Anonymous wrote:Wife cheated and now I wonder if our son is mine. I love him madly and would be devastated if he weren't but I have to ask the question.

I have dark brown hair and WW has black hair. OM has red headed children.

Our son was born with a full head of red hair which has darkened a little over time to light brown with red highlights.

Google not real helpful to me.

Any genetics experts out there?

I'm not sure I'd ask then.

He's yours. Whether or not he has your genes, he's yours.

Anonymous wrote:Isn't his hair the elephant in the room? Why can't you tell your wife you'd like to do a paternity test?

Red-headedness is very recessive genetically. That this child has red hair means OP's wife is carrying red-headedness somewhere in her genetics. It's possible OP is as well, even if you'd have to go back a few generations to find it (which means OP might not even realize it's there). I'm very, very red headed. On my father's side you have to go back two generations to find a redhead, and on my mother's side you have to go back three.

OP, you will never know for sure whether this child is genetically yours unless you do a paternity test. Before you go down that road, you need to think through all of the consequences. Do you want to be your son's father? Right now it's presumed you are, and no one seems to be making a fuss about that. If it turns out you're not, what will that do to your relationship with your son? Will you disown him? Are you prepared for OM to step in and become his father, with visitation and everything? What if he is your genetic child, and he later finds out that you had a paternity test done on him? That could affect your relationship with him, if he feels you didn't love him enough to want to be his dad without the test, that somehow he's lesser in your mind.

Both parents need to carry the gene for red hair. They may not be redheads themselves, but they must both have the gene.

The mother obviously has the gene, even though she has black hair.

The father must also have the gene, whether or not they have red hair. Do you have any redhead relatives at all? If you have some, then there's a greater chance that you have the gene. In small families, that's hard to tell. I am one of several redhead children from parents with no red hair in their families at all. So, unfortunately you're going to have to do a paternity test to tell.

Are there other facial features that look like you (or him)? Eyes, shape of face, etc.?

My husband is dark hair/hazel eyes/olive skin. I am half asian. We have one olive toned kid and one blond haired, blue-green eyed, white skinned caucasian child of a completely different body type than the rest of the family.

Now that the baby is a kid, it looks very much like my husband and his sister did as children and looks just like my SILs kids.

Genetics are strange.

Do you want the truth OP or do you want to still be dad to this child?

Yes, it's possible for two non-redheaded people to produce a red haired child. However, I'd be suspicious, too, if the OM has red haired children. You can buy a paternity test kit and do a cheek swab on both you and the kid. Mail in the swabs and they will tell you if you're related. You could probably do it in secret without your wife finding out.

If your name is listed as the father on the birth certificate, you will always be the father in the court's eyes and your kid would not yanked away from you regardless of the results of any paternity test.

Anonymous wrote:Wife cheated and now I wonder if our son is mine. I love him madly and would be devastated if he weren't but I have to ask the question.

I have dark brown hair and WW has black hair. OM has red headed children.

Our son was born with a full head of red hair which has darkened a little over time to light brown with red highlights.

Google not real helpful to me.

Any genetics experts out there?

Red hair is recessive, so the fact that neither you not your wife have it means nothing. No "genetics expert" can tell you over the internet if your son is yours biologically. There are these things called paternity tests that do that. You don't necessarily need your wife's permission or even knowledge to administer a paternity test. They are available over the counter:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00HJCQR2W/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?qid=1441658853&sr=8-3&keywords=paternity+test+kit&pi=SY200_QL40&dpPl=1&dpID=51TxLtc2r%2BL&ref=plSrch#atwl_secondary_view_1441658872807

Not a genetics expert but my nephew is a redhead. Sister is brunette and BIL is Asian! Definitely no cheating. So, it can happen. I don't think hair color is a good indicator of parentage.

So, you need to make a decision. If you can't live with the doubt, get a paternity test. Or, decide that love trumps blood and your love for your son would be the same even if he wasn't biologically yours and carry on with your life.

Good luck. Certainly not a position anyone should be in.

Anonymous wrote:Have you asked your wife? Tried to calculate the conception?

I guess you could ask for a paternity test. But if your going to stay with your wife and you love the kid, what's the point? Your the only dad he will ever know and to him you are dad.

I remember conception sex but I look back and she always wanted sex after "business" trips with OM....presumably to cover her if she were to get pregnant.

She is denying an affair despite a ton of evidence. future unclear!

My friend is from Argentina and has black hair, dark brown eyes and olive skin. One of her DD's looks just like her. The other has flame red hair, ice blue husky eyes and very pale fair skin. Her husband doesn't look like the redhead either. But I met an aunt and finally made the connection. I know another couple with three flaming redheads when neither have coloring even close. DNA is a weird thing.

The genes for red hair are recessive. This means that you can't tell if the kid is yours based on his hair color. Your wife must be a carrier of the red hair gene and you may be as well.

To know if he's yours you need to find a dominate trait or maybe just get a paternity test.

Go to CVS or drug store, get a kit and test.

http://www.cvs.com/shop/sexual-health/pregnancy-fertility/parental-dna-gender-tests/identigene-dna-paternity-test-skuid-420841

Isn't his hair the elephant in the room? Why can't you tell your wife you'd like to do a paternity test?

It's possible that your son is genetically related to you. It's also possible he is not. There's a way to find out that costs about $100. So ask yourself if the knowledge is worth it.

Have you asked your wife? Tried to calculate the conception?

I guess you could ask for a paternity test. But if your going to stay with your wife and you love the kid, what's the point? Your the only dad he will ever know and to him you are dad.

Wife cheated and now I wonder if our son is mine. I love him madly and would be devastated if he weren't but I have to ask the question.

I have dark brown hair and WW has black hair. OM has red headed children.

Our son was born with a full head of red hair which has darkened a little over time to light brown with red highlights.

Google not real helpful to me.

Any genetics experts out there?