Just came back from Turkey. My take:

-If you're not totally into ruins to the point where you spent hours gazing lovingly at them, skip Ephesus. Really.

-No one here has mentioned Pamukkale. It's a possible day trip from Bodrum. A long bus ride yes, but it's unique - I haven't seen anywhere else in the world like that. Recent reviews on Tripadvsior excoriate Turkey officials for allowing tourists to ruin the place (and hotels to siphon ff the water) but right now, it's still worth seeing. Really. Go before it's totally shot.

Pamukkale has a great set of ruins of its own, btw. Including a very nice amphitheater.

--Bodrum hmm it's basically Ocean City Turkey. I don't know what I'd do there for more than two days other than take that day trip to Pamukkale. Yes, we did the castle and the museum of underwater archaeology and the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus and we even went over to that island at the far end where it has a Roman road leading to it. Locals refer to it as Gumsluk but you can find it on tripadvisr as Rabbit Island.

--Istanbul is awesome. Amazing. The Basilica Cistern, the Hagis Sophia, the Blue Mosque. I picked up plenty of scarves at the Spice Market (not as overpriced as at the Grand Bazaar, which looks like the interior of a U. S. mall). Topkapi PLace was nice too.

That said, two full days of sightseeing would have been more than enough for me. I spent four there. Too much. Most of the sites are clustered close enough in the old city that you can hit them all quickly. I'm also an early morning person and go everywhere before the lines hit.

--Cappadocia is enormously popular and with good reason. But travel to/from there is time consuming.

I recommend you go through tripadvisor and figure out how much time you need in Istanbul, add one more location (Cappadocia or Bodrum as a possible base), and that's enough for 6-7 days.

Anonymous wrote:I have always heard that Turkey is a very safe place yet a friend who recently visited said she did not feel safe in her own. Any thoughts on safety from others?

Was in Istanbul this past weekend, felt very safe.

My family is Turkish, so I watch the safety situation there quite closely. Things with the PKK have heated up recently, but far from the typical tourist locales. I think that general common sense is more than enough to feel comfortable in Turkey with or without a partner.
I would shoot for a late October visit if you can. The weather should be really nice then for ambling around.

It is good on rye bread with various other toppings.

OP here, thanks again! Lots to consider and investigate. It would be late October/early Nov.

I have always heard that Turkey is a very safe place yet a friend who recently visited said she did not feel safe in her own. Any thoughts on safety from others?

You made the right call on giving Istanbul another day. I think flying out
to Cappadocia and spending some time there would not be overdoing it at 4-5 months pregnant. I suggest Hagia Sophia, Sultanahmet Mosque, Grand Bazaar, Taksim and Istiklal Street, Chora Church, Ortakoy, Bebek, and a ferry ride over to Kadikoy while in Istanbul.

21:05 here--glad to see other travelers with views similar to my own ! op, you still haven't mentioned what time of year you will be going--if it's way off-season the littler resort towns or tourist destinations may shut down a bit and be more limited in terms of transport etc. For example, the tour of Hieropolis mentioned by a PP (sounds good !) may run only 2x per week, say, instead of more frequently, or boat trips from a seaside town might not run. Of course these tourist sites would be somewhat open/lively all year round but if you have only s few days in the "small" destination, do consider this.

Ephesus as a town isn't alluring on its own--you'd be making the trip to see the ruins. Glad other PPs loved them --they are an entirely different experience than Angor Wat as the history is so different and the setting etc. But like I said, you'd be going there for the ruins. Maybe pick a location which offers multiple things--Pammukale with its geology and nearby ruins as PP suggested, or Cappadocia with its rock-cut stuff and moderate hikes and maybe a balloon ride. And Bodrum with its seaside /castle. (Unlike PP above, even if you are not clubbing it has more to offer unless it's cold.

I actually think you should allow more than 1 additional day in Istanbul and make day trips to, say, princes islands, Iznik (walled city of Nicea, home of Nicene creed if that matters, but also of Iznik red color of Turkish tile and they have a tile museum)...Bursa, and maybe Rumeli Hisari castles up the Bosphorus. The former 2 are pretty untouristed.
Good tip from a PP on the affordable flights. I took an overnight bus to Cappadociana and it was unpleasant and eats up so much time.

Thanks all! Ok, you've convinced me to give Istanbul another day. But we definitely want to get out of the city and see somewhere else (when traveling our favorite places tend not to be the big cities themselves but smaller places). also DH has seen most of the sites and I am ok not covering everything in this trip.

In full disclosure, my hesitancy about Cappadocia is that I'll be 4-5 months pregnant. Didn't state that in the original post because I didn't want this turning into a convo about whether I should be flying. Obviously will discuss with my doctor before making any decisions. Feeling good and still pretty active, but not sure I'll be up for extended hikes and rock scrambling and I wonder if there would be enough to keep up occupied? It does look really cool though!

The differing opinions on Ephesus are interesting- I do love ruins but have been to Angkor Wat and of course nothing is nearly as impressive after that!

I'll join the chorus of people who recommend that you don't give Istanbul short shrift; it's one of my favorite cities in the world. That said, if you are set on doing a few days elsewhere, check out Pegasus Airlines. They fly from Istanbul to most of the main tourist destinations and the flight prices are ridiculously cheap-- $20-$30 each leg. That saves a lot on travel time; Turkey is a big country! The jets I flew on were very much like, say, Southwest. Just keep in mind that most of the Pegasus flights go out of the other airport in Istanbul, not the international one that you will arrive at.

Bodrum was fun, but I personally wouldn't recommend it for you. With only one week in Turkey, I'm guessing that you aren't really looking for the resort/beach/clubbing experience. Bodrum has some interesting sites, but most of the area caters to the European vacationers who use that area (as well as the Turkish Rivera) in a similar manner as Americans use the Caribbean. We met many people from the UK, Germany, etc who fly down for a weekend in sunny weather. It was fun, but we had 2 weeks and we agreed afterward that the overall experience wasn't that much different from a lot of other beachside destinations around the world.

