Why should you have to do anything with this information? File away under "Misc., other".

OP here. I was kind, but it's on my mind still. I said, I understand it is very hard (we have kids with a lot of "stuff") but for me I would feel like my life hadn't been as rich without them, as hard as it is. But I have felt I suppose like he expressed on occasion, but I did say that many good things are hard.

Does he mean it as a "I regret having kids" or simply acknowledging that if he knew it was hard he wouldn't have had them.

There is a big difference. You could interpret the second sentiment as not necessarily regret, but an acknowledgement that if you had been warned/scared to death about diaper blowouts, sleepless nights and attitudes it would have stopped you from having kids. And we're blissfully unaware it was not all kisses and sunshine

I think most parents have felt that way at some point or another. Honestly, anytime I find myself stuck in a difficult situation, I find myself having regrets about committing myself to the task, but I usually overcome that and ultimately feel a sense of satisfaction for having stuck in out and accomplished something difficult.

So, my advice would be not to get offended about his comment (assuming he's OK otherwise) but don't indulge him either.

I feel the same way as your husband. I am a Mom. Don't shut him down for being honest. Would you rather he tell some other woman?

Not sure what prompted this but if this seems like a tip of the iceberg sort of thing with him I would take it seriously.

Not to scare you, but the one person I know that said something similar wound up having what I can only describe as a break down. It was like they lost perspective on what even mattered in life and just trashed their life.

I would tell your husband to see a counselor. In fact, you would be smart to go with him. Sooner the better.

Anonymous wrote:My wife says the same. Kids are 4 and 7. She loves them but if had to do it over, she wouldn't. I imagine when kids are grown she will feel differently. I feel like compassionately seperating from her so she can live her life free from the burden of children. I would rather raise them solo.

When I bartended, a surprising amount of women confessed to me they regretted having children. I never once heard that from a man. Anecdotal, but interesting.

Probably cause women tend to do the vast majority of the actual WORK of raising a child.

Anonymous wrote:He said "if I knew how hard it would be I wouldn't have done it" - kids 12 and 9. What am I supposed to do with this information?

Laugh at him, or with him. Be thankful that he feels like he can be this honest with you. Tell him kindly not to say that around the kids, at least for another ten years because they might be as sensitive as you are and misunderstanding his likely meaning.

My wife says the same. Kids are 4 and 7. She loves them but if had to do it over, she wouldn't. I imagine when kids are grown she will feel differently. I feel like compassionately seperating from her so she can live her life free from the burden of children. I would rather raise them solo.

When I bartended, a surprising amount of women confessed to me they regretted having children. I never once heard that from a man. Anecdotal, but interesting.

Cue a bunch of trolls coming in and telling OP the only solution is more sex....


3....2....1....

Anonymous wrote:I doubt what you say Op

Sorry? Why?

That's kind of the only way the population keeps growing.

I doubt what you say Op

Well, if I had known how hard it was, I might not have done it either, but I'm so glad I didn't know, because the kids are the best thing I've done.

Does that help? It doesn't mean he regrets them.

He said "if I knew how hard it would be I wouldn't have done it" - kids 12 and 9. What am I supposed to do with this information?