Sometimes our compromise was an agreement w/our kids to pick them up/drop them off around the corner or down the street - so kid didn't have to be seen by the older kids as having their parents standing there in the doorway. We did make sure we saw them enter the house. Sometimes we had called the other parents and they knew to expect them

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15yr old sophomore just told me that he was invited to a homecoming afterparty that is being hosted by a group of seniors. I'm not inclined to allow him to go as I think that an afterparty with 18 and 19 yr olds is probably not a great idea at his age (maybe wait until he's at least a junior?).

I also don't know the kid hosting, the parents, the other kids attending, etc. I know I could call the parents, but the reality of that is people don't always monitor the kids the way they said they would once the party is happening.

My son is saying i'm being too strict. WWYD?

There's much more mixing between upper classmen and lower classmen at parties today than there was back when most of us were in school Younger, cool kids are often invited or taken under the wing of older kids. Obviously, it a personal decision whether or not your kid should go, but be aware that there will be alcohol, pot and perhaps other drugs at junior and senior parties. Sophomore parties have usually been tamer for my kids, though there was one last year hosted by a kid who was later sent to a residential drug treatment program.

The moral: know your kids, know their friends and know the friend's parents wherever possible.

This was very much the case when I was HS in 1994-1998, so this isn't new at all. Especially if you had older siblings already in HS that were into parties in big numbers. My boys are 2 years apart, so its something I think about a lot, letting the younger one "be young" for as long as the older one got to without rushing into things 2 years ahead (and potentially missing out then on the joys of some of the younger years, after all you have your whole life to have memories of drinking and partying, truly nowadays people do that all the way to 30s as if they were still teens anyway!)

Well, I date myself, but most of my friends were in HS in the late 70s, early 80s. We liked underclassmen, befriended some, but never had them at our parties. Don't know why that was, but many of my friends have commented on the strangeness now of some junior or senior girl inviting a freshman boy to hang out at a party. Perhaps it became more common in subsequent decades...

Anonymous wrote:Let him go but you pick him up.

+1. If he won't agree to that, he can't go.

Let him go but you pick him up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15yr old sophomore just told me that he was invited to a homecoming afterparty that is being hosted by a group of seniors. I'm not inclined to allow him to go as I think that an afterparty with 18 and 19 yr olds is probably not a great idea at his age (maybe wait until he's at least a junior?).

I also don't know the kid hosting, the parents, the other kids attending, etc. I know I could call the parents, but the reality of that is people don't always monitor the kids the way they said they would once the party is happening.

My son is saying i'm being too strict. WWYD?

There's much more mixing between upper classmen and lower classmen at parties today than there was back when most of us were in school Younger, cool kids are often invited or taken under the wing of older kids. Obviously, it a personal decision whether or not your kid should go, but be aware that there will be alcohol, pot and perhaps other drugs at junior and senior parties. Sophomore parties have usually been tamer for my kids, though there was one last year hosted by a kid who was later sent to a residential drug treatment program.

The moral: know your kids, know their friends and know the friend's parents wherever possible.

This was very much the case when I was HS in 1994-1998, so this isn't new at all. Especially if you had older siblings already in HS that were into parties in big numbers. My boys are 2 years apart, so its something I think about a lot, letting the younger one "be young" for as long as the older one got to without rushing into things 2 years ahead (and potentially missing out then on the joys of some of the younger years, after all you have your whole life to have memories of drinking and partying, truly nowadays people do that all the way to 30s as if they were still teens anyway!)

Anonymous wrote:My 15yr old sophomore just told me that he was invited to a homecoming afterparty that is being hosted by a group of seniors. I'm not inclined to allow him to go as I think that an afterparty with 18 and 19 yr olds is probably not a great idea at his age (maybe wait until he's at least a junior?).

I also don't know the kid hosting, the parents, the other kids attending, etc. I know I could call the parents, but the reality of that is people don't always monitor the kids the way they said they would once the party is happening.

My son is saying i'm being too strict. WWYD?

There's much more mixing between upper classmen and lower classmen at parties today than there was back when most of us were in school Younger, cool kids are often invited or taken under the wing of older kids. Obviously, it a personal decision whether or not your kid should go, but be aware that there will be alcohol, pot and perhaps other drugs at junior and senior parties. Sophomore parties have usually been tamer for my kids, though there was one last year hosted by a kid who was later sent to a residential drug treatment program.

The moral: know your kids, know their friends and know the friend's parents wherever possible.

I too would let him go, but with strings attached, like a strict curfew of, say, midnight. Perhaps parents will be there and it won't be an alcohol and sex-fueled blowout -- you could ask more questions of your DC.

OP. That's what I'm inclined towards. To add a layer of complexity (IMO), this is an international school where the bulk of the students come from a country in which drinking is already legal and common at that age. Most of the seniors haven't grown up here or been here long.

Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:My 15yr old sophomore just told me that he was invited to a homecoming afterparty that is being hosted by a group of seniors. I'm not inclined to allow him to go as I think that an afterparty with 18 and 19 yr olds is probably not a great idea at his age (maybe wait until he's at least a junior?).

I also don't know the kid hosting, the parents, the other kids attending, etc. I know I could call the parents, but the reality of that is people don't always monitor the kids the way they said they would once the party is happening.

My son is saying i'm being too strict. WWYD?

I like the other PP's idea, date, or in this case, socialize, at your age level. I'd want to know about the parents somehow, and I'd give him a curfew where "you" will pick him up from the party.

I'd say no.

At 15 my daughter dated a student a few grades older. I said they had to "date" for the age SHE was. That meant no cars (since she and her age group weren't driving yet). It meant HER curfew. Dating is a different situation - except that it isn't entirely.

Seniors can drive. Seniors can stay out later, and generally get into different kinds of trouble. At 15 your son should be restricted to 15 year old kind of trouble

Anonymous wrote:Let him go

why

Let him go

My 15yr old sophomore just told me that he was invited to a homecoming afterparty that is being hosted by a group of seniors. I'm not inclined to allow him to go as I think that an afterparty with 18 and 19 yr olds is probably not a great idea at his age (maybe wait until he's at least a junior?).

I also don't know the kid hosting, the parents, the other kids attending, etc. I know I could call the parents, but the reality of that is people don't always monitor the kids the way they said they would once the party is happening.

My son is saying i'm being too strict. WWYD?