Ephesus is an unique experience because it is the most extensive attempt to reconstruct the city from ruins, and it was a major hub back in the day. That said, it can get pretty run over with tourists and you can find similar things (for the most part) elsewhere. Probably the only truly impressive thing was the library. People talk about the amphitheater, but while big, a lot of the seats were patched up with concrete and it just wasn't as well preserved as others I've seen.

That brings me to one place that others haven't mentioned: Pamukkale. The ruins of Hieropolis are nowhere near as extensive as Ephesus, but the amphitheater is pretty well preserved and the necropolis is interesting especially if you get a tour guide. The museum on-site is very cheap and well worth the money, with some lovely sculptural examples. Then there is the hot spring and the travertines-- unique things that make it worth staying one night, especially since that means you can be at the travertines towards sunset when most of the tourists leave. (Most tourists stay elsewhere and bus in, but Pamukkale has some cute B&B's and hotels that you can stay overnight at; Melrose Place Hotel was where we stayed and it was charming.) I wouldn't stay more than one night, though... while there are a lot of unique things to see, you can finish them all in 1-2 days. If you plan to go along the coast anyways, it'd be worth making a stop there.

Cappadocia was great and probably is the one other site I would recommend. Besides the underground cities mentioned by someone else, there is also the Goreme Open Air Museum (lots of old churches) and some of the hiking in the area is relatively light. Kelebek Cave Hotel in Goreme has some of the best food we ate while we were in Turkey (the only meal that was clearly better was a home-cooked meal in a local's home). The hot air balloon was a lot of fun, but not an absolute necessity-- just a great view of the landscape. I'm assuming you'd stay in Goreme because that is such a cute area. Urgup is nearby and you can do wine tasting there as well as find some more good food; most of the restaurants in Goreme really aren't that great. That said, unless you focus exclusively on doing tours or secure some sort of transportation, there may be a LOT of walking. So if you are severely limited in physical activity, I wouldn't recommend it for now.

I agree that it would be a shame to shortchange Istanbul - I've been there twice before but would go back in heartbeat - it's just one of the greatest cities in the world (and I've travelled extensively). I enjoyed Ephesus more than I thought I would - if you like ruins (I do), it's actually a really good one. Bodrum was a chic seaside town - tho I'd look into the refugee situation (I think there's a lot concentrated there right now which might make travel a bit difficult - or at least a bit tense). Cappadoccia was cool - the underground cities tour was a highlight. I'm not totally sold that it's worth the detour to get there but it is a neat area. Seriously tho, spend time in Istanbul - the art, architecture, Bosporous, early morning muezzin calls, gorgeous views, amazing restaurants, etc etc.... There's really nothing like it.

It would be a shame to spend only a couple of days in Istanbul. If he is there on business, can you not see some main sites on your own, then do some of the smaller gems with him? (Chora church, antique parts of Grand Bazaar, topkapi palace, etc etc ) with him?

In terms of doable destinations from Istanbul, it depends on your interests and what time of year you are going (weather). Some ideas/thoughts:

Bodrum--gorgeous seaside town, castle/museum and remains of Mausoleum, clubs at night--2-3 days
Ephesus--among the best sites of ruins, esp if you have interest in Greek/Roman and/or early Christianity (remains of Church of St John are there, in addition to main site of Ephesus. Most Can be done in 2 days --add in another one if you book a nice hotel with pool and lounge around)
Antalya: south coast of turkey so takes longer to travel there/back, but fantastic coastline and amazing ruins of Side and Perge

I forgot to mention that you can do day trips (minibus tours) from Bodrum to places like Magnesium and Pergamom.

You can also do a day-long boat trip from Bodrum (also from places around Antalya) where they take you to little gorgeous coves etc. But it all depends on the season, OP. After September the boats/beach time would not be as realistic.

I'm a ruins/museums/seaside person if it wasn't obvious
As for Capadoccia, it has impressive /unique scenery too as well as Goreme, location of renowned Byzantine Rock-cut churches--but they are kind of a niche art history thing so not sure if they would appeal. I found the "underground city" tours very fascinating....im not sure all tours go there but it's well worth looking for one that does. All tours will bring you on the mandatory stop at the alabaster shop/pottery shop, of course! I have never done a balloon tour as I thought it was a bit touristy for my style. I did find the landscape really interesting.

Really? I thought Ephesus was amazing, and I've seen a TON of ruins. Somehow, Ephesus felt more "real."

However, I could spend a week --or a lifetime -- in Istanbul and never get bored.

Cappadocia is very cool, thought, and I loved the local area there. We had a truly great time singing karaoke in a bar where we (American tourists) were the only patrons. There are tufts all over the world, but that is a particularly impressive collection.

Cappadocia hiking is not very strenuous, if that is a factor. It's beautiful there and was one of my very favorite travel experiences! If you are considering Ephesus and have seen ruins elsewhere, I would skip it.

I may have the opportunity to piggyback on DH's work trip to Istanbul. We'd only have 6-7 full days s in the ground, so I'm trying to get some ideas what is reasonable. DH has been to Istanbul before, so while if like to spend a couple days there we definitely want to get out and explore elsewhere. Was thinking either Cappadocia or Ephesus area or Turquoise coast. Based on the pictures alone is probably normally pick Cappadocia but we'd have limitations that would prevent us from doing a hot air ballon ride or extended hikingat the moment, so I'm thinking something a bit more low key might be better. Any recommendations for places to go on the Aegean or Turquoise coasts? There are so many options it's a bit overwhelming!