Anonymous wrote:55 with kids that need taken care of? are they in their 20s?

Yeah at 55 you shouldn't have too many kid issues.

Ask not rask.

Rask him. I'm not joking. Just watch his reaction.

Smell his little pecker...that's how I found out!

OP it sounds like he MIGHT be cheating but doesn't want the marriage to end.

Getting it out in the open, if that's what you want, sounds really challenging.

I don't know what to suggest but I feel bad you're going through this and wish you all the best.

Hire a PI.

I hate this attitude that a woman who is in shape does not deserve to be cheated on, as it implies a woman who is overweight does. NOBODY deserves to be cheated on at all. OP, if you think he's cheating, then he probably is. You don't need proof. If you want to divorce him, just divorce him, you don't need to provide the courts with proof of him cheating.

Do you really need to know if he is cheating? If he is, will you leave? If he isn't, will you stay? It sounds like there are huge issues in your marriage right now. Lack of sex is one thing, but even worse is the inability to communicate and discuss it.

If you are in Virginia, it is worth finding out if he is cheating -- since it makes a difference in the divorce proceedings. If you are in Maryland, it makes ZERO difference to a court whether he cheated.

Talk to a lawyer about the cheating if you are in VA. Proof of adultery is not as easy as it sounds. Get the evidence in hand before you tip him off that you think he is cheating. A good lawyer will be able to recommend an investigator. Otherwise, take a step back; ignore your suspicions and focus on whether you want to work on your marriage.

It's amazing how imbalanced some relationships can get

55 with kids that need taken care of? are they in their 20s?

Anonymous wrote:I am almost 100 percent sure he is cheating. would be very easy for him, he travels all the time. I am not allowed at his job. NO SEX for almost a year except two times when I basically had to beg. I am not fat, I am not the same as the 30 year old he met, but I am 55 with two kids, everyone says I look like I am in my 30's. I weigh 131 at 5'5. Not skinny but certainly not over weight. I cook, clean, do errands, do fucking everything there is to do in a home and I work part time. I take care of the kids, animals and really try not to bitch. What the hell. He is a very good looking fit man. I see women look at him where ever we go. Doesn't bother me. I know he looks good, but now I am thinking he is cheating. We had a great sex life and it went away overnight. He will not discuss it with me. Really?!

Your question in the title is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what I have bolded. I hope you have the courage to get going.

Sounds like you have enough other legitimate reasons to end the marriage. Just do that. The other stuff if true will come out in the wash. Either way you are done with him

Don't waste your energy trying to find out. Spend it on getting your ducks in a row for the end of the marriage, one way or another.

op here. So my question is how can I truly find out? I need to be 100 percent I could ask but I am sure he would not tell the truth about that

I am almost 100 percent sure he is cheating. would be very easy for him, he travels all the time. I am not allowed at his job. NO SEX for almost a year except two times when I basically had to beg. I am not fat, I am not the same as the 30 year old he met, but I am 55 with two kids, everyone says I look like I am in my 30's. I weigh 131 at 5'5. Not skinny but certainly not over weight. I cook, clean, do errands, do fucking everything there is to do in a home and I work part time. I take care of the kids, animals and really try not to bitch. What the hell. He is a very good looking fit man. I see women look at him where ever we go. Doesn't bother me. I know he looks good, but now I am thinking he is cheating. We had a great sex life and it went away overnight. He will not discuss it with me. Really?!