Anonymous
07/28/2015 19:38
Subject: 12 year old getting first phone
Anonymous wrote:Surprised at many of these responses. My daughters got them at 12 and most (80% probably) of their friends have them. We haven't had any issues.
Same for us. No issues and got phone in 7th grade and now in college.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 19:36
Subject: Re:12 year old getting first phone
Anonymous wrote:I think twelve is a bit young. I have an almost 13 year old, he is not getting a smart phone until HS. I just give my rising sophomore who will soon be 16 a phone, he had an iPod before that. Anyway, internet porn is almost impossible to monitor on a smart device and his body will soon introduced him to it, at least by middle school. I have access to all my kids passwords and I monitor daily and from my experience your kids will jump into the adult world and all it encompasses as soon as they received a phone.
Here's a few things I've come across during the pass month as I scroll down my kids instagram follows: My 12 year old received a picture of a sex toy penis with spike on it - before he got a chance to see it and since I was accessing his account on his iPod I blocked the sender, his 6 grade school associate, my 15 year old last weekend received a picture from another school friend of a person doing the deed(no face showing) doggy style with a link to where the can see the full video. I quickly screened shot the picture so I can take it to school authorities if I need to because this person is distributing porn to a minor. We asked him to block the sender, he's a popular kid at school, if he gets any push back from the kid for block we told him to put the blame on us. The kid took down the picture within half hour. He has received cartoons from girls (14 year olds) simulating blow jobs. He sexuality have been questioned again by girls for not making the moves on them during hangouts. Anyway, I am not sure if any of this is new, but what is clear to me is that it is constant and overwhelming. It is rare that these kids have any meaningful interaction with all that it going on on the internet. My 15 year old take it all in stride and don't get bothered by the bullying, but it is a lot to swallow for me. One thing for sure, you really don't know any of your kids friends until you see how they behave when they're in social media no matter how nice they seem in person.
Why would you need to show school authorities about inappropriate content from one minor to another during the summer? Wouldn't the other teen's parents be a more appropriate contact if you felt strongly about reporting it?
Anonymous
07/28/2015 19:18
Subject: 12 year old getting first phone
I told DD she's not to text anything she wouldn't want a
Parent
Principal
Pediatrician
Pedophile
to see. She is 12.5 and we follow each other on Instagram. I never have a problem with what she post, more a problem with comments other people who are strangers make on her pictures. Every so often I read her texts without warning her first (so she has no time to delete any). Now I know which of her friends curse like sailors.
Parent
Principal
Pediatrician
Pedophile
to see. She is 12.5 and we follow each other on Instagram. I never have a problem with what she post, more a problem with comments other people who are strangers make on her pictures. Every so often I read her texts without warning her first (so she has no time to delete any). Now I know which of her friends curse like sailors.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 19:04
Subject: Re:12 year old getting first phone
Think of it this way, and this is something my 15 year old boy have discussed, a high schooler's social life is like what college was 10 - 20 years ago minus the heavy drinking for at least the first two years and the real life sex. Addiction to all types of porn is now very common. It is no longer the playboy magazine your mother used to fret about you finding. The tail end of MS and 8th grade mentality and behavior is what HS was like 10-20 years. 6 grade is a transition time but by 8th grade everything you're definitely entrenched in this new world. By the end of 9th grade your experiences, at least on line is similar to a college kid. Oh by the way, HU are very common by 11-12 grade.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 19:01
Subject: 12 year old getting first phone
My kids have had phones since age 5, smartphones from middle school on.
Rules were the minimum needed for common sense and safety, and we always made sure the kids understood why each rule we had was necessary.
We didn't have (or want) their passwords, but we did have an absolute policy of "no blame and no questions asked until later" for if they needed to come to us about something that made them uncomfortable.
And we were strict about pictures.
We wouldn't have done our rules the way you did, but the reasons behind the rules you made are understandable and I think they're in line with many families' rules.
Rules were the minimum needed for common sense and safety, and we always made sure the kids understood why each rule we had was necessary.
We didn't have (or want) their passwords, but we did have an absolute policy of "no blame and no questions asked until later" for if they needed to come to us about something that made them uncomfortable.
And we were strict about pictures.
We wouldn't have done our rules the way you did, but the reasons behind the rules you made are understandable and I think they're in line with many families' rules.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 18:44
Subject: 12 year old getting first phone
Anonymous wrote:We wrote up a contract something like this :
http://news.yahoo.com/moms-18-point-iphone-rules-son-143831843--abc-news-parenting.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory&soc_trk=ma
I am bookmarking this! Thanks.
