Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, I think it's like money. You need friends to make friends. Once you have friends, it's like you have the seal of approval and can make more. If you don't have friends, people kind of don't know what to make of you and won't go out on a limb to talk to you. There is a prejudice against loners.

Interesting perspective. There seems to be something to it. I see it happen in the workplace. It's almost like grade school all over again.

I don't thinks is true at all. Maybe in certain toxic environments, I suppose.

I think it's more like dating. Strike up a casual conversation at the park, school pick up , whatever. After a couple conversations ask if she wants to do a play date and you guys can chat. If you have no kids and you run into the same person a couple times say, "do you want to get coffee sometime?" I have made several good friends this way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, I think it's like money. You need friends to make friends. Once you have friends, it's like you have the seal of approval and can make more. If you don't have friends, people kind of don't know what to make of you and won't go out on a limb to talk to you. There is a prejudice against loners.

Interesting perspective. There seems to be something to it. I see it happen in the workplace. It's almost like grade school all over again.

This is why you need to get involved in some kind of activity, something that you are genuinely interested in. Friendships are built on shared experiences and trust.

^ "You what you like" should be "Do what you like"

Sorry

You what you like. When you do, introverted or extroverted, you get enthusiastic, and that draws people to you. People who have that common interest. Maybe they won't be friends, but it's a start.

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, I think it's like money. You need friends to make friends. Once you have friends, it's like you have the seal of approval and can make more. If you don't have friends, people kind of don't know what to make of you and won't go out on a limb to talk to you. There is a prejudice against loners.

Interesting perspective. There seems to be something to it. I see it happen in the workplace. It's almost like grade school all over again.

Anonymous wrote:I have a difficult time finding friends so I'll be reading with interest. My problem is partly because I make the effort to make friends but I don't sustain it--it seems like hard work. There's not a real neighborhood, I'm in an apartment building. Plus I relied too much on family for activities. Don't like phone calls either.

+1

Unfortunately, I think it's like money. You need friends to make friends. Once you have friends, it's like you have the seal of approval and can make more. If you don't have friends, people kind of don't know what to make of you and won't go out on a limb to talk to you. There is a prejudice against loners.

I started joining activities, classes, clubs, etc., that seemed interesting, on the theory that I'd meet people that I had at least a little something in common with. You see who seems interesting and nice, you have an easy conversational opening. Then you just invite them for something low-key--a cup of coffee after the class, etc.

I don't have many friends because I like it that way.
It's too much work. Scheduling things when I always have family around. I just don't have the energy for many friends. I envision after the kids move out that I will be much more open to the idea.

My advice would be to never use the word "snowflake" and spend all your time degrading actual parents that care about their kids. At least on here

IRL I've made them at the kids schools or activities, at the gym, when my kids were infants I joined meet up forums for mommy groups or whatever my interest was, parks, my husband I met another couple while at a restaurant bar waiting for our table and its now 6 years later we are best friends. If you are open to meeting people and give out that vibe you will find it easy.

I am an extroverted person and making friends comes easily.
I am also loyal and put in the work in friendships that they need to sustain. I make the phone calls, go out on a limb and invite people to things, return emails, I attend functions when its possible for me to and not flake out because its easier.

My 4 best friends are my mom, sister and two sister-in-laws.
We talk every single day.
I have friends from high school that I reach out to regularly. Some i've kept all along and some I reconnected with through Facebook after I had a child. They similarly had babies around the same time and we had that in common. We joined running (with stroller) groups, went mall walking, etc. You could reconnect with people on Facebook. Shoot them a message and ask to meet for coffee or wine or whatever suits you.

I have friends that I made through work. Most of them started out as drinking buddies pre-husband and pre-babies. We keep in touch and get together when we can. You can befriend someone at work the daily proximity makes it easy. Find someone that makes you laugh or that you enjoy their qualities and pursue something there.

You can make friends by joining sport teams or the gym.

Some of my closest friends lately have been wonderful families that I've met through my child's school. I pick DD up every night and make conversation with the other parents that are also there. I started by inviting one lady (and her child) that i thought looked nice and i enjoyed talking to, to go ice skating with me and my DD. This led to more get togethers, wine nights, family trips together.

Yes it is work but it's worthwhile.

Anonymous wrote:How do you make friends when you have none?

This is such a sad and sweet question.

It's usually best to get involved in some kind of activity and gradually get to know people.

If that doesn't work, you could try group therapy. There are other lonely souls out there.

Good luck.

I have a difficult time finding friends so I'll be reading with interest. My problem is partly because I make the effort to make friends but I don't sustain it--it seems like hard work. There's not a real neighborhood, I'm in an apartment building. Plus I relied too much on family for activities. Don't like phone calls either.

Who needs friends when you have DCUM?

How do you make friends when you have none?