I handle all of the money. He has no idea how much I spend, nor does he care as long as our overall net worth increases as discussed.

I handle all cooking, shopping, kid stuff, doctors appts, etc.

He offers to help and asks me what needs to be done inside the house. Have a house cleaner who comes every other week.

He handles the outside, usually by hiring it out. But sometimes he will do some things like trimming trees, etc. We have someone who comes weekly to mow/edge.

When he is home, we split childcare 50/50.

We have a part-time nanny for about 18 hrs/week so I can spend one-on-one time with each child and do things like go to the dentist, get my hair colored or exercise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

How do you go from "handles" to "controls"?

Really, there is a very long recent thread on this just for you and those with similar confusion.

Why are you arguing this? Are you pp? She explained it right above you. You're ridiculously defensive. - NP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

How do you go from "handles" to "controls"?

Really, there is a very long recent thread on this just for you and those with similar confusion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

My husband is super frugal and freaks out about my spending.
So this way works for me. We've been doing this since year 2. Its personal, he can't complain about what I spend it on. Pedicures, expensive purses, yada yada, save it or spend it as it comes in its mine to do with as I please.

It depends. When camping and on boat, DH does a lot of cooking and cleaning. When home, I do most domestic things. However, recently, I've been feeling burned out and he's been doing the laundry. I actually feel bad. At beginning of marriage, he said he didn't care how cooking and laundry got done (hire a maid), as long as he didn't have to do it. I agreed. Personally, I feel I should be doing most of it, but he's pretty amazing. When it comes to our DS, he's at least 50% involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

Not PP, but most families don't have unlimited money, which means a budget. Knowing what your budget is for certain things isn't the same as an allowance.

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

Anonymous wrote:Handling finances. Work around house, kids homework, childcare, diaper change, housework, calling vendors, anything?' My CFO things he doesn't have to contribute anything. Kids need both parents input on homework and responsibilities. He says blah.

How did he behave towards children and women BEFORE you married him?

Anonymous wrote:Handling finances. Work around house, kids homework, childcare, diaper change, housework, calling vendors, anything?' My CFO things he doesn't have to contribute anything. Kids need both parents input on homework and responsibilities. He says blah.

I suppose it depends on how many hours he works and how many hours he's home.

I think he should ALWAYS make it a point to be involved with parenting, regardless of work.

But things like housework and calling vendors? If he's working 60 hours a week and you're a SAHM then that falls on you.

Honestly, if you aren't running things, you are kind of doing it wrong. My friends who are in happy stay at home relationships tend to view their roles as facilitators. They don't ask "what would you like for dinner." Instead, they give two choices, if anything. They don't run details by their working spouses if they aren't important. They handle the day to day basically. If there's an issue that's big, they bring it up for a discussion at a time when the kids' are sleeping and the spouse and be engaged. It's that sort of thing.

The unhappy people? Have an expectation that the working parent will be as interesting in the details of the day to day life that they have. It's very different when you have all day to focus on your family versus a few hours or a single hour (at best).

He is a dick and uninterested in parenting.

--wohm with sahd. I take kids when I get home for most of evening, we share most duties, he's solely responsible for food/dishes.

Handling finances. Work around house, kids homework, childcare, diaper change, housework, calling vendors, anything?' My CFO things he doesn't have to contribute anything. Kids need both parents input on homework and responsibilities. He says blah.