Signed, mom of 11-year old girl about to enter this new world
Anonymous
07/28/2015 18:22
Subject: 12 year old getting first phone
We wrote up a contract something like this :
http://news.yahoo.com/moms-18-point-iphone-rules-son-143831843--abc-news-parenting.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory&soc_trk=ma
http://news.yahoo.com/moms-18-point-iphone-rules-son-143831843--abc-news-parenting.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory&soc_trk=ma
Anonymous
07/28/2015 18:18
Subject: 12 year old getting first phone
We started with a Target brand flip phone with text capability at 12 & DS had earned the right to a smartphone a year later by using what he had responsibly & not losing or breaking. Baby steps. Privileges & responsibilities. Etc.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 18:15
Subject: 12 year old getting first phone
Surprised at many of these responses. My daughters got them at 12 and most (80% probably) of their friends have them. We haven't had any issues.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 16:38
Subject: Re:12 year old getting first phone
Too young. DS is 18 And has never had one. He doesn't want one though, so I guess I haven't had to think about it much.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 16:37
Subject: Re:12 year old getting first phone
Too young. DS is 18 And has never had one. He doesn't want one though, so I guess I haven't had to think about it much.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 09:07
Subject: Re:12 year old getting first phone
Make rules about pictures. You will not believe what kids send and receive via text. My rule is that all pictures have to be on a shared drive and before any photo can be sent or posted, I have to see it. I used to also require that any photo that was sent to one of my kids had to be forwarded to me. Again, you won't believe what I've seen.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 08:36
Subject: 12 year old getting first phone
Wow-- this is a whole new world!! sheesh
Anonymous
07/28/2015 07:38
Subject: Re:12 year old getting first phone
I think twelve is a bit young. I have an almost 13 year old, he is not getting a smart phone until HS. I just give my rising sophomore who will soon be 16 a phone, he had an iPod before that. Anyway, internet porn is almost impossible to monitor on a smart device and his body will soon introduced him to it, at least by middle school. I have access to all my kids passwords and I monitor daily and from my experience your kids will jump into the adult world and all it encompasses as soon as they received a phone.
Here's a few things I've come across during the pass month as I scroll down my kids instagram follows: My 12 year old received a picture of a sex toy penis with spike on it - before he got a chance to see it and since I was accessing his account on his iPod I blocked the sender, his 6 grade school associate, my 15 year old last weekend received a picture from another school friend of a person doing the deed(no face showing) doggy style with a link to where the can see the full video. I quickly screened shot the picture so I can take it to school authorities if I need to because this person is distributing porn to a minor. We asked him to block the sender, he's a popular kid at school, if he gets any push back from the kid for block we told him to put the blame on us. The kid took down the picture within half hour. He has received cartoons from girls (14 year olds) simulating blow jobs. He sexuality have been questioned again by girls for not making the moves on them during hangouts. Anyway, I am not sure if any of this is new, but what is clear to me is that it is constant and overwhelming. It is rare that these kids have any meaningful interaction with all that it going on on the internet. My 15 year old take it all in stride and don't get bothered by the bullying, but it is a lot to swallow for me. One thing for sure, you really don't know any of your kids friends until you see how they behave when they're in social media no matter how nice they seem in person.
Here's a few things I've come across during the pass month as I scroll down my kids instagram follows: My 12 year old received a picture of a sex toy penis with spike on it - before he got a chance to see it and since I was accessing his account on his iPod I blocked the sender, his 6 grade school associate, my 15 year old last weekend received a picture from another school friend of a person doing the deed(no face showing) doggy style with a link to where the can see the full video. I quickly screened shot the picture so I can take it to school authorities if I need to because this person is distributing porn to a minor. We asked him to block the sender, he's a popular kid at school, if he gets any push back from the kid for block we told him to put the blame on us. The kid took down the picture within half hour. He has received cartoons from girls (14 year olds) simulating blow jobs. He sexuality have been questioned again by girls for not making the moves on them during hangouts. Anyway, I am not sure if any of this is new, but what is clear to me is that it is constant and overwhelming. It is rare that these kids have any meaningful interaction with all that it going on on the internet. My 15 year old take it all in stride and don't get bothered by the bullying, but it is a lot to swallow for me. One thing for sure, you really don't know any of your kids friends until you see how they behave when they're in social media no matter how nice they seem in person.
Anonymous
07/28/2015 06:43
Subject: 12 year old getting first phone
My son is about to turn 12 and he is dying to inherit my phone. I am up for an upgrade so we decided to let him inherit it. We are of course wary of giving him a phone though. Not bc he is untrustworthy, but bc it's more electronics. But he is going to start to be more independent.... Here are the rules we have told him: 1) we need to know password 2) anything he writes in a text is public and we could read too 3) he can't bring the phone in his room after a certain time of night (no texting late). Dude needs to read in bed! 4) if he goes on Instagram, we will be on it too. Do these rules seem reasonable? What are others experiences? Any other suggestions? Thanks!