The reason we discovered it was bad to have a MIL be the nanny is that it is seriously 10 hours and day for 5 days a week.

Tell her it would put unnecessary stress on your relationship with her, and you want to make sure you all have a good relationship.

We were anti strangers, too, but after having my mom take care of DD, I wish I knew then what I know now.

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her while you really appreciate the offer you feel DD needs more structure and opportunity to socialize with children her own age. Then throw her a bone like could you she pick DD up after preschool and watch her until you got home?

A bone?

Just tell her while you really appreciate the offer you feel DD needs more structure and opportunity to socialize with children her own age. Then throw her a bone like could you she pick DD up after preschool and watch her until you got home?

Interested in the This is What Works for our Family responders. Would you ask for help with sick days, snow days etc?

No thank you, we're sending her to preschool but we are so grateful to know you're here if we need help.

Is it cultural that it is expected that she cares for her grandchildren the same way that you will care for her in her old age?

2.5 is the perfect age for preschool if you work.
Kids like being around other kids. If she were an infant it's different. A 2.5 year old plays all day and doesn't need to be held and fed.
Be nice though, tell her you can really use her for sick days, pick ups, random other days etc. and honestly as she gets older, you will welcome the break and it's good for your child.

Once she starts preschool there will be plenty of snow days, teacher professional development days, and holidays that you will need backup care. There will be lots of opportunities for your MIL to help with DD without being her full time nanny.

There is no reason to compromise by allowing her to babysit half or part days. I don't know why people are suggesting that.

Just stay firm, tell her, like PP says, this is what you'd prefer. She can choose to respect and accept your parenting or not.

What does DH think?

Tell her thanks, and sign DD up for a good part-time preschool. Your MIL can take care of her for the rest of the day.

she got upset

Don't live your life afraid people will get upset.

Don't even bring it up again. Seriously. Just do what works for you and your family. If she says something, just say, "Oh, that is so nice of you to consider, but this is what works for us" and don't get into it.

Find a preschool thats like 9-3 and let her do afternoon pick up and spend remaining hours with her at your house.

My mil, lovely person, wants to be my dd's nanny so I can go back to work. I casually brought up the idea of a daycare, and she got upset and maybe offended. She's just not what I would want in a nanny, though I'm sure she'd love Dd to death, I'd rather dd go to a preschool/daycare at this point. Dd is 2.5. What do you all think? How can I lessen the blow?