nerve to kick him out last week. It has been extremely hard, because I pictured him being the man I would marry. He even took me to look at rings a few months before all this happened! Everyone is telling me it is a blessing in disguise, but it is hard to accept that just yet. I know I didn't deserve any of what happened and I do realize that I will be better off in the long run, but sometimes it takes your heart time to catch up to your head. Best of luck, OP. Hopefully the best is yet to come for both of us.

Anonymous wrote:You will be better than fine, you will be great. Pursue your career, health and interests. Go out and have fun. Cherish this carefree time with your girlfriends. Date some nice guys and have a great time. Don't worry about "The One" right now.

Good luck!

+1000

Anonymous wrote:I'm 22. I've posted in the relationship forum before. BF was a deadbeat but was trying to improve. He is now going through serious depression and decided that he doesn't love anyone or anything anymore. He said he hates his family and hates his life and can't be in a relationship with anyone right now. okay. Part of me feel sad but part of me feels set free. A friend told me that he knew I was doing more with life than he was, and he wanted to set me free so he didn't hold me back. Idk. Advice from the older and wiser crowd?

Pick better men next time.

There is some Dr. Phil saying about how "you can't know what you haven't experienced yet" - I'm paraphrasing, but it's true. People survive divorce cancer, death in the family, wars, and all manner of things when they couldn't imagine making it through to the other side of, happier. You can, too OP.

It's hard because it sounds like this was your first real adult relationship. I was devastated when mine split up - and I was about your age. Took me probably a couple of years to get over it completely. I was a mess for months. Drinking way too much, crying all the time. Point is - I got through. And every successive breakup got easier in a way. Not that I didn't love them as much, or even more. Just that I knew I'd gotten through the first one, and been OK, and then the second one, and been OK, and life had gone on without them, and been good. It's hard to imagine when you haven't personally experienced the other side of it, but trust us - you will get through it.

If I could tell my younger self one thing, it's this--Thank God for all your breakups!! I wasted so many tears over men who just weren't worth it or not the right guy for me. Every breakup means you are one step closer to finding the right person for you. (took me until 38, but he worth every moment I waited for him)

The key is to become the right person for you. Use your single time to become the best most version of yourself.

This is an easy one...do the deed and don't look back

Whatever happens, don't feel responsible for this guy's issues.

This may be the nicest thing he will ever do for you. Please move on. Remember the good characteristics he had and look for those in a new relationship. Set your bar higher, and see those characteristics as only a starting point. Find someone with even more qualities that you admire.

Move on. You can do better.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks pps. I suppose I just have this empty feeling somewhere inside.

That's okay. Grieve the relationship. Just don't fool yourself into believing that the emptiness can be filled by the relationship. Find something to focus your attention on - a new hobby, educational goal, volunteering, etc. Find something that fulfills you. Fixing him is not a project that will end well for you.

Thanks pps. I suppose I just have this empty feeling somewhere inside.

You've been spared. Be grateful and move on.

Anonymous wrote:You will be better than fine, you will be great. Pursue your career, health and interests. Go out and have fun. Cherish this carefree time with your girlfriends. Date some nice guys and have a great time. Don't worry about "The One" right now.

Good luck!

+1

You could not receive better advice.

You will be better than fine, you will be great. Pursue your career, health and interests. Go out and have fun. Cherish this carefree time with your girlfriends. Date some nice guys and have a great time. Don't worry about "The One" right now.

Good luck!

I'm 22. I've posted in the relationship forum before. BF was a deadbeat but was trying to improve. He is now going through serious depression and decided that he doesn't love anyone or anything anymore. He said he hates his family and hates his life and can't be in a relationship with anyone right now. okay. Part of me feel sad but part of me feels set free. A friend told me that he knew I was doing more with life than he was, and he wanted to set me free so he didn't hold me back. Idk. Advice from the older and wiser crowd?