Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 19:42     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
Anonymous wrote:OP, does he have an IQ significantly under 100? "Learnin disabled" can mean all kinds of things, but reading between the lines, I'm thinking your son has DS or another profound mental handicap. There's a huge difference in what's appropriate when issues of consent come into play. You need to be more clear about what you're asking.


100 is average. 70 is the threshold for intellectual disability.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 19:41     Subject: Re:Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
I think you will get better responses on the SN board. I am on there for little kid stuff but there are also discussions of transition/adult issues too.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 10:14     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
Anonymous wrote:His level: low end of low average in some areas, average or slightly above in others; poor abstract reasoning skills; very low writing and spelling skills; avid reader; good verbal vocabulary. Excellent social skills though quiet. Great with hands-on abilities. Totally self-sufficient and independent but vulnerable to being taken advantage of. No mean bone in his body. Helpful to others. He seems to be in a subset of people where there are not many others like him, which is the challenge. Parental involvement is limited; just trying to be helpful in setting a direction.


You said he was recently widowed. How did he find his first spouse? Unless it was in high school, he should try the same method.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 10:11     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
Church?
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2015 09:13     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
His level: low end of low average in some areas, average or slightly above in others; poor abstract reasoning skills; very low writing and spelling skills; avid reader; good verbal vocabulary. Excellent social skills though quiet. Great with hands-on abilities. Totally self-sufficient and independent but vulnerable to being taken advantage of. No mean bone in his body. Helpful to others. He seems to be in a subset of people where there are not many others like him, which is the challenge. Parental involvement is limited; just trying to be helpful in setting a direction.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2015 16:00     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
How do the LDs affect him? What do you mean by at his level?
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2015 09:16     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
I have an adult son with learning disabilities, including social anxiety etc. kids with LDs grow up to be adults with LDs. In his mid 20s, he still relies on his parents for many things.
So: he meets people via his friends from H/S, all of whom were in his special ed program. I would caution him against getting sucked into something called "Events and Adventures" which markets itself as a way to meet people but is overly expensive and markets to individuals like our kids
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2015 09:16     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a friend who has a significant learning disability, plus some other things that are undiagnosed I am sure.

He has found the most success in networking groups for the learning disabled, places like Toastmasters, and groups where they share mutual interests.

While these things don't necessarily equate to dates, he's found that the more his time is filled, the less loneliness he experiences and the less "out of synch with normal people" he feels.

He's asked me what I think about online or speed dating before, and I've been honest: these places are competitive and hard enough for "normal" folk. He's better to find someone with mutual passion to develop something with. At the least, he's out pursuing his passions, rather an sitting alone, swiping profiles on tinder that will never get him a bite.


I think this is great advice. It sounds like he's delayed (You mention finding people who operate at his level) So the regular online dating scene may be too much for him. My brother has very high functioning autism (Aspergers before they stopped using that term). Online dating was a struggle for him. He's a genius but with awful social intelligence. He found a hobby he loves and got active in that community and has had a NT girlfriend for the past 3 years.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2015 09:10     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
OP, I have a friend who has a significant learning disability, plus some other things that are undiagnosed I am sure.

He has found the most success in networking groups for the learning disabled, places like Toastmasters, and groups where they share mutual interests.

While these things don't necessarily equate to dates, he's found that the more his time is filled, the less loneliness he experiences and the less "out of synch with normal people" he feels.

He's asked me what I think about online or speed dating before, and I've been honest: these places are competitive and hard enough for "normal" folk. He's better to find someone with mutual passion to develop something with. At the least, he's out pursuing his passions, rather an sitting alone, swiping profiles on tinder that will never get him a bite.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2015 08:38     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
Learning*
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2015 08:38     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
OP, does he have an IQ significantly under 100? "Learnin disabled" can mean all kinds of things, but reading between the lines, I'm thinking your son has DS or another profound mental handicap. There's a huge difference in what's appropriate when issues of consent come into play. You need to be more clear about what you're asking.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2015 08:09     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
I'd say online dating is good for just about anyone. If he's interested in a woman with a disability or who knows about them Volunteering at a disability-specific advocacy group may be a good way to meet people. I would also recommend being upfront about it early in the relationship if it's something that might affect communication, especially since compensatory measures can need a little adjusting with age. If he was married for a long time she may have adjusted to all of his quirks, new partners won't have that. -
Wife of LD/ADHD adult
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2015 08:04     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
JCC has a number of resources for adults with special needs, including social.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2015 08:00     Subject: Re:Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
OP, you might want to be more specific about the situation. When I hear learning disabilities, I think something like dyslexia, which doesn't seem to present its own special dating needs.
Anonymous
Post 08/30/2015 20:54     Subject: Dating opportunities for adults with learning disabilities
My 45-year-old son was recently widowed. He has learning disabilities and is a wonderful, responsible, independent and well-adjusted person, but he is finding it difficult to find new friends, especially females, operating at his level. Any suggestions on where to look or who might facilitate his search? The universe of appropriate people seems small and is hard to identify.