I usually start prayer with thanksgiving. That alone is helpful because it shifts my perspective. Recently, I had to make a decision about whether or not to medicate my child with ADHD, and I started by thanking God for giving me the opportunity to parent this incredible, wonderful little boy, and recognizing how incredibly lucky I am that I am not making this decision alone, but have the counsel of an excellent medical/psychological team. In the end, those thoughts gave me a new perspective, and helped me have more confidence in my eventual decision, which was not to medicate him.* It wasn't "Jesus says no drugs", it was like talking with a friend with shared values and getting clarity.

I have never had an experience where I felt like Jesus talked to me or directed me to a decision. That wouldn't fit with my understanding of free will anyway. It's more like he stood with me and that presence gave me the ability to calm down and put aside my anxiety and have some perspective.

*DS has medical issues that made this a complicated decision, in other circumstances I would likely have made a different choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I pray about something and make a decision, I stop stressing about it. Period. If there was no other benefit, that would be a huge one IMO.

If I just go over the pros and cons, I can't stop second guessing my decision. I feel sure I must have missed something.

Thank you for responding! Do you stop second guessing because you belive it's in god's hands? If so, how did you know it was the right decision--at what point do you get the "sign"?

Yes, I have an immediate sense of relief because I have turned the matter over to God. I try to pray "Your Will be done." Rather than asking for a particular outcome. This isn't easy because I am naturally a control freak.
Many times, I have had an initial disappointment about how something turned out, only to have a better opportunity come my way later, avoid a tragedy, or learn an important lesson.

Here's what I figured out:

when people (in my experience it's always been some form of Christians) say they prayed about something and God or Jesus told them what to do, what really happened is that they thought hard about their problem and came up with a solution, and then made the conscious decision to attribute that solution to Jesus. Or God, or whoever they were praying to.

I've been praying for work for over a year, and making donations to monks to pray for me to get work, and so far, nothing.

I don't use this terminology, but I think its just how some people think through things. The end is the same - they make a decision that is best for them. Whether they call it praying, thinking through, or meditating, its what people do to make a decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP would you ask the same question if someone said they were going to meditate over something?

Good question. With meditation, I feel that clarity comes from within. Whereas with praying, the influence comes from an external source. But like I said, I'm not familiar with praying, so I could be wrong.

People who pray are just meditating and calling it something else so they don't have to take responsibility for whatever they decide.

When I pray I repeat words in my head over and over again. I have been repeating these word tens of thousands of time since I was young. I can get to the point where is am saying these word almost automatically, without thinking. I close my eye, breath steady and concentrate on the words and eventually nothingness. It helps me stay calm and focused and helps me stop obsessively thinking about things that bother me.

Anonymous wrote:OP would you ask the same question if someone said they were going to meditate over something?

Good question. With meditation, I feel that clarity comes from within. Whereas with praying, the influence comes from an external source. But like I said, I'm not familiar with praying, so I could be wrong.

OP would you ask the same question if someone said they were going to meditate over something?

Depak Chopra wrote eloquently about this, and people's too-literal misunderstanding of prayer, in "How to Know God." A good read for atheists/agnostics interested in the topic of others' beliefs (it is not a "how to" book in spite of the title).

The answer doesn't sound like anything. You don't hear a real voice or anything.

To me, prayer provides wisdom, guidance, and a sense of peace. Things may happen that may either open or close a door for you. I guess you could almost liken it to fate.

Here's a Bible verse that sort of sums it up: Philippians 4:6-7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Anonymous wrote:When I pray about something and make a decision, I stop stressing about it. Period. If there was no other benefit, that would be a huge one IMO.

If I just go over the pros and cons, I can't stop second guessing my decision. I feel sure I must have missed something.

Thank you for responding! Do you stop second guessing because you belive it's in god's hands? If so, how did you know it was the right decision--at what point do you get the "sign"?

When I pray about something and make a decision, I stop stressing about it. Period. If there was no other benefit, that would be a huge one IMO.

If I just go over the pros and cons, I can't stop second guessing my decision. I feel sure I must have missed something.

You are not alone, I don't get it either.

I was not brought up in any religion, so I have limited understanding about prayer.

A friend said to me recently that she was praying and praying about a decision she had to make and therefore she made X decision.

What I don't understand is, how does prayer help you make a decision? Do you think you're getting an answer from a higher being? What does that answer sound like? How is prayer different than going through pros/cons of a decision, which one can do without prayer.

I'm not trying to be critical, just trying to understand.