Anonymous
09/01/2015 17:12
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Is she depressed, or just low energy? To quit activities sounds like an underlying issue going on.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 15:41
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Can she volunteer? School clubs?
Anonymous
09/01/2015 15:36
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
OP here. It started before HS started but now with the lack of after school activities (used to have soccer twice a week, CCD once a week) I'm concerned.
We try to limit access to the internet and TV during the school week but we both work so it is difficult to monitor.
She does her homework without any prodding from us but does struggle with Spanish. We have a tutor coming to the house to work with her once a week.
Trying to get her to do yoga or some other type of fitness activity.
We try to limit access to the internet and TV during the school week but we both work so it is difficult to monitor.
She does her homework without any prodding from us but does struggle with Spanish. We have a tutor coming to the house to work with her once a week.
Trying to get her to do yoga or some other type of fitness activity.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 11:54
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Anonymous wrote:How is she spending her time?
I think this is a good question. But she's been a freshman for what a day? a week?
Why do you think she's unmotivated? B/c she doesn't want to do soccer or crew? Have you actually asked her what she's interested in? Can you give her some breathing room and a semester to acclimate to h.s. without assuming she's depressed?
Anonymous
09/01/2015 11:17
Subject: Re:HS Freshman - No motivation
Anonymous wrote:My kids went through magnet programs in MCPS. And while they did great and continue to do great, I spent a lot of time with them ensuring that they do their work.
I realized that studying, doing homework etc. - is a matter of habit and discipline. These habits need to be formed and this discipline needs to be instilled.
What normal child will choose work (study) over play? So, it is important to set up a schedule and adhere to it. Lack of motivation and procrastination is normal and even the so-called high achieving child has to work through them.
Even as adults - if we were given an option not to do any work or chores - we will take it. It is only that we know that there are long term consequences of not doing the work that pushes us to tackle them. So, setting goals and schedules and adhering to it is how you get started. Motivation will build up over time when these efforts will bring success.
Oh, screw you for taking the credit for having motivated kids. We had motivated and unmotivated kids, high achievers and low achievers, and we neither took credit for their achievements nor blame for their failures. So get off your high horse.
My advice to the OP is that there are lots of unmotivated students out there in their early teens. Many will kick it up a notch, but some won't. And many, many, have lower grades than your daughter. If your child keeps a 3.0 to 3.5 and tests well enough she'll have plenty of good college options without any extracurricular activities. Truly only the very top colleges really care about that. I'd be very careful about sending her to a private college, though, because the risk is too high that she'll drop out.
My further advice is that if she doesn't want to get involved in any extracurriculars than don't make her. Insist she get a part-time job. The benefits to her self-esteem are just as good if not better than most ECs, and she'll feel good making money.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 10:36
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Anonymous wrote:Daughter just started 9th grade. She does ok in school, not great and would likely struggle with any type of AP classes.
She dropped playing soccer this year.
She has no extracurricular activities after school. Tried to convince to try crew but not interested.
Anyone else have any experience with unmotivated teens? She will likely already have a tough time getting into a good college with a likely 3.0-3.5 grade point with nothing else to add to her resume.
She sounds like my daughter but mine is in 8th. She's a solid student but doesn't seek out a challenge academically and earns a few As and mostly Bs most quarters. She did 2 extracurriculars last year (not sports) and has now quit even those. I worry what will happen next year. BUT I know she will go to college and wants to go to college. She says so. I'm ok with her not going to a top school but hope her lack of challenging classes and ZERO extracurriculars doesn't prevent her from going somewhere middle of the road. I took her for a neuropsych eval and ruled out LD. My kid is just average it turns out. I'm ok with that and if we lived outside of the DC area she would probably find lots of peers. It's just that in her high performing school, she always seems behind.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 10:20
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Anonymous wrote:Daughter just started 9th grade. She does ok in school, not great and would likely struggle with any type of AP classes.
She dropped playing soccer this year.
She has no extracurricular activities after school. Tried to convince to try crew but not interested.
Anyone else have any experience with unmotivated teens? She will likely already have a tough time getting into a good college with a likely 3.0-3.5 grade point with nothing else to add to her resume.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 10:02
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Phone and internet go away until she shapes up.
This. I take my child's phone away as soon as she gets in the house.
This has motivated your child to do after school activities? Which ones?
Anonymous
09/01/2015 10:02
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
How is she spending her time?
