We do talk to her but she always says, "you can't solve anyone else's problems," and says she doesn't like to dwell on things. The story I get from the close friends' parents, is consistent it with my own obervations and things I know from her. She tells us a lot about everything else. I would say just between 7th grade and now, she handles things regarding close friendships on her own. Which I don't think is too bad. We do want her to be an independent adult and be prepared to face college.

It is hard to help with tips and examples when you haven't really shared much. It seems as though your child isn't talking to you which is a giant red flag. Between the therapist and other parents who knows what story you are getting. Why not talk to your child?

By. Sixth grade I really stayed out of my kids friendships. But I also made sure my kids had a lot of places they got friends from, so if one circle went sour, they could focus on other circles.

Thank you for the helpful responses. The truth is she hasn't told me much. What I'm aware of is from other parents who know her and are concerned about some of the social treatment she's getting from "friends." A therapist is also in the picture who is concerned. I assure you I'm not adding to it, we're keeping things light and supportive at home, trying to keep life balanced with outside activities, family, travel, etc. It's just a really tough time and I'm worried.

As hard as it is and will be, I think friendship groups will change especially as differing academic goals, boys, partying enter the picture at this age. When I'm at my most balanced, I do see the other side but I think getting through it is going to be brutal. So much worse than going through it yourself.

Sophomore year is tough. Be glad she feels comfortable enough to talk to you about it. What I would have liked at the time was unconditional love, but not having my mom get overly involved in the day to day. I also wish my mom had shared some life lessons like letting me know how very, very temporary this stage of life is and that the majority of the "mean" girls will peak in high school. Also, it's a time to learn what's important in a friend and what kind of person you want to be. I don't know if I would have listened to any of this - but in retrospect seems like it would have helped. I would have also liked some fun times just with my mom where we get could get away from the friend drama - movie/shopping/trip somewhere where we're not likely to run into school friends. Also, I would be careful to see if you can make sure it's typical drama, not depression. You could see a therapist/psychologist on your own to figure it out if you get concerned. She is lucky to have a mom who cares so much!

I can barely see her getting to the holidays let alone the end of the year or graduation

This seems overdramatic.
Mom unless she has emotional problems to be concerned with - you better lighten up - or you're adding to it.
I'm all for keeping lines of communication open, but I have to wonder, Mom how is it that you know so much? What drama?
Maybe DD is just dumping on you. Maybe you hear the problems but not the resolutions.