I wanted to go on the pill, parents said no, used condom instead, pregnant at 22.

I'd go with an IUD. Birth control pills are more prone to user error and have more side effects. Just tell her... "I prefer you don't have sex yet, but it's more important to me that you be safe if/when you choose to have sex. I hope you will talk to me first but just in case, I want you to know that you can ask your doctor any questions you have. Birth control and STD protection are essential, and if you would like, you can talk to your doctor about birth control options now so that you are prepared when the time comes."

Does anyone push condoms to prevent STDs? Preventing pregnancy is really important but some STDs are not curable and it would suck to have to deal with that at 15.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would not give her an IUD. No matter how many times you say that it does not mean she should have sex, your giving her a way to have sex without consequences. Your words and actions send seperate messages

Seriously??!!! Birth control pills are slut pills and IUDs are slut devices??!! Get real, teenagers have sex no matter what. They might as well have reliable birth control.

Anonymous wrote:But sexually active as a freshman in high school? Really? Not my daughter!

Just so you know EVERY parent of a freshman in high school says the same thing. No one WANTS that, c'mon now! Im thrilled my DD's will have the IUD option as I think the pill has a larger margin or error the younger/less responsible the user.

But sexually active as a freshman in high school? Really? Not my daughter!

I don't think fear of consequences works very well with teens; if I had to choose between my kid waiting a few years and getting pregnant in college versus getting an IUD and becoming sexually active in 11th grade, I'd go with the IUD.

Honestly, I would not give her an IUD. No matter how many times you say that it does not mean she should have sex, your giving her a way to have sex without consequences. Your words and actions send seperate messages

You should just ask her - it doesn't need to be a big deal, nor will it make her start having sex. It may be a good idea to get it sooner than later in case one brand/formulation doesn't agree with her as well as another. She can have the talk with a doctor as well if she isn't comfortable with you.

Anonymous wrote:for PP who gave DD IUD&pill, how old was she?

She was a risk taker- I suggested the pill for "regularity and acne control" at 14; unfortunately my gut was right on target with that timing.

At 16 she requested an IUD; a number of other girls had them. Her gyn confirmed it is the recommendation for her age group. Though the procedure was fairly uncomfortable after she (and I) are glad she got it. I'd prefer she'd abstain, but I wasn't willing to bet another life on it.

I would talk to her about it and let her know that, while you hope she waits to have sex, you also hope that when she chooses to have sex, she will be safe. Tell her you will make an appointment for her to talk to a doctor about birth control and STD prevention without judging.

for PP who gave DD IUD&pill, how old was she?

Talk to her about it. Talking won't make her want to have sex...

I would have a frank conversation with her basically with the same information you outlined here, including your concern that you don't want to condone it.

My DD started on the pill and then asked for an IUD. I feel better about the latter as there is a huge amount of user error possible in the pill.

-Not a grandparent

I don't think that my daughter (15) has yet had sex, and we have talked about sex on many occasions and I feel comfortable with her knowledge of stds/contraception. I would be ok with her going on the pill or even getting an IUD. Should I ask her if she wants one? Or will that encourage her to have sex? I want her to be safe first and foremost, but I don't want to send the message that she has my permission to have sex. I know that other people at her school have sex, including (i'm sure) some of her friends. I dont want to wait so long she has unprotected sex or regular sex with just a condom. What should I do?