Anonymous
09/01/2015 10:00
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Anonymous wrote:Phone and internet go away until she shapes up.
This. I take my child's phone away as soon as she gets in the house.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 09:58
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Phone and internet go away until she shapes up.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 09:57
Subject: Re:HS Freshman - No motivation
My kids went through magnet programs in MCPS. And while they did great and continue to do great, I spent a lot of time with them ensuring that they do their work.
I realized that studying, doing homework etc. - is a matter of habit and discipline. These habits need to be formed and this discipline needs to be instilled.
What normal child will choose work (study) over play? So, it is important to set up a schedule and adhere to it. Lack of motivation and procrastination is normal and even the so-called high achieving child has to work through them.
Even as adults - if we were given an option not to do any work or chores - we will take it. It is only that we know that there are long term consequences of not doing the work that pushes us to tackle them. So, setting goals and schedules and adhering to it is how you get started. Motivation will build up over time when these efforts will bring success.
I realized that studying, doing homework etc. - is a matter of habit and discipline. These habits need to be formed and this discipline needs to be instilled.
What normal child will choose work (study) over play? So, it is important to set up a schedule and adhere to it. Lack of motivation and procrastination is normal and even the so-called high achieving child has to work through them.
Even as adults - if we were given an option not to do any work or chores - we will take it. It is only that we know that there are long term consequences of not doing the work that pushes us to tackle them. So, setting goals and schedules and adhering to it is how you get started. Motivation will build up over time when these efforts will bring success.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 09:44
Subject: Re:HS Freshman - No motivation
I agree with talking to a doctor, but I assume she had her yearly physical.
I don't think it is reasonable to assume a 3.0-3.5 student is not going to a "good college".
Maybe sending that message has made her lack motivation, she can't be the student YOU want her to be so why try.
3.0-3.5 is outstanding actually for a person that is "not a great student". Are there learning disabilities?
I would not say, you have to "build your resume"... it very fake and kids are sensitive to that.
Tell her she needs to pick 1 healthy thing to do, she dropped soccer, fine (do you know why she did that?) but she needs to replace it with something else.
She also needs to pick one more club to do or one more non-athletic activity.... volunteer, drama, team manager... something.
You probably need to readjust your opinion of good colleges, if you are sending the message that Towson (for example) is not a "good college" then you are probably the source of her lack of motivation.
I don't think it is reasonable to assume a 3.0-3.5 student is not going to a "good college".
Maybe sending that message has made her lack motivation, she can't be the student YOU want her to be so why try.
3.0-3.5 is outstanding actually for a person that is "not a great student". Are there learning disabilities?
I would not say, you have to "build your resume"... it very fake and kids are sensitive to that.
Tell her she needs to pick 1 healthy thing to do, she dropped soccer, fine (do you know why she did that?) but she needs to replace it with something else.
She also needs to pick one more club to do or one more non-athletic activity.... volunteer, drama, team manager... something.
You probably need to readjust your opinion of good colleges, if you are sending the message that Towson (for example) is not a "good college" then you are probably the source of her lack of motivation.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 09:12
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Anonymous wrote:Daughter just started 9th grade. She does ok in school, not great and would likely struggle with any type of AP classes.
She dropped playing soccer this year.
She has no extracurricular activities after school. Tried to convince to try crew but not interested.
Anyone else have any experience with unmotivated teens? She will likely already have a tough time getting into a good college with a likely 3.0-3.5 grade point with nothing else to add to her resume.
She's gotta find some internal motivation. You should rule out something medical (e.g. depression). Does she want to go to college? Ask her. If she says no - don't panic but make her get a job next summer and see how hard it will be to support herself without a degree.
Anonymous
09/01/2015 08:46
Subject: HS Freshman - No motivation
Daughter just started 9th grade. She does ok in school, not great and would likely struggle with any type of AP classes.
She dropped playing soccer this year.
She has no extracurricular activities after school. Tried to convince to try crew but not interested.
Anyone else have any experience with unmotivated teens? She will likely already have a tough time getting into a good college with a likely 3.0-3.5 grade point with nothing else to add to her resume.
She dropped playing soccer this year.
She has no extracurricular activities after school. Tried to convince to try crew but not interested.
Anyone else have any experience with unmotivated teens? She will likely already have a tough time getting into a good college with a likely 3.0-3.5 grade point with nothing else to add to her resume.