If she goes on a discourse about eating snails and oysters.

If I had a dollar for every time I've had the "I'm not sure if we're friends or dating" conversation with other lesbians...A minority of gay women are both really out and really flirtatious, but even with those women, it's hard to know if they are into you or they just flirt that way with any potentially available woman. And, that is why I really like online dating as a lesbian, everything is much more clear.

Anonymous wrote:I am new to being bi, but I think it's how a woman looks at you.

Also, bi/lesbian women are less apt to dress kind of overtly, over the top feminine, like to attract a guy.

So you learn, over time, to kind of give a girl "the look" of interest and then it's all about giving out subtle cues of "yes, I am into women" until someone decides to say something like, "You're cute, we should hang out" or something and that clears things up for certain.

I find tinder is a great way to meet women where you KNOW you will be matched up with girls into girls. [although there are some creeper women on there trying to entice women into a threesome with their (always gross looking) BF. Yuck.] But of course, nothing compares to the flirting and excitement of meeting someone in person.

Not true at least for the bi women I've been with and my appearance.

It's kind of an age-old problem that lesbians and bi women have always had. Maybe it's easier for younger women.

I lost track in the responses of which poster OP is, but I think it would help you get more targeted answers if you said more about your situation, and either what you've done to try to express interest, or what the other woman has done that makes you wonder if she's interested in you.

What's the situation?

Anonymous wrote:Intuition on both ends. I'm a rather femme bi woman, but am very into butch women, and they know it.

It's funny. Once you are gay/bi it's like you develop a sixth sense for these things. They give you the look and you just KNOW. And they know that you know, and you know that they know that you know. It's all very fun and exciting, cause it's easy to flirt with them and to the outside world, it's just two gals innocently getting to know each other. Lol....

Intuition on both ends. I'm a rather femme bi woman, but am very into butch women, and they know it.

I'm not gay but I had 2 lesbians just come straight out and ask me out. If they had been throwing me hints, I didn't know it. One was constantly smiling at me but I thought she was just being nice lol.

Anonymous wrote:Most women are straight. They may flirt with other women, but it's not going to go anywhere. A woman can be telling you how pretty you are and finding every reason to touch you, but it doesn't mean she's actually interested in you, it's just a sexy idea she's playing with.

With women who actually date/sleep with women, it's totally different. Flirting is flirting. The looks, compliments, touches - the way men and women flirt with each other is not so different from the way women flirt with each other.

If I'm wondering if a woman is interested in me, the biggest indicator that she might be is that she's been with other women before.

Agreed. It's weird, since I realized I was bi, it's like I've fallen down the rabbit hole. Suddenly you view interactions with women with new eyes, and it's almost like women can sense that too. Once you do it for a while you can kind of sense out other lesbians/bi women, just by how they look at you.

And women will be downright brazen about it. When men flirt, it's often awkward, over the top- they read books about how to pick up women and just generally act strange about it.

But when women flirt? Wow. I can suddenly understand the obsession straight men have with getting women.

Women are the best, most exciting flirts. They will be downright brazen about it but also seem totally capable of sensing discomfort and backing off when necessary (Maybe this is because women in general have better social skills/ IQ? I don't know why). They really make flirting an enjoyable, butterflies in your stomach thing- they're very sexy about it.

So yeah, when a woman is truly flirting with you, most of the time you'll know because women do seem to be skilled flirters, IME- more so than men.

Most women are straight. They may flirt with other women, but it's not going to go anywhere. A woman can be telling you how pretty you are and finding every reason to touch you, but it doesn't mean she's actually interested in you, it's just a sexy idea she's playing with.

With women who actually date/sleep with women, it's totally different. Flirting is flirting. The looks, compliments, touches - the way men and women flirt with each other is not so different from the way women flirt with each other.

If I'm wondering if a woman is interested in me, the biggest indicator that she might be is that she's been with other women before.

I have not figured this out yet, even at 36. Granted, I haven't spent a lot of time at it, considering I've focused most of my adult life on men, marriage, and children. Mostly, I'm worried about ruining a friendship or potential friendship. I am crushing on a close friend in a huge way, and now almost wish I'd laid it all out at the get-go, even though the friendship might have ended. I feel more and more awkward and guilty about it the more I get to know her.

I have done everything short of an actual come on. She must know, right? She hasn't fled in the least, but that may not have meaning one way or another.

This is partly why I don't have many friends.

In my experience, women have been very blunt. Lot's of flirting, touching, complimenting.

I am new to being bi, but I think it's how a woman looks at you.

Also, bi/lesbian women are less apt to dress kind of overtly, over the top feminine, like to attract a guy.

So you learn, over time, to kind of give a girl "the look" of interest and then it's all about giving out subtle cues of "yes, I am into women" until someone decides to say something like, "You're cute, we should hang out" or something and that clears things up for certain.

I find tinder is a great way to meet women where you KNOW you will be matched up with girls into girls. [although there are some creeper women on there trying to entice women into a threesome with their (always gross looking) BF. Yuck.] But of course, nothing compares to the flirting and excitement of meeting someone in person.

I think I might be more middle of the spectrum than I previously thought, but this is a whole other pool to navigate.

For women who are gay/bi/lesbian, how do you know that another women is interested in you, "in that way?" What cues can you easily recognize, that are not so blunt?